The chart shows the value of goods in the US transported by different mode of transport in 2012, 2018 and prediction for 2045.

The bar chart shows the value of imports and exports in the US categorised by mode of transport in 2012, 2018, and predicted for 2045.

Overall, imports generally exceed the value of exports, and there is continued growth in almost all areas, although air is predicted to remain dominant, while rail carries the lowest value of goods.

In terms of imported goods, air transport had the highest value and increases, carrying goods valued at $472 billion in 2012 and rising to $562 billion in 2018. Road transport was the second highest, with figures climbing from $311to $375 billion. In comparison, the figures for rail and water were significantly lower, with rail rising only slightly from $109 to $115 billion and water actually declining from $288 to $210 billion. Nevertheless, by 2045, all values are predicted to have increased and air will continue to dominate, reaching $3465 billion, significantly higher than any other sector.

With exports, similar trends and positions can be seen albeit at a lower level, and the figures for 2012 and 2018 were generally much closer, with air rising from $461 to $482 billion, and rail from $63 to $64 billion. However, notably, water more than doubled in value (from $73 to $154 billion) and, while exports are expected to increase across all modes of transport in 2045, road alone will exceed the equivalent value of imports at $1244 and $1219 billion respectively.

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Errors and Improvements:

"Overall, imports generally exceed" -> "Overall, imports typically surpass"
Explanation: Replacing "generally exceed" with "typically surpass" adds a touch of formality and specificity to the statement, enhancing the precision of the language used.
"carries the lowest value of goods" -> "transports the least valuable goods"
Explanation: "carries" is a bit informal in this context. "Transports" is a more precise and formal term to use when discussing the movement of goods. Additionally, "the least valuable goods" is more descriptive and specific than "lowest value of goods."
"In terms of imported goods, air transport had the highest value" -> "Regarding imported goods, air transportation held the highest value"
Explanation: "Had" is a bit informal in this context. "Held" is more suitable when discussing data or statistics. "Transportation" is more formal than "transport," and it is better to use the past tense "held" for consistency with the previous sentences.
"figures climbing from $311to $375 billion" -> "figures rose from $311 to $375 billion"
Explanation: "Climbing" is more appropriate for describing ongoing or continuous action, whereas "rose" is the correct past tense verb to describe a one-time increase.
"Nevertheless, by 2045, all values are predicted to have increased" -> "However, by 2045, all values are projected to have risen"
Explanation: "Predicted" can be replaced with "projected" for more precision when discussing future trends based on data analysis. Additionally, "risen" is a more formal verb choice compared to "increased."
"similar trends and positions can be seen albeit at a lower level" -> "similar trends and rankings are observed, albeit at a lesser magnitude"
Explanation: "Positions" could be replaced with "rankings" for a more precise term when discussing comparative data. "At a lower level" is replaced with "at a lesser magnitude" to enhance formality and specificity.
"while exports are expected to increase across all modes of transport in 2045" -> "while exports are anticipated to rise across all modes of transport in 2045"
Explanation: "Expected" can be replaced with "anticipated" to add variation in vocabulary and maintain formality. "Rise" is used instead of "increase" for a more sophisticated verb choice.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 8

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Band Score: 8.0
Explanation: The essay sufficiently covers all the requirements of the task. It provides a clear overview of the trends in imports and exports categorized by mode of transport in 2012, 2018, and the prediction for 2045. Key features and bullet points are presented, highlighted, and illustrated clearly and appropriately.
How to improve: To further enhance the response, consider providing more detailed analysis or comparison between the different modes of transport. Additionally, ensure that all predictions are supported by the data provided in the chart.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a clear organization of information, with a logical progression throughout. The introduction succinctly summarizes the content of the essay. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data, such as imports or exports, and provides a clear central topic. The transitions between paragraphs facilitate smooth progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used effectively, aiding in the coherence of the essay. For instance, phrases like "In terms of," "Nevertheless," and "However, notably" help to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Overall, the essay presents a well-structured analysis of the data with clear logical sequencing.

How to improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that the use of cohesive devices remains consistent throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to the clarity and appropriateness of referencing and substitution to avoid any potential confusion. Lastly, strive for even smoother paragraphing to enhance the overall flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow flexibility and precision in conveying the information presented in the prompt. It effectively utilizes vocabulary related to transportation, economics, and numerical data. Phrases like "categorised by mode of transport," "carrying goods valued at," and "figures climbing" showcase a variety of lexical items. The essay also shows awareness of style and collocation with phrases such as "imports generally exceed," "similar trends and positions," and "notably, water more than doubled in value." Additionally, the essay effectively employs transitional phrases like "Overall," "In terms of," and "Nevertheless," enhancing coherence and cohesion.

How to improve:
To further enhance the lexical resource, the essay could incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and expressions where appropriate. For instance, instead of using repetitive phrases like "the figures for," the essay could vary its language by employing synonyms such as "statistics" or "data points." Additionally, the essay could explore more nuanced vocabulary to describe trends and predictions, providing a richer analysis of the information presented in the chart. Furthermore, paying attention to minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as ensuring consistency in verb tenses ("road alone will exceed" could be revised to "road alone is projected to exceed"), would elevate the overall lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of complex structures, such as the use of subordinate clauses and comparison structures. There is evident control of grammar and punctuation throughout, with frequent error-free sentences. The essay effectively conveys the information provided in the prompt with clarity.

How to improve: To further improve, ensure consistency in using complex structures and aim for even fewer errors in grammar and punctuation. Additionally, consider enhancing the coherence and cohesion of ideas by utilizing cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs more seamlessly.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart illustrates the value of imports and exports in the US, segmented by mode of transportation for the years 2012, 2018, and projected figures for 2045.

Overall, it is apparent that imports consistently surpass exports in value, with sustained growth observed across most categories. Notably, air transport is anticipated to maintain its dominance, while rail transportation consistently represents the lowest value of goods.

Analyzing imported goods, air transport exhibited the highest value, escalating from $472 billion in 2012 to $562 billion in 2018. Similarly, road transport witnessed a substantial increase from $311 billion to $375 billion. Conversely, rail and water transport reported comparatively lower figures, with rail experiencing a marginal rise from $109 billion to $115 billion, while water transport saw a decline from $288 billion to $210 billion. Projections for 2045 suggest a universal increase in values, with air transport expected to reach $3465 billion, significantly surpassing other sectors.

Concerning exports, similar trends are observed, albeit at lower levels. Air transport saw a moderate increase from $461 billion in 2012 to $482 billion in 2018, while rail transport exhibited a slight rise from $63 billion to $64 billion. Notably, water transport demonstrated a substantial growth, more than doubling its value from $73 billion to $154 billion. Predictions for 2045 indicate an overall increase in export values across all modes of transport, with road transport projected to exceed the equivalent value of imports at $1244 billion and $1219 billion respectively.