The diagram shows the lady bug's life cycle and anatomy.

The first diagram illustrates the various stages of the life cycle of a Lady Bird and the second one shows different parts of their body. Overall, a lady bug’s life cycle consists of four phases, starting with the egg stage and culminating with the adult lady bug. Furthermore, the anatomy is described by the hard shell that is in black and red.

In the first step, the eggs are hatched on a leaf, where stay for about 2-5 days. Afterwards, it reaches the Larval stage, which lasts for 21 days. At the next stage, pupae develop on the back of the leaf which then forms into an adult Ladybug after 1 week. Then, the life cycle begins again.

The second diagram depicts the anatomy of a ladybug. It consists of a head at the front with two eyes and antennae, while the black of the head has a structure called a pronotum. Additionally, there are six legs in total attached to their body, three on each side. Moreover, the wings are covered with red elytra, with black circular spots on the top of it.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The first diagram illustrates" -> "The diagrams depict"
Explanation: Using "depict" instead of "illustrate" provides a more precise verb choice for academic writing, as it is more commonly used in formal descriptions of visual representations.
"a lady bug" -> "ladybugs"
Explanation: "Ladybugs" is the plural form of the insect, which is more appropriate in this context as the diagram refers to multiple parts of the insect’s body.
"the hard shell that is in black and red" -> "the exoskeleton featuring black and red coloration"
Explanation: "Exoskeleton" is a more precise term for the external covering of insects, and "coloration" is a more formal term than "shell" and "black and red."
"the first step" -> "the initial stage"
Explanation: "Initial stage" is a more formal and precise term than "first step," which is somewhat colloquial for academic writing.
"where stay" -> "where they remain"
Explanation: "Remain" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing compared to the less formal "stay."
"Afterwards, it reaches" -> "Subsequently, it enters"
Explanation: "Subsequently" is a more formal adverb than "afterwards," and "enters" is more precise than "reaches" in describing the transition from one stage to another.
"pupae develop on the back of the leaf" -> "pupae form on the leaf’s surface"
Explanation: "Form" is more specific than "develop" in this context, and "on the leaf’s surface" is more precise than "on the back of the leaf."
"Then, the life cycle begins again" -> "Thus, the life cycle recommences"
Explanation: "Recommences" is a more formal and academic term than "begins again," which is somewhat informal and redundant.
"The second diagram depicts" -> "The second diagram illustrates"
Explanation: Consistency in verb choice is maintained by using "illustrates" here, mirroring the initial description of the first diagram.
"It consists of a head at the front with two eyes and antennae" -> "It comprises a head at the anterior with two eyes and antennae"
Explanation: "Comprises" is more formal than "consists of," and "anterior" is a more precise anatomical term than "front."
"the black of the head has a structure called a pronotum" -> "the head features a pronotum, typically black"
Explanation: "Features" is a more formal verb than "has," and "typically black" provides a more precise description of the coloration.
"Additionally, there are six legs in total attached to their body" -> "Furthermore, the body is supported by six legs"
Explanation: "Furthermore" is a more formal transition than "Additionally," and "supported by" is a more precise description of the function of the legs than "attached to."
"with black circular spots on the top of it" -> "featuring black circular markings on its dorsal surface"
Explanation: "Featuring" and "markings" are more precise and formal than "with" and "spots," and "dorsal surface" is a more technical term than "top of it."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the life cycle and anatomy of the ladybug. The essay presents information appropriately selected from the diagrams, but some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the ladybug’s hard shell is black and red, but the diagram shows that the shell is red with black spots. Additionally, the essay mentions that the wings are covered with red elytra, but the diagram shows that the elytra are red with black spots.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by focusing on the key features of the diagrams and avoiding irrelevant or inaccurate details. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language to describe the features of the ladybug. For example, instead of saying "hard shell," the essay could say "elytra."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents information and ideas in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the life cycle stages to the anatomy of the ladybug. The use of cohesive devices is effective, but there are instances where cohesion is somewhat mechanical, particularly in the transitions between stages of the life cycle and the description of anatomy. While the essay does use paragraphing, it could be improved for better logical flow, especially in separating the two main topics more distinctly.

How to improve:
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Improve Paragraphing: Clearly separate the discussion of the life cycle and anatomy into distinct paragraphs. This will help the reader follow the progression of ideas more easily.
Use a Variety of Cohesive Devices: Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly. For example, using phrases like "In addition to this" or "Following this" can help create a more fluid transition between stages of the life cycle.
Clarify Referencing: Ensure that references to the ladybug are consistent and clear throughout the essay. Avoid using different terms (like "lady bug" and "ladybird") interchangeably without clarification.
Enhance Descriptive Detail: Provide more detail about the anatomy and life cycle stages to enrich the content and improve logical connections between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, with some attempts to use less common terms such as "anatomy," "larval stage," and "pupae." However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the black of the head" which is awkwardly phrased. Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "lady bug" which should be consistently spelled as "ladybird" or "ladybug." These issues do not severely impede communication but do detract from the overall effectiveness of the lexical resource used in the essay.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision and accuracy. This includes avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring that terms are used correctly in context. Additionally, focusing on correct spelling and consistent terminology (e.g., using "ladybird" or "ladybug" consistently) will improve clarity. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and phrases, as well as ensuring correct collocations, would also help elevate the score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. While the writer attempts to use a variety of structures, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, phrases like "where stay for about 2-5 days" lack proper grammatical structure, and the use of "the black of the head" is somewhat unclear. Overall, the errors present do not significantly impede communication, but they are noticeable.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on improving grammatical accuracy and expanding the range of sentence structures. This can be done by practicing complex sentences, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and refining awkward phrases for clarity. Additionally, proofreading the essay for minor errors before submission can help in reducing the frequency of mistakes.

Bài sửa mẫu

The first diagram illustrates the various stages of the life cycle of a ladybug, while the second one shows the different parts of its anatomy. Overall, a ladybug’s life cycle consists of four phases, starting with the egg stage and culminating in the adult ladybug. Furthermore, the anatomy is characterized by a hard shell that is black and red.

In the first step, the eggs are laid on a leaf, where they remain for about 2 to 5 days. Afterwards, they progress to the larval stage, which lasts for 21 days. In the next stage, pupae develop on the underside of the leaf, which then transform into adult ladybugs after one week. The life cycle then begins again.

The second diagram depicts the anatomy of a ladybug. It consists of a head at the front with two eyes and antennae, while the black part of the head features a structure called a pronotum. Additionally, there are six legs in total attached to its body, three on each side. Moreover, the wings are covered with red elytra, adorned with black circular spots on the top.

The diagram shows the lady bug’s life cycle and anatomy.