The diagram below shows how leather goods are produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how leather goods are produced.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make
comparisons where relevant.

Have you ever think how leather good manufactured . Let see at diagram below I will introduce to you process
At firts we need animal skin from many animal different. Then we must dried them. After accompish this section we have to transport this materials by truck or car to factory. In the factory materials was washing by water and lime. And continue soak another water. Next it was take in machine to flatten. They soak in Tanin (it about water and vegetable matter) and have been polishing in next step before transport next company to create the final product to we use.
Task 2
When we were a children, we always learnt everything we curious. They mimic action, emotion, talk to aldult. Aldult will guide to children learn. Enviroment good will make a condition to develop behave. We can easy see this case in reality. Parents are important in life. Because they take care and guide everything, so character of children will creat by them. Friend of them also impact on develop character.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Have you ever think how leather good manufactured." -> "Have you ever considered how leather goods are manufactured?"
Explanation: "Have you ever considered" is a more formal and appropriate phrase than "Have you ever think." Additionally, "manufactured" should be changed to "are manufactured" for grammatical correctness.
"Let see at diagram below I will introduce to you process." -> "Let’s look at the diagram below, where I will introduce you to the process."
Explanation: "Let’s" is a contraction of "let us," which is more formal than "let." "Diagram" should be preceded by "the" for specificity. "To you process" should be corrected to "to the process" for grammatical accuracy.
"At firts we need animal skin from many animal different." -> "Initially, we require animal skins from various animals."
Explanation: "At first" is corrected to "Initially" for a more formal tone. "Many animal different" should be changed to "various animals" for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"Then we must dried them." -> "Then we must dry them."
Explanation: "Dried" should be changed to "dry" to match the verb form required in this context.
"After accompish this section we have to transport this materials by truck or car to factory." -> "After completing this stage, we need to transport these materials by truck or car to the factory."
Explanation: "Accomplish" should be corrected to "completing" for proper verb tense usage. "This materials" should be corrected to "these materials" for grammatical accuracy. "To factory" should be changed to "to the factory" for specificity.
"In the factory materials was washing by water and lime." -> "In the factory, the materials are washed with water and lime."
Explanation: "Was washing" should be changed to "are washed" for proper verb tense usage.
"And continue soak another water." -> "They are then soaked in another water solution."
Explanation: "Continue soak" should be changed to "are then soaked." Additionally, "another water" should be corrected to "another water solution" for clarity.
"Next it was take in machine to flatten." -> "Next, they are placed in a machine to flatten."
Explanation: "It was take" should be corrected to "they are placed" for proper subject-verb agreement.
"They soak in Tanin (it about water and vegetable matter) and have been polishing in next step before transport next company to create the final product to we use." -> "They are soaked in tannin, which is a solution of water and vegetable matter, and then undergo polishing before being transported to the next company for the final product creation that we use."
Explanation: "Soak in Tanin" should be changed to "are soaked in tannin" for proper verb tense usage. "It about water and vegetable matter" should be corrected to "which is a solution of water and vegetable matter" for clarity. "Have been polishing" should be corrected to "undergo polishing" for proper tense and structure. "Next step before transport next company" should be rearranged to "before being transported to the next company" for clarity and proper grammar. "To create the final product to we use" should be changed to "for the final product that we use" for grammatical accuracy.
"When we were a children, we always learnt everything we curious." -> "When we were children, we were always eager to learn everything."
Explanation: "A children" should be changed to "children" for correct pluralization. "Learnt everything we curious" should be changed to "eager to learn everything" for clarity and proper grammar.
"They mimic action, emotion, talk to aldult." -> "They mimic actions, emotions, and engage in conversation with adults."
Explanation: "Mimic action" should be changed to "mimic actions" for proper pluralization. "Talk to aldult" should be changed to "engage in conversation with adults" for clarity and formality.
"Enviroment good will make a condition to develop behave." -> "A conducive environment fosters behavioral development."
Explanation: "Enviroment good" should be changed to "A conducive environment" for proper grammar. "Make a condition to develop behave" should be changed to "fosters behavioral development" for clarity and formality.
"We can easy see this case in reality." -> "We can easily observe this phenomenon in reality."
Explanation: "Easy" should be changed to "easily" for proper adverb usage. "See this case" should be changed to "observe this phenomenon" for clarity and formality.
"Because they take care and guide everything, so character of children will creat by them." -> "As they nurture and guide every aspect, parents significantly shape their children’s character."
Explanation: "Take care and guide everything" should be changed to "nurture and guide every aspect" for clarity and formality. "So character of children will creat by them" should be changed to "significantly shape their children’s character" for clarity and proper grammar.
"Friend of them also impact on develop character." -> "Their friends also have an impact on the development of character."
Explanation: "Friend of them" should be changed to "Their friends" for clarity and proper grammar. "Impact on develop character" should be changed to "have an impact on the development of character" for clarity and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 2

Band Score for Task Response: 2 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to summarize the process of leather goods production but lacks coherence and clarity. While it mentions some steps such as obtaining animal skin, drying, transporting to the factory, washing with water and lime, soaking, flattening, soaking in tannin, polishing, and transportation to the final company, the presentation is disjointed. There is a lack of organization and clarity in describing the process, and some steps are only vaguely mentioned.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should provide a clear and structured overview of the main features of the production process outlined in the diagram. Each step should be clearly described with sufficient detail to convey a comprehensive understanding. Additionally, ensuring coherence and logical flow between sentences and paragraphs will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear position or stance. It switches abruptly from discussing the leather production process to discussing childhood learning experiences without establishing a coherent connection between the two topics. This lack of a consistent position detracts from the overall clarity and focus of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position throughout the essay, it is important to establish a central thesis or argument and ensure that each paragraph supports and elaborates on this main idea. Additionally, transitions between ideas should be smooth and logical to guide the reader through the essay effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks depth and development. While it briefly mentions concepts such as childhood learning and the influence of parents and friends on character development, these ideas are not explored in sufficient detail. Examples or evidence to support these claims are also lacking, resulting in a superficial treatment of the topics.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and development of ideas, the essay should provide more detailed explanations and examples to support its arguments. Drawing upon personal experiences, relevant research findings, or real-life examples can add depth and credibility to the essay. Additionally, connecting ideas cohesively and logically will improve the overall coherence and effectiveness of the response.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses the topic but also deviates into discussing childhood learning experiences and the influence of parents and friends on character development. While these tangential topics may be relevant in certain contexts, they do not directly address the main focus of the prompt, which is to summarize the process of leather goods production depicted in the diagram.
- How to improve: To stay on topic, the essay should focus exclusively on summarizing the information presented in the diagram and making relevant comparisons where appropriate. Avoiding unrelated tangents and maintaining a clear connection to the main topic will ensure that the essay stays focused and relevant to the task at hand.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 4

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a coherent organization of information. It appears disjointed and lacks a clear structure. Sentences are fragmented, and the flow of ideas is interrupted, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument or narrative.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow and structure of the essay, start by introducing a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. Then, organize the body paragraphs with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the leather goods production process or the impact of childhood environment on character development. Ensure that there is a logical progression from one idea to the next, using transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks proper paragraphing, leading to a lack of clarity and coherence. Ideas are jumbled together within paragraphs, making it challenging for the reader to distinguish between different points.
- How to improve: Improve paragraph structure by breaking down the essay into distinct paragraphs, each addressing a single idea or aspect of the topic. Start a new paragraph for each main point or when transitioning to a new subtopic. This will improve readability and help the reader follow the development of ideas more effectively.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks cohesive devices, such as transitional words and phrases, which are essential for connecting ideas and creating coherence. As a result, the essay feels disjointed and lacks smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
- How to improve: Incorporate a variety of cohesive devices throughout the essay to improve coherence. Use transitional words and phrases such as "however," "furthermore," "in addition," and "on the other hand" to signal shifts between ideas and to create logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, consider using pronouns, conjunctions, and repetition to link ideas more effectively and create a cohesive narrative flow.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 9

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of vocabulary, albeit with some instances of imprecise usage and minor errors. For example, synonyms like "manufactured" and "produced" are used interchangeably, showcasing lexical flexibility. Additionally, varied vocabulary is employed to describe the stages of leather production, such as "transport," "washing," "flattening," "soaking," "polishing," and "creating the final product." However, there are occasional lapses in vocabulary choice, as seen in phrases like "dried them" instead of "dried it" or "dried the skins," which could have been more precise. Nevertheless, the candidate effectively employs a range of vocabulary to convey ideas.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, ensure consistent and precise usage of vocabulary throughout the essay. Revising sentences for clarity and accuracy can help avoid minor errors like using "them" instead of "it" for singular nouns. Additionally, incorporating more specific terminology related to leather production, such as "tanning" instead of "soaking in Tanin," would enrich the vocabulary and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with reasonable precision, accurately describing the stages of leather production and related concepts. For instance, terms like "washing," "lime," "soaking," and "polishing" effectively convey specific actions or processes involved in manufacturing leather goods. However, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "we need animal skin" instead of "animal skins," which could lead to ambiguity. Despite these minor lapses, the candidate demonstrates overall proficiency in using vocabulary precisely to communicate ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, focus on grammatical accuracy and specificity. Paying attention to noun-verb agreement, as in using "animal skins" instead of "animal skin," can improve clarity and eliminate ambiguity. Additionally, considering alternative or more technical terms where appropriate, such as "tanning" instead of "soaking in Tanin," would elevate the precision of vocabulary usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy, with most words spelled correctly. However, there are some noticeable spelling errors, such as "firts" instead of "first," "aldult" instead of "adult," and "enviroment" instead of "environment." While these errors do not significantly impede comprehension, they detract from the overall polish and professionalism of the essay. Attention to detail in spelling is crucial for achieving higher band scores.
- How to improve: Improving spelling accuracy requires consistent practice and attention to detail. Utilizing spell-checking tools and proofreading carefully before submission can help identify and correct spelling errors. Additionally, focusing on commonly misspelled words and reviewing spelling rules can enhance overall spelling proficiency. By prioritizing accuracy in spelling, candidates can present their ideas more effectively and elevate the quality of their writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, with a wide range of terms utilized to describe the process of leather production. While there are occasional lapses in vocabulary precision and spelling accuracy, these areas can be improved through attention to detail and targeted practice. With continued effort and refinement, the candidate has the potential to further enhance their lexical resource and achieve even higher band scores in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 3

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 3

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Mostly simple and compound sentences are used, with occasional complex structures. For instance, "Have you ever think how leather good manufactured" is a simple interrogative sentence, while "At firts we need animal skin from many animal different" is a simple declarative sentence. There is little variation in sentence length or complexity, resulting in a monotonous rhythm throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and variety of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences, relative clauses, and passive voice constructions. Varying sentence lengths and types can make the essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. For example, instead of always using simple subject-verb-object structures, try incorporating phrases like "In order to manufacture leather goods, a variety of animal skins are initially collected from different species" to introduce complexity and depth to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay suffers from significant grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies. For example, "Have you ever think" should be "Have you ever thought," "At firts" should be "At first," "animal different" should be "different animals," and "washing by water and lime" lacks proper parallel structure. Punctuation marks are frequently missing or misused, such as missing commas after introductory phrases ("At first," "Next," "When we were children") and incorrect usage of capitalization ("Tanin" should be "tannin"). These errors impede clarity and coherence, making it challenging for the reader to follow the writer’s ideas.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should focus on reviewing fundamental grammar rules, especially verb conjugation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Additionally, proofreading the essay carefully to identify and correct punctuation errors, such as missing commas, incorrect capitalization, and improper use of apostrophes, can significantly enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the writing. Utilizing grammar checkers and seeking feedback from peers or instructors can also be beneficial in identifying and addressing recurring grammatical issues.

Bài sửa mẫu

Have you ever considered how leather goods are manufactured? Let’s look at the diagram below, where I will introduce you to the process.

Initially, we require animal skins from various animals. Then we must dry them. After completing this stage, we need to transport these materials by truck or car to the factory. In the factory, the materials are washed with water and lime. They are then soaked in another water solution. Next, they are placed in a machine to flatten. They are soaked in tannin, which is a solution of water and vegetable matter, and then undergo polishing before being transported to the next company for the final product creation that we use.

When we were children, we were always eager to learn everything. They mimic actions, emotions, and engage in conversation with adults. A conducive environment fosters behavioral development. We can easily observe this phenomenon in reality. As they nurture and guide every aspect, parents significantly shape their children’s character. Their friends also have an impact on the development of character.