The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.
The illustrations detail changes that have occurred in the central library between the past 20 years and the present day.
Overall, it is readily apparent that the library has become more modern with more advanced facilities and services. In addition, while the most striking change is the eradication of the tables and chairs in the library hall, the only element remaining unchanged is the entrance.
Looking first at the left of the library 20 years ago, to the top-left, there used to be an area having a range of entertainment, which has been replaced by a room purpose of children’s activities, including storytelling events, and children’s fiction books with a few sofas. Moreover, the fiction book area for adults has become a destination that includes all reference books, adjoining the children’s activities room and computer room, located in the bottom-left corner of the library.
Regarding the right side of this library, the adult non-fiction book area has been given way to a multifunctional area, manifesting in the introduction of an information desk, self-service machines, and the adult fiction book area. Another notable change has been the conversion of the enquiry desk into a food and beverage department, located in the bottom right corner of the library. Despite the demolition of the tables and chairs in the middle of this library, the main entrance in the bottom center underwent no changes, standing as an enduring element amidst the transformations.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
"the library has become more modern" -> "the library has undergone modernization"
Explanation: "Undergone modernization" is a more formal and precise phrase that conveys the transformation of the library in a sophisticated manner.
"eradication of the tables and chairs" -> "elimination of the tables and chairs"
Explanation: "Elimination" is a more formal term, adding a touch of sophistication to the description of the removal of tables and chairs.
"Looking first at the left of the library 20 years ago, to the top-left" -> "Examining the left side of the library two decades ago, specifically the top-left"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality, while replacing "Looking first at" with "Examining" and providing a more precise time frame.
"having a range of entertainment" -> "offering a variety of entertainment"
Explanation: "Offering a variety of entertainment" is a more refined expression, conveying a broader selection of activities and experiences.
"purpose of children’s activities" -> "dedicated to children’s activities"
Explanation: "Dedicated to" imparts a sense of focus and intentionality, enhancing the description of the area designed for children’s activities.
"storytelling events, and children’s fiction books with a few sofas" -> "storytelling events and a selection of children’s fiction books, complemented by a few sofas"
Explanation: Rearranging the sentence for better flow and clarity, while also refining the description by specifying the content of the children’s fiction books.
"a destination that includes all reference books" -> "a section housing a comprehensive collection of reference books"
Explanation: The term "a section housing" provides a more precise and formal description of the area for reference books.
"adult non-fiction book area has been given way to a multifunctional area" -> "the adult non-fiction book area has been transformed into a multifunctional space"
Explanation: "Transformed into" replaces "given way to," offering a more dynamic and sophisticated expression of the change.
"manifesting in the introduction of an information desk" -> "evident in the introduction of an information desk"
Explanation: "Evident in" imparts a sense of clarity and visibility, enhancing the description of the change involving the information desk.
"the conversion of the enquiry desk" -> "the conversion of the inquiry desk"
Explanation: Using "inquiry" instead of "enquiry" aligns with standard American English spelling, maintaining consistency in terminology.
"standing as an enduring element amidst the transformations" -> "remaining a steadfast element amid the transformations"
Explanation: "Remaining a steadfast element" adds a touch of resilience and stability to the description of the unchanged main entrance.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay effectively addresses the task by providing a clear overview of the main changes in the library’s floor plan over the past 20 years. The introduction sets the stage by stating the obvious modernization of the library and the removal of tables and chairs, which is supported by subsequent detailed descriptions of specific changes in different sections of the library. The key features are highlighted, such as the transformation of areas for children’s activities, the reorganization of book sections, and the introduction of new functionalities like an information desk and a food and beverage department. The key trends and differences are presented, giving a comprehensive view of the library’s evolution.
How to improve:
To enhance the essay and move towards a higher band score, consider providing more specific details and data where possible. For instance, instead of general statements like "more advanced facilities," include specific examples of these facilities. Additionally, ensure that the language is consistently clear and precise. In some places, the wording could be refined for greater clarity, and a more varied vocabulary could be employed. Strive for a smoother transition between ideas and ensure that each paragraph contributes cohesively to the overall understanding of the changes in the library.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7
Explanation: The essay effectively organizes information about the changes in the library layout. There’s a clear structure with a description of the past layout and a comparison to the present. Each paragraph addresses a specific area, showcasing coherence in organization. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas within sentences and paragraphs, aiding in the flow of information.
How to improve: To enhance coherence further, consider smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, ensuring consistent and varied use of cohesive devices throughout could elevate the essay to an even higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8
Band Score: 8.0
The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, utilizing a wide range of terms to describe the changes in the library. There is a consistent effort to convey precise meanings, and the essay uses uncommon lexical items effectively. The overall control of lexical features is sophisticated, with rare minor errors occurring as ‘slips.’ The writer successfully employs vocabulary related to the layout of the library and the nature of the changes that have taken place over the past 20 years.
How to improve:
To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied and complex sentence structures. While the essay effectively conveys information, additional sentence variety could contribute to an even more sophisticated expression of ideas. Additionally, be cautious about the accuracy of word choice and collocation; strive to eliminate occasional inaccuracies to achieve a more consistent band 9 level.
Overall, the essay is strong, and with a slight refinement in sentence structure and meticulous attention to word choice, it can attain an even higher band score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a commendable use of a variety of complex structures, contributing to a band 7 score. There is evidence of sentence variety, such as the use of complex sentences to describe changes on the left and right sides of the library. The essay also exhibits good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few errors. The writer effectively communicates the changes in the library layout over the past 20 years, providing a clear and coherent description.
How to improve:
To move towards a higher band score, consider incorporating more sophisticated sentence structures and vocabulary where possible. Additionally, pay close attention to minor errors, ensuring an even higher level of grammatical accuracy. Carefully proofread the essay to eliminate any remaining errors and refine language use. Strive for an even greater range of sentence structures to enhance overall fluency and sophistication.
Bài sửa mẫu
The provided diagrams delineate the evolution of the central library’s floor plan over the past two decades. Evidently, the library has undergone a notable transformation, embracing modernization through enhanced facilities and services. While the entrance remains a constant feature, the most conspicuous alteration is the removal of tables and chairs from the library hall.
Beginning with the left side of the library two decades ago, the top-left section, previously devoted to diverse entertainment options, has now evolved into a dedicated space for children’s activities. This area encompasses storytelling events and children’s fiction books, complemented by a few comfortable sofas. Noteworthy is the relocation of the adult fiction book area, now coexisting with reference books in close proximity to the children’s activities room and the computer facility situated at the bottom-left corner.
Turning attention to the right side of the library, the erstwhile adult non-fiction book zone has made way for a versatile space that introduces an information desk, self-service machines, and the adult fiction book section. Another significant alteration is the transformation of the enquiry desk into a food and beverage department, strategically positioned in the bottom-right corner of the library. Despite the removal of tables and chairs in the library’s central area, the main entrance at the bottom center remains unchanged, standing as a steadfast element amid the architectural metamorphosis.
In summation, the central library’s metamorphosis over the last two decades is evident in the strategic reconfiguration of spaces, emphasizing a shift towards modern amenities and services while preserving the timeless essence of its entrance.