The charts below show the consumer spending on food and drinks of an average household in three different countries.

The pie charts delineate the percentage of expenditure for five categories of food and beverages of an average household, classified by three distinct nations in 2012.
Overall, it is obvious that a family in the UK and Australia spent most of their money on fruits and vegetables, while starchy food was the highest proportion in Chinese households. In addition, a tiny majority of a family’s budget paid for non-dairy protein in most countries, except for China.
In the given year, a family in the US allocated over a third of their money for fruits and vegetables, while this category made up around 24% and 23% of total spending in Australian and Chinese households, respectively. Conversely, the non-dairy protein was less consumed than other counterparts, which occupied 10% of a British household’s budget, compared to higher percentage in Australia (13%) and China (18%).
In addition, a conventional family in China and Australia paid out approximately 23% of their money for fat-sugar food and beverages, being equal to fruits and vegetables, while the expenditure for those in the UK accounted for 13%. The proportions of starchy food spending of the average household in Britain and China were higher than that of milk and dairy products, which constituted 17% and 12%, respectively. By contrast, in Australia, around 22% of the total family’s budget was dedicated to milk and dairy, compared to only a mere 13% spent on starchy food.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Overall, it is obvious that" -> "It is evident that"
Explanation: Replacing "it is obvious that" with "it is evident that" refines the tone to a more formal academic style, avoiding the slightly colloquial connotation of "obvious."
"spent most of their money on" -> "allocated the majority of their expenditure to"
Explanation: "Allocated the majority of their expenditure to" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing, compared to the more casual "spent most of their money on."
"tiny majority" -> "small majority"
Explanation: "Tiny" can be seen as too informal and vague in an academic context. "Small" is more precise and maintains the intended meaning.
"paid for" -> "allocated" or "devoted"
Explanation: "Allocated" or "devoted" are more formal alternatives to "paid for," which enhances the academic tone of the sentence.
"a family in the US" -> "American households"
Explanation: "American households" is more specific and formal than "a family in the US," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"allocated over a third" -> "devoted more than a third"
Explanation: "Devoted" is more specific in this context, indicating a deliberate allocation of funds, which is more precise than "allocated."
"less consumed" -> "consumed in lesser quantities"
Explanation: "Consumed in lesser quantities" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea of reduced consumption.
"occupied 10% of a British household’s budget" -> "accounted for 10% of the British household’s budget"
Explanation: "Accounted for" is a more formal term than "occupied," which is less commonly used in this context.
"conventional family" -> "typical household"
Explanation: "Typical household" is more precise and commonly used in academic writing than "conventional family," which can be seen as informal.
"paid out" -> "allocated"
Explanation: "Allocated" is more formal and precise than "paid out," which is somewhat colloquial.
"fat-sugar food and beverages" -> "high-fat and high-sugar food and beverages"
Explanation: Adding "high-" before "fat" and "sugar" clarifies the type of food and beverages, making the description more specific and appropriate for an academic context.
"being equal to" -> "comparable to"
Explanation: "Comparable to" is more formal and academically appropriate than "being equal to," which can imply exact equivalence, which may not be the intended meaning.
"only a mere 13% spent" -> "only 13% was spent"
Explanation: Removing "mere" and using "was spent" instead of "spent" corrects the grammatical structure and removes an informal adjective.

These changes enhance the formal and academic tone of the essay, improving precision and clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the data, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay presents some key features and bullet points, but it does not adequately highlight all of them. For example, the essay does not mention that the UK spends the most on milk and dairy products, and it does not mention that China spends the least on fruits and vegetables.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more comprehensive overview of the data. The essay should also highlight all of the key features and bullet points, and it should provide more specific details about the data. For example, the essay could mention that the UK spends 31% of its budget on fruits and vegetables, while China spends only 23%. The essay could also mention that the UK spends 17% of its budget on milk and dairy products, while Australia spends 22%.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, with clear progression throughout. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data presented in the charts, such as expenditure on fruits and vegetables, starchy foods, non-dairy protein, fat-sugar foods, and milk and dairy products. The introduction and conclusion provide an overview of the main trends observed across the three countries.

The essay uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, aiding in the overall coherence. For instance, cohesive devices like "Overall," "In addition," "Conversely," and "By contrast" are effectively used to connect ideas and paragraphs. There is also clear paragraphing, with each paragraph dedicated to discussing a distinct category of food expenditure or comparison between countries.

Although there are minor instances where cohesion could be strengthened further (e.g., some transitions could be smoother), the overall cohesion does not detract from the clarity of the essay’s structure and progression of ideas.

How to improve:
To potentially improve to a higher band, consider ensuring that all transitions between paragraphs are seamless and that cohesive devices are consistently used throughout to maintain a smooth flow of ideas. Additionally, aim to vary sentence structures further to enhance cohesion within and between sentences.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.5

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary and some awareness of style and collocation. For instance, phrases like "allocated over a third," "tiny majority," and "conventional family" show attempts at varied lexical choices. However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and some awkward collocations, such as "a tiny majority of a family’s budget" which could be better phrased. Additionally, there are some errors in word formation and spelling (e.g., "delineate" instead of "depict," "fat-sugar food" instead of "fatty foods or sugary beverages").

How to improve:
To improve to a Band 7, focus on refining the accuracy of less common vocabulary usage and ensuring precise word choice and collocation. Pay attention to spelling and word formation to minimize errors that might affect clarity and fluency. Additionally, aim for a smoother flow in expression by using more natural phrasing where possible.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.5

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. It effectively conveys the information with generally good control of grammar and punctuation. There are some errors and awkward phrasings that occasionally affect clarity but do not significantly hinder communication. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures but lacks consistency in accuracy throughout.

How to improve:
To improve to a higher band score, focus on refining complex sentence structures for accuracy and clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Ensure that each sentence contributes clearly to the overall coherence of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Certainly! Here’s an improved version of the IELTS Task 1 report, focusing on refining grammar, structure, and vocabulary while preserving the original data points and style:

The provided pie charts depict the distribution of expenditure percentages across five categories of food and beverages within average households across three distinct nations in the year 2012.

Overall, it is evident that households in the UK and Australia allocated the majority of their budgets to fruits and vegetables, whereas starchy foods constituted the largest proportion of spending in Chinese households. Additionally, non-dairy protein accounted for a minimal portion of household budgets in most countries, except for China.

In 2012, households in the US spent over a third of their total budget on fruits and vegetables, whereas this category represented approximately 24% and 23% of total spending in Australian and Chinese households, respectively. Conversely, expenditure on non-dairy protein was comparatively lower, comprising 10% of household budgets in the UK, while in Australia and China, this figure stood at 13% and 18%, respectively.

Furthermore, both Chinese and Australian households spent around 23% of their budgets on fats, sugars, and beverages, which equaled their expenditure on fruits and vegetables. In contrast, households in the UK allocated only 13% of their total budget to this category. The proportion of expenditure on starchy foods in British and Chinese households exceeded that on milk and dairy products, which accounted for 17% and 12% respectively. Conversely, in Australia, approximately 22% of household expenditure was dedicated to milk and dairy products, while starchy foods constituted only 13% of the budget.

This revision maintains the original data and overall structure while refining the clarity and coherence of the report. It ensures adherence to IELTS Task 1 standards with improved grammar and vocabulary usage.