The diagram details the process of making leather products. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram details the process of making leather products.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram gives information about the manufacturing process of leather goods

Overall, there are 11 stages in the process, beginning with animal skin being dried and ending in leather goods being produced.

To begin with, the animal skin is hung on a rope until completely dried. Then, it is loaded onto a truck before being transported to a factory for upcoming stages of processing and manufacturing. After that, animal skin is washed in a mixture of water and lime, followed by being soaked in lime for a longer time. In the subsequent stage, the skin is flattened in a rolling machine.

After being thinner, it is soaked one more time in tannin which is water mixed with vegetable matter. The final step in the leather processing factory is leather being completed by polishing until it has a smooth and shiny surface. Then, completed leather is being transported to another factory where they are used as materials for making some items such as: boots, shoes bags, basket balls or tennis balls

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"To begin with" -> "Initially"
Explanation: "To begin with" is a common phrase, but "Initially" adds variety and sophistication to the language.
"loaded onto a truck" -> "transported onto a truck"
Explanation: "Loaded onto a truck" is somewhat redundant; "transported onto a truck" maintains clarity without repetition.
"washed in a mixture of water and lime" -> "cleansed in a solution of water and lime"
Explanation: "Washed" is a basic term; "cleansed" adds formality and specificity, while "solution" clarifies the nature of the mixture.
"soaked in lime for a longer time" -> "immersed in lime for an extended duration"
Explanation: "Soaked" is colloquial; "immersed" is more formal and precise, while "extended duration" adds clarity and sophistication.
"flattened in a rolling machine" -> "compressed by a rolling machine"
Explanation: "Flattened" is less precise; "compressed" better describes the action of the machine.
"After being thinner" -> "Subsequently"
Explanation: "After being thinner" is awkward; "Subsequently" smoothly transitions to the next step in the process.
"one more time" -> "once again"
Explanation: "One more time" is informal; "once again" maintains formality and clarity.
"tannin which is water mixed with vegetable matter" -> "tannin, a solution of water and vegetable matter"
Explanation: "Tannin which is water mixed with vegetable matter" is unclear and redundant; "tannin, a solution of water and vegetable matter" provides a precise description.
"the final step in the leather processing factory" -> "the concluding phase of the leather processing facility"
Explanation: "The final step" is common; "the concluding phase" and "leather processing facility" add variety and formality.
"being transported" -> "is transported"
Explanation: "Being transported" is passive; "is transported" is active and more direct.
"materials for making some items such as" -> "materials used in the production of items such as"
Explanation: "Materials for making some items such as" is wordy; "materials used in the production of items such as" is concise and clear.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main stages of the leather production process. It provides a clear overview of the process, mentioning 11 stages from drying the animal skin to the production of leather goods. The key features are presented in a logical sequence, covering essential steps such as washing, soaking, flattening, and polishing the skin. However, some details could be further extended to enhance clarity and completeness.

How to improve:
To improve, consider providing more specific details about each stage of the process, such as duration, temperature, or machinery involved. Additionally, ensure that all key features are fully elaborated upon to offer a comprehensive understanding of the process to the reader.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay logically organizes the information by outlining the 11 stages of the leather manufacturing process in a sequential manner. Each paragraph introduces a clear central topic related to a specific stage of the process, facilitating coherence and progression throughout the essay. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices such as transitional phrases ("To begin with," "Then," "After that," "In the subsequent stage") helps to connect ideas and maintain coherence.

How to improve: To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider varying the sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices. Additionally, ensure consistency in paragraphing, possibly by expanding on the details within each stage to provide a more comprehensive overview of the process.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering essential terms related to the leather manufacturing process such as "animal skin," "dried," "transported," "factory," "processing," "manufacturing," "lime," "tannin," and "polishing." Attempts are made to incorporate less common vocabulary like "tannin," indicating a basic understanding of industry-specific terminology. The essay also effectively communicates the sequential nature of the process, using transitional phrases like "to begin with," "then," "after that," and "in the subsequent stage." However, there is a lack of variety in vocabulary, with repetition of phrases like "animal skin" and "factory," and some terms are used in a repetitive manner ("leather goods" and "leather products"). Additionally, there is room for improvement in the use of more sophisticated vocabulary and expressions to enhance lexical diversity and precision.

How to improve:

Enhance lexical variety by avoiding repetitive use of terms such as "animal skin" and "factory." Instead, employ synonyms or alternative expressions where appropriate.
Incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to the leather manufacturing process, such as technical terms or specialized terminology specific to each stage.
Use advanced lexical features to convey precise meanings and enhance the overall sophistication of the essay.
Pay attention to collocation and word choice to ensure accuracy and appropriateness throughout the essay.
Proofread for spelling and word formation errors to maintain clarity and coherence in communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with some variation in sentence structure. There is a reasonable attempt to use a variety of structures, such as compound and complex sentences, although some sentences remain relatively simple.

The majority of the essay is clear and communicates the intended meaning effectively. However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay, though these errors do not significantly impede communication. For example, "after being thinner, it is soaked one more time in tannin which is water mixed with vegetable matter" could be improved for clarity and precision.

How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, and punctuation. Proofreading the essay carefully for errors and revising unclear or awkwardly constructed sentences could help enhance the overall clarity and accuracy of the writing. Additionally, strive for more varied and sophisticated sentence structures to elevate the overall quality of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram presents the detailed stages involved in the manufacturing of leather goods.

Overall, the process comprises 11 distinct stages, initiating with the drying of animal skin and culminating in the production of various leather products.

Initially, the animal skin is suspended on a rope to dry completely. Subsequently, the dried skin is loaded onto a truck and transported to a factory where it undergoes further processing. Upon arrival at the factory, the skin is cleansed in a solution of water and lime, and thereafter soaked in lime for an extended period. Following this, the skin is flattened using a rolling machine.

Once flattened, the skin undergoes another soaking, this time in a tannin solution, which consists of water mixed with vegetable matter. The penultimate step in the leather processing involves the leather being polished until it achieves a smooth and glossy finish. Finally, this finished leather is transported to a different factory, where it is used as a raw material to create various items including boots, shoes, bags, basketballs, and tennis balls.

This process, from drying the skin to the final leather product production, illustrates the complex series of steps required to transform raw animal skins into usable leather goods.