The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.
The illustrations provided demonstrate how a public library changed over the course of 20 years.
Overall, it is evident that this library has undergone a total transformation, with all rooms and sections being used for new purposes.
Turning to details, initially, two rooms on the left hand side of the library were used for reading and computer displaying purposes. However, 20 years later, these two rooms have basically been switched their positions with each other, with the reading and story telling room being relocated to the top left corner and the computer room to the bottom left corner of the new public library. The row of books on adult fiction lying between two rooms has also been changed into reference books of all kinds.
In terms of the remaining part of the library, two round-shaped tables and their chairs which were positioned in the center of the floor have been removed, while the bookshelves which were used to contain non-fiction books are cleared away to make room for a new information desk and self-service machines. There is also an introduction of a shelf for adult fiction books nearby. The two original rooms in the top right and bottom right corners of the library were used for storing children books and showing an enquiry desk for tickets and books returns respectively. However, whilst the former has been transformed into a lecture room, the latter is now a café store.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
"Turning to details" -> "Examining the specifics"
Explanation: Replacing "Turning to details" with "Examining the specifics" provides a more formal and precise transition, enhancing the overall sophistication of the language.
"have basically been switched their positions" -> "have essentially swapped positions"
Explanation: Substituting "have basically been switched their positions" with "have essentially swapped positions" maintains clarity while using a more sophisticated and concise expression.
"lying between two rooms" -> "spanning between two rooms"
Explanation: Changing "lying between two rooms" to "spanning between two rooms" offers a more precise description, conveying the idea of the row of books covering the space between the rooms more elegantly.
"bookshelves which were used to contain non-fiction books are cleared away" -> "bookshelves that formerly housed non-fiction books have been cleared"
Explanation: Replacing "bookshelves which were used to contain non-fiction books are cleared away" with "bookshelves that formerly housed non-fiction books have been cleared" streamlines the sentence and maintains a consistent past tense, improving overall clarity.
"There is also an introduction of a shelf" -> "Additionally, a shelf has been introduced"
Explanation: Substituting "There is also an introduction of a shelf" with "Additionally, a shelf has been introduced" eliminates redundancy and presents the information in a more concise and formal manner.
"storing children books" -> "housing children’s books"
Explanation: Changing "storing children books" to "housing children’s books" is a more precise and grammatically correct expression, enhancing the professionalism of the description.
"showing an enquiry desk for tickets and books returns respectively" -> "featuring an inquiry desk for ticket inquiries and book returns, respectively"
Explanation: Replacing "showing an enquiry desk for tickets and books returns respectively" with "featuring an inquiry desk for ticket inquiries and book returns, respectively" provides a more detailed and grammatically accurate description, contributing to a more polished writing style.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay effectively covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main changes in the public library’s floor plan over the 20-year period. The key features, such as the rearrangement of rooms, changes in furniture, and introduction of new elements, are presented and highlighted with clarity. The response demonstrates a satisfactory level of detail and coherence in describing the alterations in the library’s layout.
How to improve:
To enhance the task achievement and potentially move to a higher band score, consider providing more depth in the analysis of specific changes. Include additional information about the impact of these changes on the functionality of the library or the potential reasons behind the alterations. Additionally, ensure that the language used is precise and that details are accurately conveyed to avoid any ambiguity or potential confusion for the reader.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, with a clear progression throughout. The introduction effectively sets the stage by summarizing the changes in the public library over 20 years. The body paragraphs provide detailed information about the changes in different sections of the library, maintaining a coherent flow of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate, contributing to the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. The essay also presents a clear central topic within each paragraph, contributing to the overall clarity and organization.
However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more refined. For example, in the sentence "Turning to details," a smoother transition could be employed. Additionally, there are a few instances where the referencing and substitution could be more precise for enhanced clarity. Despite these minor areas for improvement, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of coherence and cohesion elements, placing it within the Band 7 range.
How to improve:
- Ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
- Pay attention to the precision of referencing and substitution to avoid any ambiguity in the reader’s understanding.
- Maintain a consistent and appropriate use of cohesive devices throughout the essay.
- Consider refining the introductory and concluding sentences of each paragraph to enhance overall cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. It effectively communicates the changes in the public library over 20 years and uses descriptive language to convey the alterations in room usage. While there is an attempt to incorporate less common vocabulary, there are instances of inaccuracy and word choice issues. For example, the phrase "have basically been switched their positions" could be improved for clarity. There are also minor errors in word formation, such as "been switched their positions," which slightly impede communication.
How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource and achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on refining word choice and accuracy. Instead of "have basically been switched their positions," the sentence could be revised to "have essentially swapped positions." Additionally, careful proofreading for word formation errors and spelling would improve overall clarity and precision. Consider seeking alternatives for repetitive phrases, such as finding synonyms for "changed" or "transformed" to introduce more variety into the vocabulary.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, providing a reasonably clear description of the changes in the library over the given time frame. There is an attempt at using varied structures, such as introductory phrases and clauses. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and some awkward phrasing that hinder overall clarity. For instance, "these two rooms have basically been switched their positions with each other" could be revised for smoother expression. Despite these issues, the essay maintains communication, and the overall organization is acceptable.
How to improve:
To enhance the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score, the writer should focus on refining sentence structures and correcting errors. This can be achieved through careful proofreading and revision. Additionally, attention to detail in grammar and punctuation, along with greater precision in word choices, will contribute to a more polished and effective essay. Consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to identify specific areas for improvement and practice incorporating a wider range of grammatical structures.
Bài sửa mẫu
The provided diagrams illustrate the floor plan evolution of a public library over a 20-year period. Overall, the library has undergone a significant transformation, with various sections repurposed for new functions.
In the initial configuration, two rooms situated on the left side of the library served as spaces for reading and computer displays. However, in the present layout, these rooms have swapped positions, with the reading and story-telling area now situated in the top left corner, while the computer room is relocated to the bottom left corner of the contemporary library. Additionally, the row of adult fiction books positioned between these rooms has been replaced by a collection of diverse reference books.
Concerning the remainder of the library, the central placement of two round-shaped tables and accompanying chairs has been eliminated. Simultaneously, the non-fiction bookshelves have made way for a new information desk and self-service machines. An adjacent shelf has been introduced exclusively for adult fiction books. The original rooms in the top right and bottom right corners initially dedicated to children’s books storage and an inquiry desk for tickets and book returns have undergone noteworthy changes. The former has been converted into a lecture room, while the latter now serves as a café store.
In summary, the library’s metamorphosis is evident through the reassignment of spaces and the introduction of new amenities, reflecting a dynamic evolution over the two decades.