fbpx

The diagram shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity.

The diagram shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity.

The diagram shows how electricity can be generated by using geothermal energy. Overall, the entire process includes a total of 5 steps with the water undergoing changes in form from liquid to vapor. Interestingly, the process wholly involves specialized machinery.

At the first stage, cold water stored in a relatively large tanker is pumped into an injection well, which is 4.5 kilometers below the Earth’s surface. The water then absorbs into the ground and gradually moves through the hot rock layer that is referred to as the geothermal zone. At this point, the water is heated and is transferred into another production well. Notably, this well seems considerably larger in comparison to the previous one although it will only carry the same amount of water.

Once the hot water has reached the above surface, it is passed through a special machine, namely the condenser, vaporizing the water and turning it into steam. The steam is responsible for powering a wheel, this wheel has to be spun at a high speed so that it can operate the turbine. Eventually, the turbine generates electricity. The electricity can be passed along cables attached to a tall metal tower, distributing it to other areas.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "The diagram shows" -> "The diagram illustrates"
    Explanation: "Illustrates" is more precise and academically appropriate than "shows" in the context of technical diagrams, emphasizing the detailed representation of the process.

  2. "using geothermal energy" -> "utilizing geothermal energy"
    Explanation: "Utilizing" is a more formal and precise term than "using" in academic writing, particularly when referring to the application of a specific energy source.

  3. "the entire process includes a total of 5 steps" -> "the process comprises five distinct stages"
    Explanation: "Comprises" is a more formal term than "includes," and "distinct stages" is more precise than "steps," which is somewhat informal and vague.

  4. "water undergoing changes in form from liquid to vapor" -> "water undergoing a transformation from liquid to vapor"
    Explanation: "Transformation" is a more specific and scientifically accurate term than "changes in form," which is somewhat vague and less formal.

  5. "the process wholly involves specialized machinery" -> "the process is entirely facilitated by specialized machinery"
    Explanation: "Facilitated by" is more precise and formal than "involves," which is somewhat general and less specific.

  6. "cold water stored in a relatively large tanker" -> "cold water stored in a substantial storage tank"
    Explanation: "Substantial storage tank" is more specific and formal than "relatively large tanker," which is less precise and less formal.

  7. "pumped into an injection well" -> "pumped into an injection well"
    Explanation: No change needed as the original is correct, but it could be clarified to "injected into an injection well" for added precision.

  8. "The water then absorbs into the ground" -> "The water then seeps into the ground"
    Explanation: "Seeps" is the correct term for the gradual flow of water into porous materials like soil, whereas "absorbs" is more commonly associated with the uptake of substances by a material.

  9. "hot rock layer" -> "hot rock formation"
    Explanation: "Formation" is a geological term that is more specific and appropriate in this context than "layer," which is less precise.

  10. "the same amount of water" -> "the same volume of water"
    Explanation: "Volume" is more specific and appropriate in the context of measuring the quantity of water, whereas "amount" is vague and less formal.

  11. "passed through a special machine" -> "processed through a specialized device"
    Explanation: "Processed" and "device" are more precise and formal than "passed" and "machine," which are less specific and slightly informal.

  12. "vaporizing the water and turning it into steam" -> "vaporizing the water to produce steam"
    Explanation: "To produce" is a more formal and precise way of expressing the outcome of the process, compared to "turning it into."

  13. "The steam is responsible for powering a wheel" -> "The steam drives a turbine"
    Explanation: "Drives" is a more precise and technical term than "powers," and "turbine" is the correct device powered by steam in this context, not a wheel.

  14. "has to be spun at a high speed" -> "must rotate at a high speed"
    Explanation: "Must rotate" is more formal and precise than "has to be spun," which is somewhat colloquial and less precise.

  15. "can operate the turbine" -> "operates the turbine"
    Explanation: "Operates" is a more direct and formal verb choice than "can operate," which is less definitive and less formal.

  16. "The electricity can be passed along cables" -> "The electricity is transmitted via cables"
    Explanation: "Is transmitted via" is more formal and precise than "can be passed along," which is less formal and less specific.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the process, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also does not adequately highlight all the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay does not mention the fact that the water is pumped down into the injection well and then pumped up from the production well.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed overview of the process, including a clear description of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay could also be improved by highlighting all the key features/bullet points, including the fact that the water is pumped down into the injection well and then pumped up from the production well.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents a coherent overview of the geothermal energy process, with a clear overall progression from one step to the next. The information is arranged logically, and the central topic of each paragraph is identifiable. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, and the referencing could be clearer. Additionally, while paragraphing is present, it is not always used to its full potential, as some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more effectively, ensuring that they contribute to the logical flow of ideas rather than feeling forced. Improving the clarity of referencing (e.g., using pronouns or synonyms more effectively) would help reduce repetition and enhance the overall readability. Additionally, refining paragraphing by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next could further strengthen the essay’s structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying the process of generating electricity from geothermal energy. It employs less common lexical items such as "injection well," "geothermal zone," and "condenser," which show an awareness of the topic’s specific terminology. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "absorbs into the ground," which could be more accurately expressed as "absorbed by the ground." Additionally, there are minor errors in phrasing, such as "this wheel has to be spun," which could be more formally stated. Overall, while the vocabulary is adequate and mostly appropriate, it lacks the sophistication and fluency expected at higher band levels.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary and phrases that convey precise meanings. This could involve incorporating more technical terms related to geothermal energy and electricity generation. Additionally, the writer should aim to reduce inaccuracies in word choice and improve collocation by reviewing synonyms and contextually appropriate expressions. Finally, proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors will help to minimize any minor slips that could detract from the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The grammatical control is generally good, with only a few errors present. The use of complex sentences is evident, and the overall structure of the essay is coherent. However, there are minor grammatical inaccuracies and some awkward phrasing that prevent it from achieving a higher score. For example, the phrase "the water absorbs into the ground" could be more accurately expressed as "the water is absorbed into the ground."

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on refining sentence structures to ensure clarity and precision. This includes minimizing awkward phrasing and ensuring that all verb forms are used correctly. Additionally, practicing the use of more varied sentence connectors and transition phrases could help improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay. Regular proofreading for minor errors and inconsistencies will also contribute to achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram shows how electricity can be generated by using geothermal energy. Overall, the entire process consists of five steps, with water undergoing changes in form from liquid to vapor. Interestingly, the process involves specialized machinery.

In the first stage, cold water stored in a relatively large tank is pumped into an injection well, which is 4.5 kilometers below the Earth’s surface. The water then seeps into the ground and gradually moves through the hot rock layer known as the geothermal zone. At this point, the water is heated and transferred into another production well. Notably, this well appears considerably larger in comparison to the previous one, although it carries the same amount of water.

Once the hot water has reached the surface, it passes through a special machine, namely the condenser, which vaporizes the water and turns it into steam. The steam powers a wheel that must be spun at high speed to operate the turbine. Eventually, the turbine generates electricity. The electricity is transmitted along cables attached to a tall metal tower, distributing it to other areas.

Bài viết liên quan

Phản hồi

Email của bạn sẽ không được hiển thị công khai. Các trường bắt buộc được đánh dấu *

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT

Lưu ý

Sắp bảo trì server

Để đảm bảo tính ổn định của web, web sẽ thực hiện backup dữ liệu hàng ngày từ 3h-3h30 sáng

Rất mong quý thầy cô và học viên thông cảm vì bất tiện này