The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.
The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.
The given bar chart illustrates the share of the UK citizens who ate the suggested everyday quantity of fruit and vegetables in three different years.
Overall, the proportion of women was highest, but that of children was the lowest. Moreover, all of the data witnessed upward trends in 2006 and downward tendencies in 2010.
In 2002, this diet was most popular among females with 25%, and the ratio of males was twice as high as the percentage of the offspring at 22% and 11% respectively. Subsequently, the figures for ladies, gentlemen, and their kids peaked at 32%, 28% and 16% in 2006 before dropping to 27%, 24%, and 14% separately.
It can be seen that the statistic of the youngest group made a bigger change with a rise of 3%, whereas the share of women and men showed a smaller alteration, growing by 2% for each in the given time.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The given bar chart illustrates" -> "The bar chart depicts"
Explanation: "Depicts" is a more precise and formal term than "illustrates," which is commonly used in academic writing to describe visual representations like bar charts. -
"share of the UK citizens who ate the suggested everyday quantity of fruit and vegetables" -> "percentage of UK citizens consuming the recommended daily quantity of fruits and vegetables"
Explanation: "Percentage" is more specific and appropriate in statistical contexts than "share," and "recommended daily quantity" is more precise than "suggested everyday quantity." Also, "fruits and vegetables" should be pluralized to match the plural context. -
"the proportion of women was highest, but that of children was the lowest" -> "the proportion of women was highest, while that of children was lowest"
Explanation: "While" is more formal and appropriate in academic writing than "but" when introducing a contrast. -
"all of the data witnessed upward trends in 2006 and downward tendencies in 2010" -> "all data exhibited upward trends in 2006 and downward trends in 2010"
Explanation: "Exhibited" is more formal and precise than "witnessed" in this context, and "trends" should be used consistently throughout the sentence. -
"this diet was most popular among females with 25%" -> "this diet was most prevalent among females at 25%"
Explanation: "Prevalent" is more specific and formal than "popular" in this context, referring to the frequency or degree of occurrence. -
"the ratio of males was twice as high as the percentage of the offspring at 22% and 11% respectively" -> "the proportion of males was twice that of the offspring at 22% and 11%"
Explanation: "Proportion" is more precise than "ratio" when discussing percentages, and "twice that of" is more formal and clear than "twice as high as." -
"Subsequently, the figures for ladies, gentlemen, and their kids peaked at 32%, 28% and 16% in 2006 before dropping to 27%, 24%, and 14% separately" -> "Subsequently, the percentages for women, men, and children peaked at 32%, 28%, and 16% in 2006 before declining to 27%, 24%, and 14%"
Explanation: "Women, men, and children" are more formal and inclusive terms than "ladies, gentlemen, and their kids." "Declining" is more precise than "dropping" in this context, and "percentages" should be used consistently. -
"the statistic of the youngest group made a bigger change with a rise of 3%" -> "the percentage of the youngest group increased by 3%"
Explanation: "Increased" is more direct and formal than "made a bigger change," and "percentage" should be used instead of "statistic" in this context. -
"the share of women and men showed a smaller alteration, growing by 2% for each" -> "the percentages of women and men exhibited a smaller increase, rising by 2% each"
Explanation: "Exhibited" is more formal than "showed," and "increase" is more precise than "alteration." "Rising" is also more formal than "growing."
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main trends in the data, but it does not fully extend the key features. For example, the essay states that the proportion of women was highest, but it does not provide any specific data to support this claim. Additionally, the essay does not fully explain the changes in the data over time.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific data to support the overview. For example, the essay could state that the proportion of women who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables was 25% in 2002, 32% in 2006, and 27% in 2010. The essay could also provide more detailed explanations of the changes in the data over time. For example, the essay could explain that the proportion of women who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables increased by 7% between 2002 and 2006, but then decreased by 5% between 2006 and 2010.
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