The chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000.

The bar chart compares the distances per week travelled by people in the UK using five different means of transport in 1990 and 2000.
Overall, there was an increase in the total distance travelled by all modes of transport with this growth being driven primarily by a rise in bus, rail and air travel while a decline was seen in bicycle and motorbike. In addition, the figure for bus and rail were significantly higher in both years compared to bicycle, motorbike and air travel.
In 1990, the average person travelled 100 kilometers per week, a figure which then went up to about 110 kilometers in 2000.
The number of kilometers travelled by bus started at 40, after which it experienced a slight rise to 42 in 2000. The similar trend can be seen in the figure for rail, which increased from about 35 kilometers to 38 kilometers, respectively.
6 kilometers per week were travelled by bicycle by a person in the UK in 1990, with a subsequent drop to 5 kilometers 10 years later. Similarly, the weekly use of motorbike witnessed a decline from around 10 kilometers to under 5 kilometers. The figure for air travel saw an opposite change, growing from 4 kilometers to nearly 9 kilometers, respectively.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The bar chart compares" -> "The bar chart illustrates"
Explanation: "Illustrates" is a more precise and formal term than "compares," which is more commonly used in academic writing to describe the presentation of data.
"people in the UK using five different means of transport" -> "individuals in the UK utilizing five distinct modes of transportation"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "utilizing" is more precise than "using." Additionally, "modes of transportation" is a more specific term than "means of transport."
"there was an increase" -> "there was a significant increase"
Explanation: Adding "significant" emphasizes the magnitude of the change, enhancing the academic tone.
"primarily by a rise in bus, rail and air travel" -> "primarily driven by increased usage of buses, trains, and air travel"
Explanation: "Increased usage" is more specific and formal than "a rise," and "trains" is more formal than "rail."
"a decline was seen in bicycle and motorbike" -> "a decline was observed in bicycle and motorbike usage"
Explanation: "Observed" is more formal than "seen," and specifying "usage" clarifies that the decline refers to the frequency or amount of use.
"the figure for bus and rail were" -> "the figures for buses and trains were"
Explanation: "Figures" should be plural to match the plural subjects, and "trains" is more specific than "rail."
"then went up to about" -> "increased to approximately"
Explanation: "Increased to approximately" is more formal and precise than "went up to about."
"The similar trend can be seen" -> "A similar trend is evident"
Explanation: "Is evident" is a more formal expression than "can be seen," and it implies a clear observation.
"respectively" -> "respectively"
Explanation: No change needed, as "respectively" is correct and appropriate for indicating corresponding values in lists.
"6 kilometers per week were travelled by a person" -> "six kilometers per week were traveled by individuals"
Explanation: "Six" is the correct form for numbers less than ten, and "individuals" is more formal than "a person."
"a subsequent drop to 5 kilometers" -> "a subsequent decrease to five kilometers"
Explanation: "Decrease" is more specific than "drop," and "five" should be lowercase as it is a number.
"the weekly use of motorbike witnessed a decline" -> "the weekly usage of motorbikes experienced a decline"
Explanation: "Usage" is more formal than "use," and "experienced" is more precise than "witnessed" in this context. Also, "motorbikes" should be plural to match the plural subject.
"growing from 4 kilometers to nearly 9 kilometers" -> "increasing from four kilometers to nearly nine kilometers"
Explanation: "Increasing" is more specific than "growing," and "four" and "nine" should be lowercase as they are numbers.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main trends in the data, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also does not adequately highlight key features/bullet points. For example, the essay states that "the figure for bus and rail were significantly higher in both years compared to bicycle, motorbike and air travel," but it does not provide any specific data to support this claim.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay could also be improved by highlighting key features/bullet points more effectively. For example, the essay could state that "the total distance travelled by bus increased from 40 kilometers per week in 1990 to 42 kilometers per week in 2000," rather than simply stating that "the number of kilometers travelled by bus started at 40, after which it experienced a slight rise to 42 in 2000."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay arranges information and ideas in a coherent manner with an overall progression. It introduces the topic clearly and provides an overview of the trends observed in the chart. Paragraphing is used, but there are instances where it could be more logically structured. Cohesive devices are generally effective, though there are a few instances where cohesion within sentences could be improved. The essay shows an attempt at logical organization and uses a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas, although there are some mechanical uses.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion to reach a higher band score:

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and follows a logical progression of ideas.
Use cohesive devices more consistently and naturally to strengthen connections between sentences and paragraphs.
Pay attention to paragraphing to ensure each paragraph is logically organized and contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. It effectively uses less common lexical items such as "means of transport," "primarily," "significantly," "witnessed," and "opposite change." There is awareness of style and collocation, evident in phrases like "experienced a slight rise," "similar trend," and "subsequent drop." However, there are occasional errors in word choice and word formation, such as "figure for bus and rail were significantly higher" (should be "figures"), and "the weekly use of motorbike witnessed a decline" (awkward phrasing).

How to improve:
To improve to a higher band score (e.g., Band 8), strive for more precise and accurate word choices throughout the essay. Pay attention to plural forms ("figure" vs. "figures"), and ensure that sentences flow smoothly without awkward phrasing ("the weekly use of motorbike witnessed a decline"). Additionally, aim to incorporate a wider variety of sophisticated vocabulary while maintaining accuracy and precision in word usage.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is an attempt to vary sentence forms with some success, though errors in grammar and punctuation are noticeable throughout. The communication is generally clear, but the errors do occasionally affect clarity.

How to improve: To move towards a higher band score, focus on improving the accuracy of complex sentence structures. Work on eliminating frequent grammatical errors and refine punctuation usage for better clarity. Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures with more consistency.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart illustrates the weekly distances traveled by individuals in the UK using five different modes of transport in 1990 and 2000.

Overall, there was an upward trend in the total distance traveled across all transport modes during this period, primarily driven by increases in bus, rail, and air travel, while bicycle and motorbike usage declined. Notably, bus and rail travel distances were consistently higher compared to bicycle, motorbike, and air travel in both years.

In 1990, the average weekly distance traveled per person was 100 kilometers, which increased slightly to approximately 110 kilometers by 2000.

Bus travel began at 40 kilometers per week in 1990, experiencing a slight increase to 42 kilometers by 2000. Similarly, rail travel saw a rise from around 35 kilometers per week in 1990 to about 38 kilometers in 2000.

In contrast, bicycle usage declined from 6 kilometers per week in 1990 to 5 kilometers per week in 2000. Motorbike travel also decreased from approximately 10 kilometers per week in 1990 to just under 5 kilometers per week in 2000. Conversely, air travel witnessed a significant increase from 4 kilometers per week in 1990 to nearly 9 kilometers per week in 2000.