The charts below show the protein and calorie intakes of people in different parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the protein and calorie intakes of people in different parts of the world.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts demonstrate the data of the protein and calories which be intaked by people in five different parts of worls namely India,East Africa, Latin America and North America.
Overall, the first chart show us to the types of protein: animal protein and other protein and North and the second chart enables us to see the average calorie which be intakes by people in five cultural. The figure of North America is the highest in two charts and has large disparity against India which has the smallest data in two chart.
Regarding the chart about the average protein intake, North America leads in two types of protein consumption with aggregate 80 units, followed by the amount of protein using by Latin America with 45 units but other protein of this cultural is smallest. There is not marginal different in calorie intake between East Africa and India, they have the same in other calories intake and animal calories in take of East Africa is slightly larger than India with 16 versus 13.
Proportion the calorie consumption, 3000 calories per day is the ideal calories and there is only North America where has the average calories intake higher than it with about 3500 the highest data in second chart. Latin America is close to the idea data with about 2800 calories, followed by East Africa and India with about 2500 and 2000 calories per day.
In summary, North America leads with the highest calories and protein intakes while India has the lowest figure in both informations. Protein and calorie intake has reglected the eating habit in five differents parts of world.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The charts demonstrate the data of the protein and calories which be intaked by people" -> "The charts illustrate the data on protein and calorie intake by individuals"
Explanation: "Illustrate" is more precise than "demonstrate" in this context, and "data on protein and calorie intake by individuals" is more formal and accurate than "the data of the protein and calories which be intaked by people."
"worls" -> "world"
Explanation: Corrects a typographical error, ensuring the proper spelling of "world."
"the first chart show us to the types of protein" -> "the first chart illustrates the types of protein"
Explanation: "Illustrates" is more appropriate than "show us to," which is awkward and incorrect. It also corrects the verb tense to match the passive voice used in the sentence.
"the average calorie which be intakes by people" -> "the average calorie intake by individuals"
Explanation: "Calorie intake by individuals" is grammatically correct and more formal than "the average calorie which be intakes by people."
"five cultural" -> "five cultures"
Explanation: Corrects a grammatical error by replacing "cultural" with the plural form "cultures," which is the correct noun form.
"has large disparity against India" -> "exhibits a significant disparity compared to India"
Explanation: "Exhibits a significant disparity compared to" is more formal and precise than "has large disparity against," which is somewhat colloquial.
"other protein of this cultural" -> "other protein in this culture"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error by replacing "of this cultural" with "in this culture," which is the correct prepositional phrase.
"There is not marginal different" -> "There is no marginal difference"
Explanation: Corrects a grammatical error by replacing "different" with "difference," which is the correct noun form.
"in other calories intake" -> "in calorie intake"
Explanation: "Calorie intake" is the correct term, and "other" is unnecessary and awkward in this context.
"Proportion the calorie consumption" -> "Comparing calorie consumption"
Explanation: "Comparing" is the correct verb for describing the comparison of data, replacing the incorrect and awkward "Proportion."
"has the average calories intake higher than it" -> "exceeds the recommended average calorie intake"
Explanation: "Exceeds the recommended average calorie intake" is more precise and formal than "has the average calories intake higher than it," which is awkward and unclear.
"the highest data in second chart" -> "the highest data in the second chart"
Explanation: Adds the definite article "the" to correct the grammatical structure.
"has reglected the eating habit" -> "reflects the eating habits"
Explanation: "Reflects" is the correct verb for describing how data represents information, and "eating habits" is the correct plural form.
"five differents parts of world" -> "five different parts of the world"
Explanation: Corrects the typographical error "differents" to "different" and adds the definite article "the" for grammatical correctness.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by providing an overview of the main features of the charts. However, the overview is not clear and the essay recounts details mechanically with no clear overview. The essay also presents key features/bullet points but inadequately covers them. For example, the essay states that "North America leads in two types of protein consumption with aggregate 80 units" but does not provide any specific details about the types of protein.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main features of the charts. The essay should also provide more specific details about the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay could state that "North America has the highest intake of both animal and other protein, with a total of 80 units." The essay could also be improved by using more accurate language. For example, the essay states that "There is not marginal different in calorie intake between East Africa and India" but this is not accurate. The essay should state that "There is a small difference in calorie intake between East Africa and India."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents some organization of information regarding protein and calorie intakes across different regions, but it lacks clear overall progression and coherence. While it attempts to compare the data, the connections between ideas are not always logical or well-articulated. There is an inadequate use of cohesive devices, leading to some repetition and confusion. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some ideas not clearly separated into distinct paragraphs.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearly structuring the essay into well-defined paragraphs, each with a central topic. Improving the use of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, will help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, ensuring that comparisons are logically presented and that data is accurately referenced will strengthen the overall flow of the essay. Finally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will further improve the quality of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the main features of the charts, the vocabulary used is often repetitive and lacks precision. There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as "intaked" instead of "intake" and "cultural" instead of "culture." These errors, along with issues in spelling (e.g., "worl" instead of "world") and word formation, may cause some difficulty for the reader. The use of phrases like "the highest data" and "the smallest data" is also awkward and does not reflect a sophisticated command of lexical features.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range and using more precise and varied word choices. Practicing synonyms and less common lexical items related to the topic can help convey meanings more accurately. Additionally, paying attention to spelling and grammatical structures will improve overall clarity. Incorporating more complex sentence structures and avoiding repetitive phrases will also contribute to a higher score. Engaging with high-quality reading materials can expose the writer to a wider range of vocabulary and usage in context.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, with attempts at complex sentences that are often inaccurate. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly in verb forms and sentence construction, which can cause some difficulty for the reader. While the writer attempts to convey comparisons and summarize data, the clarity of communication is compromised by these errors. Punctuation is also faulty in several instances, which further detracts from the overall coherence of the essay.
How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following strategies:

Practice Complex Sentences: Work on constructing complex sentences correctly, ensuring that subordinate clauses are used accurately.
Review Verb Forms: Pay attention to verb forms and tenses to ensure they are used correctly throughout the essay.
Proofreading: Implement a proofreading stage to catch and correct grammatical and punctuation errors before submission.
Expand Vocabulary: Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more clearly and accurately, which can help in constructing more varied sentence structures.
Seek Feedback: Engage with peers or instructors for feedback on grammatical accuracy, which can provide insights into common errors and areas for improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

The charts demonstrate the data on protein and calorie intakes by people in five different parts of the world, namely India, East Africa, Latin America, and North America.

Overall, the first chart shows the types of protein: animal protein and other protein, while the second chart illustrates the average calorie intake of people in these regions. North America has the highest figures in both charts, exhibiting a significant disparity compared to India, which has the lowest data in both categories.

Regarding the chart about average protein intake, North America leads in both types of protein consumption with an aggregate of 80 units, followed by Latin America with 45 units; however, the amount of other protein in this region is the smallest. There is no marginal difference in calorie intake between East Africa and India; they have the same amount of other calorie intake, while the animal calorie intake in East Africa is slightly larger than in India, with 16 versus 13.

In terms of calorie consumption, 3,000 calories per day is considered the ideal intake, and only North America exceeds this figure, with an average intake of about 3,500 calories, the highest in the second chart. Latin America is close to the ideal figure with about 2,800 calories, followed by East Africa and India with approximately 2,500 and 2,000 calories per day, respectively.

In summary, North America leads with the highest protein and calorie intakes, while India has the lowest figures in both categories. Protein and calorie intake reflect the eating habits in five different parts of the world.