The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagrams provide information about the production process of a biofuel called ethanol.
Overall, there are eight steps involved in the ethanol production process, starting with plants absorbing energy from sunlight and carbon dioxide and ending with vehicles releasing CO2 back into the atmosphere.
First, plants were grown as a means to capture solar energy and carbon dioxide from the environment through photosynthesis. After a certain period of time, these plants are harvested and go through a pre-processing stage where they are broken into small pieces and then converted into cellulose. The next step involves further processing so that the sugar molecules can be extracted, followed by the addition of bacteria in the final processing.
From here, ethanol is synthesized and used as fuel for vehicles such as cars, trucks or planes, which emit carbon dioxide as a byproduct. The emissions then remain in the air until reabsorbed by plants, starting the cycle again.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"The diagrams provide information about the production process of a biofuel called ethanol." -> "The diagrams illustrate the production process of ethanol, a biofuel."
Explanation: "Illustrate" is more precise than "provide information about," and placing "a biofuel" after "ethanol" clarifies the nature of the substance being discussed, enhancing the sentence’s clarity and formality. -
"Overall, there are eight steps involved in the ethanol production process, starting with plants absorbing energy from sunlight and carbon dioxide and ending with vehicles releasing CO2 back into the atmosphere." -> "The ethanol production process comprises eight stages, beginning with plant photosynthesis, which absorbs energy from sunlight and carbon dioxide, and concluding with vehicle emissions of CO2 back into the atmosphere."
Explanation: "Comprises" is a more formal term than "involved," and specifying "photosynthesis" instead of "plants absorbing energy" provides a more precise description of the process. Additionally, rephrasing the conclusion to "concluding with vehicle emissions" improves the flow and maintains a formal tone. -
"plants were grown as a means to capture solar energy and carbon dioxide from the environment through photosynthesis." -> "plants were cultivated to harness solar energy and carbon dioxide from the environment through photosynthesis."
Explanation: "Cultivated" is more precise and formal than "grown," and "to harness" is a more academic way of expressing the purpose of plant cultivation. -
"After a certain period of time, these plants are harvested and go through a pre-processing stage where they are broken into small pieces and then converted into cellulose." -> "After a specified period, these plants are harvested and undergo a pre-processing stage, during which they are reduced to small pieces and converted into cellulose."
Explanation: "Undergo" is more formal than "go through," and specifying "reduced to small pieces" instead of "broken into small pieces" uses more precise language suitable for an academic context. -
"The next step involves further processing so that the sugar molecules can be extracted, followed by the addition of bacteria in the final processing." -> "The subsequent step involves further processing to extract sugar molecules, followed by the addition of bacteria in the final processing stage."
Explanation: "Subsequent step" is more formal than "next step," and "processing stage" is a more precise term than "processing." -
"ethanol is synthesized and used as fuel for vehicles such as cars, trucks or planes, which emit carbon dioxide as a byproduct." -> "Ethanol is synthesized and utilized as a fuel for vehicles such as cars, trucks, and planes, which emit carbon dioxide as a byproduct."
Explanation: "Utilized" is more formal than "used," and specifying "cars, trucks, and planes" with commas enhances readability and formality. -
"The emissions then remain in the air until reabsorbed by plants, starting the cycle again." -> "The emissions then remain in the air until they are reabsorbed by plants, thereby restarting the cycle."
Explanation: "Thereby restarting the cycle" is more formal and precise than "starting the cycle again," aligning better with academic style.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by providing a summary of the ethanol production process. However, the essay does not present a clear overview of the process and focuses on details rather than key features. For example, the essay mentions that plants absorb energy from sunlight and carbon dioxide, but it does not explain how this energy is used to produce ethanol. Additionally, the essay does not make any comparisons between different stages of the process.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the process and highlighting the key features. For example, the essay could start by explaining that ethanol is produced from plants through a series of steps, and then go on to describe each step in detail. The essay could also make comparisons between different stages of the process, such as the amount of energy required for each step.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, presenting a clear overall progression from the initial step of plant growth to the final step of CO2 emissions. However, while cohesive devices are used effectively, there are instances where cohesion between sentences could be improved, leading to a somewhat mechanical flow. The paragraphing is present but could be more logically structured to enhance clarity. For example, the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences that indicate the main idea of each paragraph.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can be done by using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is introduced at the beginning. Additionally, varying sentence structures and improving the clarity of references would contribute to a more sophisticated presentation of ideas.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task of describing the ethanol production process. It uses some less common vocabulary, such as "photosynthesis," "pre-processing," and "synthesized," which indicates an attempt to enhance lexical variety. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as "the emissions then remain in the air until reabsorbed by plants," which could be expressed more clearly. Additionally, while the vocabulary is generally appropriate, there are minor errors in word formation and some awkward phrasing that detracts from the overall clarity. These factors prevent the essay from achieving a higher band score.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary further, particularly with more sophisticated and precise terms related to the topic. It would be beneficial to practice using these terms in context to ensure accuracy in word choice and collocation. Additionally, reviewing and revising the essay for clarity and coherence, particularly in complex sentences, would help reduce awkward phrasing and improve overall communication. Lastly, checking for spelling and word formation errors before submission can also contribute to a higher score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with some effective use of grammatical structures. However, there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation, such as the inconsistent use of verb tenses and minor issues with sentence structure that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, the phrase "plants were grown as a means to capture" could be more clearly expressed in the present tense to maintain consistency. Overall, while the communication is generally clear, the errors present do affect the overall impression of grammatical accuracy.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:
- Consistency in Tense: Ensure that verb tenses are consistent throughout the essay to avoid confusion.
- Complex Sentence Structures: Incorporate more complex sentences with subordinate clauses to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.
- Punctuation: Pay attention to punctuation, particularly in longer sentences, to improve clarity and flow.
- Proofreading: Regularly review the essay for minor errors and slips that can be easily corrected to enhance overall accuracy.
Bài sửa mẫu
The diagrams provide information about the production process of a biofuel called ethanol. Overall, there are eight steps involved in the ethanol production process, starting with plants absorbing energy from sunlight and carbon dioxide and ending with vehicles releasing CO2 back into the atmosphere.
First, plants are grown to capture solar energy and carbon dioxide from the environment through photosynthesis. After a certain period, these plants are harvested and undergo a pre-processing stage where they are broken into small pieces and converted into cellulose. The next step involves further processing to extract the sugar molecules, followed by the addition of bacteria in the final processing stage.
From this point, ethanol is synthesized and used as fuel for vehicles such as cars, trucks, or planes, which emit carbon dioxide as a byproduct. The emissions then remain in the air until they are reabsorbed by plants, starting the cycle again.
Phản hồi