The charts below show the number of people in Europe who were affected by four types of noise by day and by night in rural and urban areas in 2007.

The charts illustrate how different types of noise impact people in urban and rural areas in Europe by day and by night in 2007.
Overall, while residents in both areas are mostly affected by traffic noise, industry exerted the least significant influence. It is also notable that the noise in daytime had a greater impact on people compared to nighttime.
With respect to the noise levels of traffic and train, dwellers in cities were seen to be influenced the most by noise of traffic, with 64 millions in the day and 48 millions in the night, which was roughly twice as many as the figure for those living in the countryside. Considering the data for citizens affected by noise from train, it witnessed no remarkable differences between the two places, hovering around 6-10 millions.
With regard to the noise from aircraft and industry, the number of residents in cities affected by aircraft noise in daytime was 4 millions, which doubled that of the countryside at the same time; meanwhile, the figure for such noise in night time was similar in the two areas. Industry noise had little effect on people in urban areas, at 1 million in the day and 0.25 million in the night; conversely, no impact of this type of noise was seen on those living in the countryside.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The charts illustrate" -> "The graphs depict"
Explanation: "Depict" is more precise and academically appropriate than "illustrate" in the context of presenting data in visual forms like charts.
"different types of noise" -> "various types of noise"
Explanation: "Various" is a more formal and precise term than "different" when referring to multiple categories or types.
"impact people" -> "affect individuals"
Explanation: "Affect" is the correct term for describing how external factors influence people, whereas "impact" is often used for more tangible effects.
"in urban and rural areas" -> "in urban and rural regions"
Explanation: "Regions" is a more formal term than "areas" in academic writing, particularly when discussing geographical locations.
"exerted the least significant influence" -> "had the least significant impact"
Explanation: "Had" is more commonly used in academic texts to describe the effect of something, making it more natural and precise in this context.
"It is also notable that" -> "It is also worth noting that"
Explanation: "Worth noting" is a more formal expression commonly used in academic writing to introduce additional observations or findings.
"the noise in daytime" -> "daytime noise"
Explanation: "Daytime noise" is a more concise and formal way to refer to the noise levels during the daytime.
"roughly twice as many" -> "approximately twice as many"
Explanation: "Approximately" is more precise and academically appropriate than "roughly" when describing quantitative differences.
"it witnessed no remarkable differences" -> "it showed no significant differences"
Explanation: "Showed" is a more formal verb than "witnessed" in this context, and "significant" is more precise than "remarkable" in academic writing.
"hovering around" -> "ranging from"
Explanation: "Ranging from" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic descriptions of data variation.
"the number of residents in cities affected by aircraft noise" -> "the number of urban residents affected by aircraft noise"
Explanation: "Urban residents" is a more specific and formal term than "residents in cities."
"similar in the two areas" -> "similar in both areas"
Explanation: "Both" is more formal and inclusive than "the two," which can imply a binary opposition rather than similarity.
"little effect" -> "minimal impact"
Explanation: "Minimal impact" is a more precise and formal expression than "little effect" in academic writing.
"no impact of this type of noise" -> "no influence of this type of noise"
Explanation: "Influence" is more specific and appropriate in this context, as it directly relates to the effect on people.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay covers the requirements of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends. The essay highlights the key features of the charts, such as the fact that traffic noise is the most significant type of noise in both urban and rural areas. However, the essay could be more fully extended by providing more detailed comparisons between the data for urban and rural areas.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed comparisons between the data for urban and rural areas. For example, the essay could state that the number of people affected by traffic noise in urban areas is more than twice as high as the number of people affected by traffic noise in rural areas. The essay could also provide more specific details about the differences in noise levels between day and night. For example, the essay could state that the number of people affected by aircraft noise in urban areas is twice as high during the day as it is during the night.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, with an overall progression from introducing the topic to discussing specific details. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices effectively, such as using pronouns and transitions like "overall," "with respect to," and "considering." However, cohesion within and between sentences could be more consistent; for instance, some sentences could be more clearly linked to each other. Paragraphing is used, but there are instances where the logical flow within paragraphs could be improved, especially between the second and third paragraphs. The essay presents a clear central topic within each paragraph, focusing on different types of noise and their impacts on urban and rural areas in Europe in 2007.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion:

Ensure each sentence flows logically from the previous one, using cohesive devices consistently.
Use more varied cohesive devices beyond pronouns, such as conjunctions (e.g., "however," "meanwhile") to establish clearer relationships between ideas.
Review and refine paragraph structure to ensure each paragraph discusses a single main idea with clear progression and logical transitions between paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task. It effectively describes the charts and provides clear comparisons between urban and rural noise impacts. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary such as "exerted," "dweller," and "hovering," although some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation are noticeable (e.g., "witnessed no remarkable differences" could be more precise). There are also a few errors in word formation and spelling (e.g., "million" instead of "millions" in some instances).

How to improve:
To improve, the essay could benefit from a wider variety of vocabulary that includes more sophisticated and precise terms. Paying closer attention to word choice and collocation will help avoid minor inaccuracies. Additionally, proofreading for spelling and word formation errors will enhance clarity and fluency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.5

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, covering a range of noise impacts on urban and rural populations in Europe. There is an attempt to use complex structures such as comparisons and conditional sentences ("while…", "It is also notable that…"), though these are sometimes awkwardly expressed. Grammar and punctuation generally facilitate communication but there are noticeable errors that occasionally hinder clarity. For instance, there are issues with tense consistency ("considering the data… it witnessed no remarkable differences") and some inaccuracies in preposition usage ("at 1 million in the day").

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy score to a Band 7, focus on refining sentence structures further. Ensure that complex structures are used accurately and seamlessly. Pay close attention to verb tenses, especially when describing trends or historical data. Additionally, strive for precision in preposition usage to enhance clarity and coherence. Practicing proofreading and revising for grammar and punctuation errors will also help achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided report outlines the impact of various types of noise on residents in urban and rural areas of Europe during both day and night in 2007. Here is an improved version of the essay:

The charts depict the influence of different noise sources on people residing in urban and rural parts of Europe during daytime and nighttime in 2007.

Overall, traffic noise had the greatest impact on residents in both urban and rural areas, while industrial noise had the least significant effect. It is noteworthy that daytime noise levels had a more pronounced effect on people compared to nighttime.

Regarding traffic and train noise levels, urban residents were significantly more affected by traffic noise, with approximately 64 million during the day and 48 million at night, which is roughly double the figures for rural residents. Train noise affected between 6 to 10 million people in both urban and rural areas, showing no significant variation between the two.

As for aircraft and industrial noise, urban areas experienced higher daytime aircraft noise impact at 4 million residents, which was twice that in rural areas. Nighttime aircraft noise impacts were comparable in both urban and rural settings. Industrial noise affected only a minimal number of urban residents, with 1 million during the day and 0.25 million at night, whereas rural residents experienced negligible impact from industrial noise.

This revised essay maintains the original structure and data points while ensuring clarity and accuracy in language use. The vocabulary and sentence structures have been refined to enhance readability and coherence, adhering closely to IELTS writing standards.