The development of tourism has contributed to an increased prominence of the English language over the other languages. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?
The development of tourism has contributed to an increased prominence of the English language over the other languages. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?
With the rapid growth of tourism, English gradually prevail other languages in the world. According to some people, it is believed that this could result in English being the mutal language of all nations. This essay will delve into its benefits and drawbacks of mankind speaking only one language.
On the one hand, this statement would bring us several advantages. One of the primary merits is its convenience for residents. As people do not have to learn international language, it could save their time and effort to do. For example, to master English skills for an Asian person, he or she has to spend numerous years studying it. But for that time, they could take it for a more useful work. The next positive point is that English could ease the communication between people. When businesses no longer need translators, it will be easier to exchange or discuss together. It also allows us to expand our circle of friends from different countries without any barriers.
On the other hand, speaking only English also imposes a detrimental disadvantage, which is called the loss of national identity. As far as I know, each language in every country symbolize different cultures and traditions. To illustrate, Vietnamese is one of the most proud intangible heritage of our residents due to its diversity and regionality. “Phong ba bão táp không bằng ngữ pháp Việt Nam” (translated into English: Vietnamese grammar could outweigh any disasters), our language could represent the distinctiveness of our ethnic groups, the cultures and meanings in it. Without different languages, national identity can not exist, which makes each nation become special.
In conclusion, although the English only could offer numerous benefits, it still deter each nation from being diverse, which is considered as a big shortcoming. Therefore, the world should strike the balance between maintaining different languages and striving the realm of travelling.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"English gradually prevail other languages" -> "English is gradually prevailing over other languages"
Explanation: The verb "prevail" should be in the present participle form "prevailing" to correctly indicate ongoing action, and "over" is the correct preposition to use in this context. -
"it is believed that this could result in English being the mutal language of all nations" -> "it is believed that this could lead to English becoming the universal language of all nations"
Explanation: "Mutal" is a typographical error and should be replaced with "mutual." Additionally, "becoming" is more precise than "being" in this context, and "universal" is more appropriate than "mutual" to describe a language used globally. -
"delve into its benefits and drawbacks of mankind speaking only one language" -> "examine the benefits and drawbacks of a single global language"
Explanation: "Delve into" is somewhat informal and vague; "examine" is more precise and formal. Also, "mankind" is somewhat archaic and less formal; "a single global language" is more specific and academically appropriate. -
"As people do not have to learn international language, it could save their time and effort to do" -> "As people do not need to learn an international language, it could save them time and effort"
Explanation: "International language" is redundant; "an international language" is more precise. Also, "to do" is unnecessary and informal; "them" is the correct pronoun to use. -
"he or she has to spend numerous years studying it" -> "they must spend numerous years studying it"
Explanation: Using "they" instead of "he or she" avoids gender specificity and is more inclusive and formal. -
"But for that time, they could take it for a more useful work" -> "But for that time, they could use it for more productive purposes"
Explanation: "Take it for a more useful work" is unclear and informal; "use it for more productive purposes" is clearer and more formal. -
"English could ease the communication between people" -> "English could facilitate communication among people"
Explanation: "Ease" is somewhat vague; "facilitate" is more precise and formal. "Among" is preferred over "between" for group interactions. -
"It also allows us to expand our circle of friends from different countries without any barriers" -> "It also enables us to expand our social circles across different countries without barriers"
Explanation: "Allows" is somewhat informal; "enables" is more formal. "Social circles" is a more precise term than "circle of friends," and "across" is more appropriate than "from" for describing geographical expansion. -
"speaking only English also imposes a detrimental disadvantage, which is called the loss of national identity" -> "speaking only English also poses a significant disadvantage, namely the loss of national identity"
Explanation: "Imposes" is less formal; "poses" is more appropriate in academic writing. "Namely" is a more formal way to introduce a specific example. -
"Vietnamese is one of the most proud intangible heritage of our residents" -> "Vietnamese is one of the most proud intangible heritages of our residents"
Explanation: "Heritage" should be plural to match "residents," as it refers to multiple aspects of cultural heritage. -
"Without different languages, national identity can not exist" -> "Without diverse languages, national identity cannot exist"
Explanation: "Can not" is informal; "cannot" is the correct contraction. "Diverse" is more precise than "different" in this context. -
"the English only could offer numerous benefits" -> "English alone could offer numerous benefits"
Explanation: "The English only" is awkward and unclear; "English alone" is more direct and formal. -
"it still deter each nation from being diverse" -> "it still hinders each nation from being diverse"
Explanation: "Deter" is incorrect in this context; "hinders" is the correct verb to use when discussing obstacles to diversity. -
"which is considered as a big shortcoming" -> "which is considered a significant shortcoming"
Explanation: "As" is unnecessary before "a big shortcoming"; "a significant shortcoming" is more formal and precise.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having one global language, specifically English. The advantages are presented clearly, such as convenience and ease of communication. However, the disadvantages are less thoroughly explored. The essay mentions the loss of national identity but could benefit from additional examples or elaboration on how this loss impacts societies.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each part of the question is fully explored. This could involve providing more detailed examples of both advantages and disadvantages, perhaps by discussing economic, cultural, or educational implications of a single global language.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument. However, the conclusion could be more decisive. While it states that there are benefits to having one language, it also emphasizes the importance of maintaining diversity, which could confuse the reader regarding the writer’s ultimate stance.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should explicitly state their position in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion. A more definitive statement about whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa would strengthen the overall argument.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented in a structured manner, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. However, the support for these ideas is sometimes lacking. For instance, while the essay mentions the convenience of a common language, it does not explore how this convenience could lead to economic benefits or improved international relations.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should provide more substantial examples and explanations. For instance, discussing specific scenarios where a common language has facilitated business or cultural exchange could provide stronger support for the claims made.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of having a single global language. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For example, the phrase "striving the realm of travelling" in the conclusion is somewhat vague and does not directly relate to the advantages or disadvantages discussed.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central question. Avoiding vague language and ensuring that each sentence contributes to the overall argument will help keep the essay on track. Additionally, revising the conclusion to more clearly summarize the main points would reinforce the essay’s relevance to the prompt.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing advantages to disadvantages is somewhat abrupt, which may confuse readers. The introduction states the essay will delve into both sides, but the connection between the points could be more explicitly stated.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that clearly indicate shifts in perspective, such as "Conversely," or "In contrast," when moving from advantages to disadvantages. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, which will guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the second paragraph could be split into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the convenience of a single language and the other on the ease of communication. This would allow for a more detailed exploration of each point.
- How to improve: Implementing clearer paragraph divisions can enhance readability. Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant examples and explanations. For example, after discussing the convenience of not learning a second language, a new paragraph could start with a topic sentence about the benefits of easier communication, followed by supporting details.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some sentences lack clear connections. For instance, the phrase "which is called the loss of national identity" could be better integrated into the flow of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," and "Consequently," to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity. For example, instead of "which is called," consider rephrasing to "This phenomenon leads to…" to create a more fluid connection between ideas.
By addressing these areas, the essay can improve its coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "convenience," "detrimental," "national identity," and "intangible heritage." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the phrase "one language" is used multiple times without variation, which detracts from the overall lexical richness. Additionally, phrases like "the next positive point" could be expressed with more varied vocabulary, such as "another advantage" or "a further benefit."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "advantages," they could use "benefits," "pros," or "gains." Engaging with more complex vocabulary related to the topic, such as "linguistic diversity," "cultural homogenization," or "global communication," would also enrich the essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, "prevail" should be "prevails" to match the subject "English," and "mutal" should be "mutual." The phrase "to do" at the end of the sentence is vague and does not clearly convey the intended meaning. Additionally, the expression "detrimental disadvantage" is redundant, as "detrimental" already implies a negative impact.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. Proofreading for grammatical accuracy and ensuring that each word serves a clear purpose in the context of the sentence will help. For example, replacing "to do" with "to pursue more beneficial activities" would clarify the sentence’s intent.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "prevail" (should be "prevails"), "mutal" (should be "mutual"), and "symbolize" (should be "symbolizes"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should adopt a systematic approach to proofreading. Reading the essay aloud can help catch errors, as can using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can aid in reducing spelling mistakes in future essays.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of lexical resource, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their overall score in this criterion.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "As far as I know, each language in every country symbolize different cultures and traditions" shows an attempt to convey nuanced ideas. However, there are instances of simpler sentence constructions that could be enhanced. For example, "One of the primary merits is its convenience for residents" could be expanded with additional clauses to create more complex structures.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound and complex sentences. For example, instead of saying, "English could ease the communication between people," you could say, "Not only does English ease communication between people, but it also fosters a greater understanding of diverse cultures." This approach not only adds variety but also enhances the depth of your arguments.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, "English gradually prevail other languages" should be "English gradually prevails over other languages." Additionally, the phrase "it could save their time and effort to do" is awkwardly constructed and could be clearer. Punctuation is also inconsistent; for example, the use of commas in complex sentences is sometimes missing, which can lead to confusion.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and the correct use of prepositions. For punctuation, ensure that commas are used to separate clauses appropriately. For example, in the sentence "When businesses no longer need translators, it will be easier to exchange or discuss together," consider revising it to "When businesses no longer need translators, communication will become easier, allowing for more effective exchanges and discussions." This not only corrects the punctuation but also improves clarity.
By focusing on these areas for improvement, you can enhance the overall quality of your writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.
Bài sửa mẫu
With the rapid growth of tourism, English is gradually prevailing over other languages in the world. According to some people, it is believed that this could lead to English becoming the universal language of all nations. This essay will examine the benefits and drawbacks of mankind speaking only one language.
On the one hand, this situation would bring several advantages. One of the primary merits is the convenience it offers to residents. As people do not need to learn an international language, it could save them time and effort. For example, to master English skills, an Asian person may have to spend numerous years studying it. But during that time, they could focus on more productive pursuits. Another positive aspect is that English could facilitate communication among people. When businesses no longer require translators, it will be easier to exchange ideas and discuss matters collaboratively. Additionally, it enables us to expand our social circles across different countries without barriers.
On the other hand, speaking only English also poses a significant disadvantage, namely the loss of national identity. Each language in every country symbolizes different cultures and traditions. For instance, Vietnamese is one of the most proud intangible heritages of our residents due to its diversity and regional nuances. “Phong ba bão táp không bằng ngữ pháp Việt Nam” (translated into English: Vietnamese grammar could outweigh any disasters) illustrates how our language represents the distinctiveness of our ethnic groups, as well as the cultures and meanings embedded within it. Without diverse languages, national identity cannot exist, which makes each nation unique.
In conclusion, although English alone could offer numerous benefits, it still hinders each nation from being diverse, which is considered a significant shortcoming. Therefore, the world should strive to maintain a balance between preserving different languages and promoting global communication.