The charts below show the percentage of food and goods bought from supermarkets in European countries in 1998 and 2008.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of food and goods bought from supermarkets in
European countries in 1998 and 2008.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the
main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart reveals statistics about the proportion of good and other items purchased from supermarkets in three European nations over the period of ten years, starting from 1998.
Looking from an overall perspective, it is clear that there were upward trends in both percentage of food and goods in three given countries during the given period, despite varying extents. Specifically, supermarkets were most prevalent among consumers in country A, while country B displayed the lowest level of supermarket reliance.
Starting with the amount of food sold in supermarkets, according to the chart, over the past 10 years, since 1998, the number of consumers for this product in all 3 countries has increased. Among them, the largest percentage of food consumed in the initial period is country B, at roughly 23%, followed by country A with 10% and country C with about 6%. However, in 2008 there was a slight change, the percentage of food sold in nation A climbed dramatically, reaching 35% and taking first place. Next, country B increased by about 4% over the first year, at 27%, and the last place was country C with an insignificant increase, at 9%.
Turning to the percentage of other items bought in supermarkets, It seems that in 1998 most consumers in nation B liked to use the product, reaching nearly 25% and winning the first place. The goods are not very popular with people in country A and country C, only reaching 4% and 1% respectively, this is probably an extremely small number. But surprisingly, in 2008 the consumer share of this product in this country did not increase as sharply as the other two countries, at about 26%. In country A, there was a spectacular change, increasing 9 times compared to the initial time, at around 36%. In the remaining country C, the number of people choosing to use goods also growth a lot, at approximately 15%.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The bar chart reveals statistics" -> "The bar chart illustrates statistics"
Explanation: "Illustrates" is a more precise and formal verb than "reveals," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic contexts to describe presenting data.
"proportion of good and other items" -> "proportion of goods and other items"
Explanation: "Goods" is the correct plural form when referring to products or merchandise, whereas "good" is a singular noun.
"upward trends" -> "increasing trends"
Explanation: "Increasing trends" is a more specific and academically appropriate term than "upward trends," which is somewhat informal and less precise.
"varying extents" -> "varying degrees"
Explanation: "Degrees" is a more precise term than "extents" in this context, as it specifically refers to the level or amount of change.
"supermarkets were most prevalent among consumers" -> "supermarkets were the most widely used by consumers"
Explanation: "The most widely used" is a more precise and formal expression than "most prevalent," which can be vague and less specific.
"displayed the lowest level of supermarket reliance" -> "exhibited the lowest level of supermarket usage"
Explanation: "Exhibited" is more formal and suitable for academic writing than "displayed," and "usage" is a more precise term than "reliance" in this context.
"Starting with the amount of food sold" -> "Beginning with the sales of food"
Explanation: "Beginning with the sales of food" is a more formal and concise way to introduce the discussion of food sales.
"the largest percentage of food consumed" -> "the highest percentage of food consumption"
Explanation: "Highest percentage of food consumption" is more grammatically correct and formal than "largest percentage of food consumed."
"the number of consumers for this product" -> "the consumption of this product"
Explanation: "The consumption of this product" is more direct and formal, avoiding the awkward phrasing of "the number of consumers for this product."
"climbed dramatically" -> "increased significantly"
Explanation: "Increased significantly" is a more formal and precise term than "climbed dramatically," which is somewhat colloquial.
"It seems that" -> "It appears that"
Explanation: "It appears that" is a more formal transitional phrase suitable for academic writing than "It seems that."
"not very popular with people" -> "not highly favored by consumers"
Explanation: "Not highly favored by consumers" is a more formal and precise way to express lack of popularity in an academic context.
"extremely small number" -> "minimal number"
Explanation: "Minimal" is a more precise and formal term than "extremely small," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"the consumer share of this product" -> "the consumer preference for this product"
Explanation: "Consumer preference" is a more specific term than "consumer share," which is less commonly used in this context.
"growth a lot" -> "increased significantly"
Explanation: "Increased significantly" is a more formal and precise way to describe change, avoiding the informal and vague "growth a lot."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the charts, but the information is not always presented in a clear and concise way. For example, the essay states that "the number of consumers for this product in all 3 countries has increased" but does not provide any specific data to support this claim. The essay also includes some irrelevant details, such as the statement that "the goods are not very popular with people in country A and country C, only reaching 4% and 1% respectively, this is probably an extremely small number." This statement is not relevant to the task, which is to summarise the information in the charts.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific data to support the overview. The essay could also be made more concise by removing irrelevant details. For example, the essay could be shortened by removing the sentence "the goods are not very popular with people in country A and country C, only reaching 4% and 1% respectively, this is probably an extremely small number." The essay could also be improved by using more precise language. For example, instead of saying "the number of consumers for this product in all 3 countries has increased," the essay could say "the percentage of food bought from supermarkets increased in all three countries."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs. However, while there is a logical arrangement of ideas, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, leading to occasional awkward phrasing and a lack of fluidity in transitions. The referencing is not always clear, particularly in the way countries are introduced and compared. Paragraphing is present but could be improved for better clarity and organization.

How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more effectively, ensuring that transitions between ideas are smooth and logical. Additionally, improving the clarity of referencing (e.g., consistently naming countries or using clear pronouns) would help the reader follow the argument more easily. Finally, organizing information into well-defined paragraphs with clear topic sentences would strengthen the overall structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, with some attempts to use less common lexical items. However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the proportion of good and other items" (should be "goods") and "the goods are not very popular" (which could be phrased more naturally). Additionally, there are some spelling and grammatical errors, such as "the last place was country C with an insignificant increase" (which could be clearer). These errors do not severely impede communication, but they do detract from the overall effectiveness of the lexical resource.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and ensuring precise word choice, particularly with less common items. Additionally, practicing correct collocations and reducing spelling errors would improve clarity. Engaging with a wider range of texts can also help in developing a more sophisticated vocabulary and understanding of nuanced meanings.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While there are some attempts at complex structures, they are not consistently accurate, and errors in grammar and punctuation are present. For instance, phrases like "the percentage of food sold in nation A climbed dramatically" could be clearer with improved structure. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing and punctuation issues, such as "the number of consumers for this product in all 3 countries has increased," which could be more fluid. However, these errors do not significantly impede communication, allowing the main ideas to be conveyed.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, focus on the following areas:

Enhance Sentence Variety: Incorporate a broader range of complex sentence structures while ensuring accuracy.
Minimize Errors: Proofread for grammatical and punctuation errors to produce more error-free sentences.
Clarity and Cohesion: Work on improving the clarity of ideas and the flow of information to make comparisons more explicit and logically structured.
Use of Vocabulary: Expand vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition, which can enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart reveals statistics about the proportion of food and other items purchased from supermarkets in three European nations over a ten-year period, starting from 1998.

Looking from an overall perspective, it is clear that there were upward trends in both the percentage of food and goods in the three given countries during this period, despite varying extents. Specifically, supermarkets were most prevalent among consumers in country A, while country B displayed the lowest level of supermarket reliance.

Starting with the amount of food sold in supermarkets, according to the chart, over the past ten years, since 1998, the number of consumers for this product in all three countries has increased. Among them, the largest percentage of food consumed in the initial period was in country B, at roughly 23%, followed by country A with 10% and country C with about 6%. However, by 2008, there was a notable change; the percentage of food sold in country A climbed dramatically, reaching 35% and taking first place. Next, country B increased by about 4% over the same period, reaching 27%, while country C remained in last place with an insignificant increase to 9%.

Turning to the percentage of other items bought in supermarkets, it seems that in 1998 most consumers in country B preferred these products, reaching nearly 25% and securing first place. The goods were not very popular among people in country A and country C, only reaching 4% and 1% respectively, which is an extremely small number. Surprisingly, in 2008, the consumer share of these products in country B did not increase as sharply as in the other two countries, remaining at about 26%. In country A, there was a spectacular change, increasing ninefold compared to the initial period, reaching around 36%. In the remaining country C, the number of people choosing to purchase these goods also grew significantly, reaching approximately 15%.