The diagram below shows the recycling process off glass
The diagram below shows the recycling process off glass
The diagram illustrate the multi-stage process recycling glass
overall,there are various main stages ,starting with bottles collection and ending with transportion recycled product to supermarket
At the first stage in the diagram,bottles are colection poin where bottles are sprted by hand in oder to get recyclable bottles.then, this bottles which being transfred to sanitary plant to clean up before being moved to recycling plant to glass melted by furmace so as to get recycled liquid glass and new liquid glass.Finally,glass is put into mould before being sold to supermarket and custumer
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The diagram illustrate" -> "The diagram illustrates"
Explanation: The subject "diagram" is singular, necessitating the singular verb "illustrates" for grammatical correctness. -
"the multi-stage process recycling glass" -> "the multi-stage process of recycling glass"
Explanation: Adding "of" clarifies the relationship between "process" and "recycling glass," improving the grammatical structure. -
"overall,there are various main stages" -> "Overall, there are several key stages"
Explanation: Capitalizing "Overall" and adding a space after the comma enhances readability. "Several key stages" is more precise than "various main stages," which can be vague. -
"starting with bottles collection" -> "starting with the collection of bottles"
Explanation: "The collection of bottles" is more grammatically correct and formal than "bottles collection." -
"transportion recycled product to supermarket" -> "transportation of the recycled product to the supermarket"
Explanation: Correcting "transportion" to "transportation" and adding "of the" improves clarity and grammatical accuracy. -
"At the first stage in the diagram,bottles are colection poin where bottles are sprted by hand in oder to get recyclable bottles" -> "At the first stage in the diagram, bottles are collected at a collection point where they are sorted by hand to obtain recyclable bottles."
Explanation: Correcting "colection" to "collected," "poin" to "point," and "sprted" to "sorted" ensures proper spelling. "To obtain" is more formal than "in oder to get." -
"this bottles which being transfred to sanitary plant to clean up before being moved to recycling plant to glass melted by furmace so as to get recycled liquid glass and new liquid glass." -> "These bottles are then transferred to a sanitation plant for cleaning before being moved to a recycling plant where the glass is melted in a furnace to produce recycled liquid glass."
Explanation: Changing "this" to "these" corrects the plural reference. "Transferred" is the correct spelling, and "sanitation plant" is more precise than "sanitary plant." "For cleaning" is clearer than "to clean up," and "where the glass is melted in a furnace" improves clarity and formality. -
"Finally,glass is put into mould before being sold to supermarket and custumer" -> "Finally, the glass is placed into molds before being sold to the supermarket and customers."
Explanation: Adding "the" before "glass" improves specificity. "Placed" is a more formal alternative to "put," and "molds" is the correct plural form. "To the supermarket and customers" clarifies the intended audience.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the process, and the information is recounted mechanically. The essay also does not adequately cover all of the key features of the process. For example, the essay does not mention the sorting of bottles by color, which is a key step in the recycling process.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the process and by adequately covering all of the key features. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language and by avoiding grammatical errors. For example, the essay could be improved by using the word "collected" instead of "colection" and by using the word "transported" instead of "transfred."
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay presents information and ideas, but they are not arranged coherently, and there is no clear progression in the response. The use of cohesive devices is basic and often inaccurate, leading to confusion. For example, phrases like "this bottles which being transfred" are poorly constructed and hinder clarity. The paragraphing is inadequate, as the essay lacks clear separation of ideas and stages in the recycling process.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically organizing the information into distinct paragraphs, each representing a specific stage of the recycling process. Using a wider range of cohesive devices correctly will help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, ensuring grammatical accuracy and clarity in sentence structure will improve overall readability.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the recycling process, there are noticeable errors in spelling (e.g., "illustrate," "collection," "sorted," "transferred," "furnace," "customers") and word formation (e.g., "transportion," "sanitary plant"). These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader. The use of vocabulary is basic and repetitive, lacking the flexibility and precision required for a higher band score.
How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary by incorporating more varied and less common lexical items relevant to the topic. Additionally, they should pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy to avoid errors that impede communication. Practicing the use of synonyms and different phrases to convey the same idea can also improve the overall quality of the writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. However, there are numerous grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement, incorrect word forms, and punctuation mistakes. These errors significantly hinder clarity and coherence, making it difficult for the reader to follow the intended meaning. The use of subordinate clauses is rare, and the overall sentence structure lacks variety.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:
- Sentence Variety: Incorporate a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to create a more engaging and varied writing style.
- Proofreading: Review the essay for common grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect word forms, to improve overall accuracy.
- Punctuation: Pay attention to punctuation rules to ensure clarity and proper sentence separation.
- Use of Subordinate Clauses: Practice using subordinate clauses to add depth to sentences and improve coherence.
- Vocabulary Development: Expand vocabulary to express ideas more clearly and accurately, which can also help in constructing more complex sentences.
Bài sửa mẫu
The diagram illustrates the multi-stage process of recycling glass. Overall, there are several main stages, starting with the collection of bottles and ending with the transportation of the recycled product to supermarkets.
At the first stage in the diagram, bottles are collected at a collection point where they are sorted by hand in order to identify recyclable bottles. Then, these bottles are transferred to a sanitary plant for cleaning before being moved to the recycling plant, where the glass is melted in a furnace to produce recycled liquid glass and new liquid glass. Finally, the glass is poured into molds before being sold to supermarkets and customers.
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