The diagram below shows how recycled paper is made . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how recycled paper is made .
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given flow chart illustrates the recycling production of paper.
Overall, the process comprises 4 stages, beginning with producing pulp and ending with finishing recycled paper.
Initially, used papers collected from many places are transferred through a conveyor belt to a vat of water and chemicals, at which point they are broken down into small pieces of paper.
Continuing with the second stage which is filtering, these pulps are then put into another vat with small holes in order to be dried up and cleaner. Following this, the cleaning stage continues with cleaned pulps being soaked into a mixture of water and soap with the utilisation of air so as to remove dirts and ink particles. Thereafter, these nearly cleaned pulps are once soaked in another mixture of water and chemicals to be thoroughly cleaned before moving to the last stage.
Finally, pulps which are totally cleaned are transported to heated rollers through a conveyor belt. In this process, they are straightened to become newly produced recycled papers. These ones are now ready to be sold by wholesalers and retailers.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The given flow chart illustrates the recycling production of paper." -> "The diagram illustrates the recycling process of paper."
Explanation: "Diagram" is a more precise term than "flow chart" in academic contexts, and "recycling process" is more specific than "recycling production," which is vague and potentially misleading.
"used papers collected from many places" -> "collected paper waste from various sources"
Explanation: "Collected paper waste from various sources" is more precise and formal, avoiding the casual tone of "used papers."
"are transferred through a conveyor belt to a vat of water and chemicals" -> "are transported via a conveyor belt to a vat of water and chemicals"
Explanation: "Transported via" is a more formal and precise term than "transferred through," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"broken down into small pieces of paper" -> "pulped into smaller fragments"
Explanation: "Pulped" is the correct term for the process of breaking down paper into fibers, and "smaller fragments" is more specific than "small pieces of paper."
"these pulps are then put into another vat with small holes in order to be dried up and cleaner" -> "these pulps are then placed in another vat with small holes to facilitate drying and cleaning"
Explanation: "Placed in" is more formal than "put into," and "facilitate drying and cleaning" is more precise and academically appropriate than "dried up and cleaner."
"the cleaning stage continues with cleaned pulps being soaked into a mixture of water and soap with the utilisation of air" -> "the cleaning process continues with the cleaned pulps being immersed in a mixture of water and soap, utilizing air"
Explanation: "Immersed" is more precise than "soaked," and "utilizing" is more formal than "with the utilisation of."
"to remove dirts and ink particles" -> "to remove dirt and ink particles"
Explanation: "Dirts" is not a standard term; "dirt" is the correct singular form.
"these nearly cleaned pulps are once soaked in another mixture of water and chemicals" -> "these partially cleaned pulps are again immersed in another mixture of water and chemicals"
Explanation: "Partially cleaned" is more accurate than "nearly cleaned," and "again immersed" is more formal than "once soaked."
"to be thoroughly cleaned" -> "to undergo thorough cleaning"
Explanation: "To undergo thorough cleaning" is more formal and precise than "to be thoroughly cleaned."
"pulps which are totally cleaned" -> "pulps that are completely cleaned"
Explanation: "That" is more appropriate than "which" in this context, and "completely" is more formal than "totally."
"transported to heated rollers through a conveyor belt" -> "transported to heated rollers via a conveyor belt"
Explanation: "Via" is more formal than "through," and "transported to heated rollers" is clearer and more direct than "transported through a conveyor belt."
"straightened to become newly produced recycled papers" -> "straightened to produce newly manufactured recycled paper"
Explanation: "Produce" is more precise than "become," and "newly manufactured" is more formal than "newly produced."
"These ones are now ready to be sold by wholesalers and retailers" -> "These products are now ready for sale by wholesalers and retailers"
Explanation: "Products" is more specific and formal than "these ones," and "for sale" is more appropriate than "to be sold."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the process, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay does not adequately highlight the key features of the process, and it does not make comparisons where relevant. For example, the essay does not mention the use of a conveyor belt in the first stage of the process, and it does not compare the different stages of the process.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed overview of the process, highlighting the key features of each stage, and making comparisons where relevant. For example, the essay could mention the use of a conveyor belt in the first stage of the process, and it could compare the different stages of the process in terms of the materials used, the processes involved, and the outcomes. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language and by avoiding unnecessary repetition.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some organization with a clear attempt to present the stages of paper recycling. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases and connectors (e.g., "Overall", "Continuing with", "Following this", "Thereafter", "Finally"), but these are used inconsistently and sometimes incorrectly. The essay lacks overall progression as it jumps between stages without clear sequencing or logical flow. Paragraphing is attempted but lacks logical structure.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion towards a higher band score:

Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas from one stage to the next.
Use cohesive devices more effectively and consistently throughout the essay.
Organize information into well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Avoid repetitive use of transitional phrases and focus on using them appropriately to guide the reader through the process.

Improving these aspects will help achieve better coherence and cohesion, essential for higher band scores in IELTS Task 1 essays.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, though it remains somewhat basic and repetitive at times ("stages," "vat," "pulps"). There is an attempt to use technical vocabulary related to the process ("conveyor belt," "pulps," "heated rollers"), but it lacks consistency and sophistication. There are noticeable errors in word formation and spelling throughout ("dirts," "utilisation," "cleaned pulps are once soaked").

How to improve:
To improve the Lexical Resource score:

Expand the range of vocabulary used, incorporating more precise and varied terms related to the recycling process.
Ensure accuracy in word choice and spelling to minimize errors that could distract the reader.
Aim for greater coherence and cohesion in the use of technical terms related to recycling processes to enhance clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex forms. There are some instances of complex sentences, such as "Initially, used papers collected from many places are transferred through a conveyor belt to a vat of water and chemicals, at which point they are broken down into small pieces of paper." However, the accuracy of these complex structures is inconsistent, with noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay. For instance, "Continuing with the second stage which is filtering, these pulps are then put into another vat with small holes in order to be dried up and cleaner." Here, the use of "which is filtering" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. Additionally, there are issues with verb tense consistency ("are soaked," "are transported"), and some sentences are not fully developed or clear in their meaning.

How to improve:
To achieve a higher score, focus on improving the accuracy and variety of sentence structures. Ensure that complex sentences are used correctly and effectively to convey ideas clearly. Work on maintaining consistent verb tense throughout the essay. Review and edit for grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes to enhance clarity and coherence in writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided flow chart illustrates the process of recycling paper. Overall, the production involves four main stages, starting with pulp production and concluding with the finishing of recycled paper.

Initially, used papers sourced from various locations are conveyed to a water and chemical vat, where they are broken down into small pieces. Moving to the second stage of filtering, these pulps are transferred to another vat equipped with small perforations to facilitate drying and further purification. Following this, the cleaning process proceeds as the purified pulps are immersed in a water and soap mixture, aided by air to eliminate impurities and ink particles. Subsequently, these nearly clean pulps undergo another soaking in a water and chemical solution to ensure thorough purification before advancing to the final stage.

Ultimately, completely cleaned pulps are transported via a conveyor belt to heated rollers, where they are flattened into newly produced recycled paper. These products are then prepared for distribution by wholesalers and retailers.