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The diagram below shows how recycled paper is made. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how recycled paper is made. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The process illustrates ways recycled paper is made.

Generally, there are four- phases in how recycled paper is made., Starting with making pulp, culminating with making paper.

Beginning with used paper in the phase of making pulp. Which are boxed inside, and then it is moved to water and chemicals step by conveyor belt. Following this, it is thrown in water and chemicals. Finished making the pulp stage. It is led to by a pipe in filtering phases, then it is filtered pass a basket, thereafter it goes through a boxes, and continues to experience a tube led to cleaning.

Continue with cleaning phases, which have a pipe from filtered, then ink and air led to inside this respectively. Thereafter the tube of water and soad led to bellow water and chemicals. It is watered and passes by the tube to making paper phases. It is an experienced conveyor belt. It is Undergo heated rollers and water bellow. Consequently, it is created products of recycled paper.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "four-phases" -> "four phases"
    Explanation: Hyphens are not needed when "four phases" is used as a compound noun without ambiguity.
  2. "culminating with making paper" -> "culminating in paper production"
    Explanation: "Culminating with making paper" lacks precision and fluency. "Culminating in paper production" provides a clearer description of the final stage.
  3. "Beginning with used paper in the phase of making pulp." -> "Commencing with the utilization of used paper to create pulp."
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and lacks clarity. "Commencing with the utilization of used paper to create pulp" offers a more precise and formal expression.
  4. "it is moved to water and chemicals step by conveyor belt." -> "it is conveyed into a mixture of water and chemicals."
    Explanation: The original phrase lacks specificity and clarity. "Conveyed into a mixture of water and chemicals" provides a clearer description of the process.
  5. "then it is thrown in water and chemicals." -> "then it is immersed in water and chemicals."
    Explanation: "Thrown in" suggests a careless action, while "immersed in" conveys a more controlled and deliberate process.
  6. "Finished making the pulp stage." -> "Completing the pulp-making stage."
    Explanation: "Finished making the pulp stage" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Completing the pulp-making stage" is a more concise and grammatically correct alternative.
  7. "It is led to by a pipe in filtering phases" -> "It is conveyed through a pipe during the filtration process."
    Explanation: The original phrase lacks clarity and precision. "Conveyed through a pipe during the filtration process" provides a clearer description of the action.
  8. "then it is filtered pass a basket" -> "then it is filtered through a basket"
    Explanation: "Filtered pass a basket" is grammatically incorrect. "Filtered through a basket" is the correct phrasing.
  9. "it goes through a boxes" -> "it passes through boxes"
    Explanation: "It goes through a boxes" contains a grammatical error. "It passes through boxes" is grammatically correct and clearer.
  10. "continues to experience a tube led to cleaning." -> "passes through a tube for further cleaning."
    Explanation: "Continues to experience a tube led to cleaning" is unclear and awkward. "Passes through a tube for further cleaning" is more precise and grammatically correct.
  11. "Continue with cleaning phases" -> "Proceed to the cleaning stage"
    Explanation: "Continue with cleaning phases" lacks clarity and precision. "Proceed to the cleaning stage" provides a clearer and more concise description.
  12. "which have a pipe from filtered" -> "where it is further filtered through a pipe"
    Explanation: "Which have a pipe from filtered" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Where it is further filtered through a pipe" provides a clearer description of the action.
  13. "ink and air led to inside this respectively." -> "ink and air are introduced separately."
    Explanation: "Ink and air led to inside this respectively" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Ink and air are introduced separately" clarifies the process.
  14. "Thereafter the tube of water and soad led to bellow water and chemicals." -> "Then, the mixture of water and soap is introduced into the system."
    Explanation: The original phrase is unclear and contains grammatical errors. "Then, the mixture of water and soap is introduced into the system" provides a clearer description.
  15. "It is watered and passes by the tube to making paper phases." -> "It is diluted and conveyed through the tube to the paper-making stage."
    Explanation: "It is watered and passes by the tube to making paper phases" is unclear and awkward. "It is diluted and conveyed through the tube to the paper-making stage" is more precise and grammatically correct.
  16. "It is an experienced conveyor belt." -> "It is conveyed on a specialized conveyor belt."
    Explanation: "It is an experienced conveyor belt" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. "It is conveyed on a specialized conveyor belt" provides a clearer description.
  17. "It is Undergo heated rollers and water bellow." -> "It undergoes heating by rollers and immersion in water below."
    Explanation: "It is Undergo heated rollers and water bellow" contains grammatical errors and lacks clarity. "It undergoes heating by rollers and immersion in water below" is a more precise description.
  18. "Consequently, it is created products of recycled paper." -> "Consequently, recycled paper products are produced."
    Explanation: "Consequently, it is created products of recycled paper" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Consequently, recycled paper products are produced" provides a clearer and more concise expression.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 3

[
Band Score: 3.0
Explanation: The essay attempts to describe the process of making recycled paper but fails to do so effectively. The information is presented in a disjointed manner with unclear sequencing of steps. The essay lacks coherence and organization, making it difficult to follow the process.
How to improve: Focus on presenting the steps of the process in a clear and sequential manner. Use appropriate transitions to connect the different stages of making recycled paper. Ensure clarity in language and avoid unnecessary repetition or irrelevant details. Additionally, pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve overall readability. More specific details and accurate descriptions of each phase would also enhance the clarity and coherence of the essay. Aim to provide a concise and comprehensive summary of the main features of the process, avoiding irrelevant information. Proofreading for errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar would also contribute to a higher band score. ]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 3

Band Score: 3.0

Explanation: The essay lacks logical organization and coherence. There is no clear progression of ideas, and the information is presented in a disjointed manner. The use of cohesive devices is very limited and often inaccurate, which hinders the flow of the essay. Paragraphing is inconsistent, making it difficult for the reader to follow the sequence of ideas.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing the information logically and ensuring a clear progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Additionally, pay attention to paragraph structure, ensuring each paragraph has a clear central topic and follows a logical sequence. Finally, revise for clarity and accuracy in the use of language to avoid confusion for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 3

Band Score: 3

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a very limited range of vocabulary, often relying on basic and repetitive words and expressions. There is minimal control of word formation and spelling, with numerous errors throughout the text. The essay lacks sophistication and clarity in lexical choice, making it difficult to convey the process of recycled paper production effectively.

How to improve: To improve the Lexical Resource score, the writer should strive to diversify their vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate terminology related to the process of recycled paper production. They should also focus on improving word formation and spelling accuracy to enhance clarity and readability. Additionally, proofreading and revising the essay for errors would help to avoid distortions in the message and improve overall coherence.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 3

Band Score: 3

Explanation: The essay attempts to describe the process of making recycled paper but is hindered by significant grammatical errors throughout the text. There are frequent errors in sentence structure, such as missing articles, incorrect verb forms, and unclear phrasing. Punctuation is often lacking or used incorrectly, further complicating the readability of the essay. These errors significantly distort the meaning and make it challenging for the reader to follow the process accurately.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on sentence structure and punctuation. Practice constructing clear and grammatically correct sentences. Pay attention to verb forms, articles, and subject-verb agreement. Additionally, ensure proper use of punctuation marks such as commas and periods to enhance clarity. Reviewing grammar rules and seeking feedback on writing can also be beneficial in improving accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The process depicted illustrates the production stages of recycled paper. There are four main phases involved in the production process, beginning with pulp creation and concluding with the paper-making stage.

Initially, the used paper is collected and boxed before being transported to the pulp-making phase via a conveyor belt. At this stage, the paper is immersed in water and chemicals to facilitate the pulp-making process. Once the pulp is formed, it undergoes filtration through a series of baskets and boxes, followed by a tube-led cleaning process.

Moving on to the cleaning phases, the pulp is transferred via a pipe where ink and air are introduced sequentially. Subsequently, the pulp is subjected to a water and soda solution before being transported through a tube to the paper-making stages. Here, it undergoes further processing on a conveyor belt, passing through heated rollers and water baths to ultimately yield recycled paper products.

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