The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.
Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates various changes in the layout of the Central Library a couple of decades ago and now.
Overall, the library witnessed radical changes with the most remarkable being the replacement of all four corner rooms. However, the entrance is the only thing that is unchanged locationally.
In the bottom middle of both plans is the entrance. Next to the left of the entrance used to be the reading room, which was suitable for newspapers and magazine readers, but it is replaced by a computer room now. There is also a replacement of the adult fiction books area with all reference books area at the top of the computer room. CDs, video, and computer games storage were located on the top left in couple of decades ago but it is turned into a children's area with fiction books and sofas for them.
In the center of the previous plan, there were two sets of a table and chairs which are removed at present. The enquire desk which was situated in the South-Eastern is developed into a Cafe. Adult non-fiction books used to be kept in the top area of the enquiry desk, but this area is changed to store the fiction books, and an information desk and some self-service machines is erected. In the North-Eastern corner, the children's books room is converted to a lecture room.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"a couple of decades ago" -> "several decades ago"
Explanation: "a couple of decades ago" is colloquial; "several decades ago" is a more formal and precise phrase, indicating a longer period of time.
"the most remarkable being" -> "the most notable of which"
Explanation: "remarkable" is somewhat informal; "notable" is a more sophisticated term. Additionally, replacing "being" with "of which" streamlines the sentence structure.
"but it is replaced by" -> "it has been replaced by"
Explanation: Using the present perfect tense "has been replaced" instead of "is replaced" is grammatically more accurate when referring to a past action with present consequences.
"suitable for newspapers and magazine readers" -> "suitable for perusing newspapers and magazines"
Explanation: "perusing" is a more refined term than "reading" and adds nuance to the activity.
"there is also a replacement of" -> "there has also been a replacement of"
Explanation: Employing the present perfect tense "has been" instead of "is" is grammatically more precise in this context.
"but it is turned into" -> "but has been transformed into"
Explanation: Using "transformed" instead of "turned into" elevates the language and avoids repetition of the word "into".
"a table and chairs" -> "tables and chairs"
Explanation: "a table and chairs" is grammatically incorrect; "tables and chairs" is the correct plural form.
"which are removed at present" -> "which have been removed"
Explanation: "are removed at present" lacks clarity and precision; "have been removed" clarifies that the removal is a past action with present consequences.
"is developed into a Cafe" -> "has been developed into a café"
Explanation: Utilizing the present perfect tense "has been developed" instead of "is developed" is grammatically more accurate when referring to a completed action with present consequences.
"but this area is changed to store" -> "but this area has been repurposed to store"
Explanation: "changed to store" lacks precision; "repurposed to store" conveys the idea of adaptation or modification for a new function.
"and an information desk and some self-service machines is erected" -> "and an information desk and several self-service machines have been erected"
Explanation: "is erected" should be "have been erected" to agree with the plural subject "an information desk and some self-service machines."
"is converted to a lecture room" -> "has been converted into a lecture room"
Explanation: Using the present perfect tense "has been converted" instead of "is converted" is grammatically more precise when referring to a past action with present consequences.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main changes in the library’s floor plan over the past 20 years. Key features such as the relocation and replacement of various sections are highlighted and compared between the two time periods.
How to improve: To improve further, the essay could extend the discussion on how these changes have impacted the functionality or usage of the library. Additionally, providing more specific details, such as the size or capacity of the new sections compared to the old ones, would enhance the analysis. Ensure that all information presented is accurate and relevant to the comparison between the two floor plans.]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some attempt at organizing information and ideas. The essay starts with a general overview of changes in the library layout over the past 20 years. However, coherence and cohesion are hindered by several issues. There is some organization, but the progression lacks clarity. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, leading to unclear relationships between ideas. The essay does make an effort to use paragraphs, but the paragraphing is inadequate and does not consistently aid in structuring the content effectively.

How to improve:

Organizational Structure: Focus on presenting information in a clearer sequence with a logical progression. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central theme related to the changes in the library.
Cohesive Devices: Use a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately (e.g., pronouns, transitional phrases) to establish better connections between sentences and ideas.
Paragraphing: Improve paragraphing by ensuring each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the library’s transformation. Ensure paragraphs are logically connected and contribute to a coherent flow of information.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering various aspects of the library’s changes over time. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "enquire desk" and "erected," although some inaccuracies are present, such as "couple of decades ago" instead of "a couple of decades ago." Additionally, while the essay effectively conveys the changes in the library’s layout, it lacks sophistication and naturalness in expression.

How to improve:
To enhance the Lexical Resource score, strive for more varied and precise vocabulary choices. Aim for greater fluency and flexibility in word usage, avoiding repetitive language. Additionally, focus on refining word choice and collocation to convey ideas more naturally and accurately. Finally, proofread the essay to correct any spelling or word formation errors that may impede communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. It effectively communicates the main features and changes in the floor plan of the library over the past two decades. The essay includes a variety of sentence structures, such as compound sentences ("Overall, the library witnessed radical changes with the most remarkable being the replacement of all four corner rooms") and complex sentences ("However, the entrance is the only thing that is unchanged locationally"). There are some instances of grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as missing commas and awkward phrasing, but they do not significantly hinder understanding. The essay effectively conveys the main ideas but lacks consistent accuracy in grammar and punctuation.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining sentence structures and ensuring correct punctuation usage. Reviewing the essay for clarity and coherence can help identify and correct grammatical errors. Additionally, paying attention to sentence construction and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement can enhance the overall accuracy of the essay. Practice incorporating a wider range of complex sentence structures while maintaining grammatical precision to elevate the band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided diagram delineates alterations in the layout of the Central Library two decades ago and presently. Overall, significant transformations are evident, particularly the replacement of all four corner rooms, while the entrance remains unchanged in its location.

In both renditions, the entrance remains situated at the bottom middle. Adjacent to its left in the earlier depiction was the reading room, catering to newspaper and magazine enthusiasts, which has now been substituted by a computer room. Additionally, the adult fiction section has been supplanted by a reference book area atop the computer room. The section previously allocated for CDs, videos, and computer games, located in the top left, has been repurposed into a children’s area, furnished with fiction books and sofas.

In the center of the former plan were two sets of tables and chairs, now absent. The enquiry desk, once positioned in the southeastern corner, has undergone a transformation into a cafe. The space atop the enquiry desk, previously reserved for adult non-fiction books, has been repurposed to accommodate fiction books, alongside an information desk and several self-service machines. Lastly, the northeastern corner, once dedicated to children’s books, has been converted into a lecture room.