The diagram shows the life cycle of the silkworm. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram shows the life cycle of the silkworm.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

The chart illustrates various phases of a silkworm development .
Overall, it can be observed that thể are 4 main stages, commencing with the original eggs and culminating with a mature moth.

At the first stage of the life cycle, silkworm eggs are laid in a mulberry leaf by a fully grown butterfly. After approximately 10 days, the silkworm larva is hatched and eats the mulberry leaf to develop.

At the next stage, about 4 to 6 weeks later, the silkworm larva gradually rolls into silk threads which they created for 4 to 6 weeks until its body is covered entirely inside the cocoon made by silk threads.

At the final stage, after a period lasting nearly 16 days, the larva breaks its cocoon, coming out and emerge with new appearance of a mature moth. Afterwards, the mature moth continue to lay eggs in the mulberry leaf. The life cycle of the silkworm starts again.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "various phases" -> "distinct stages"
   Explanation: Using "distinct stages" instead of "various phases" provides a more specific and precise description of the different points in the silkworm development process.

2. "thể" -> "there"
   Explanation: "thể" seems to be a typographical error or a misspelling. Replacing it with "there" improves the clarity and correctness of the sentence.

3. "larva gradually rolls into silk threads" -> "larva gradually spins silk threads"
   Explanation: "Spins" is a more accurate verb to describe the process of a silkworm creating silk threads, as they do not physically roll into them.

4. "which they created for 4 to 6 weeks" -> "which it produces for 4 to 6 weeks"
   Explanation: The pronoun "it" is more appropriate to refer to a singular noun like "larva." Using "produces" instead of "created" also enhances the precision of the description.

5. "emerge with new appearance of a mature moth" -> "emerges with the appearance of a mature moth"
   Explanation: The verb "emerges" agrees with the singular subject "larva," and the phrase "with the appearance of a mature moth" is more concise and clear than "with new appearance of a mature moth."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

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Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the silkworm life cycle. However, there are some inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the information presented. The format is somewhat inappropriate with errors in grammar and sentence structure.
How to improve: To improve, focus on accurately presenting the main stages of the silkworm life cycle. Ensure that the information is clear, relevant, and free from inaccuracies. Work on improving grammar and sentence structure to enhance the overall clarity of the essay.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. The essay does summarize the main features of the silkworm life cycle, but the progression between the stages could be clearer. Additionally, there is some repetition in the use of language and lack of referencing and substitution, which affects the overall coherence.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a clear and logical progression between the stages of the silkworm life cycle. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that cohesive devices are used accurately and appropriately. Make sure to reference and substitute information effectively to avoid redundancy. Lastly, consider organizing the essay into clear paragraphs to enhance the overall structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with some attempts to use less common vocabulary. The essay describes the various stages of the silkworm life cycle using a mix of common and slightly more advanced vocabulary. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "thể" instead of "there" and "commencing" instead of "beginning." Additionally, there are some errors in word formation, such as "4 to 6 weeks later" instead of "after 4 to 6 weeks."

How to improve: To improve the Lexical Resource score, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices. Pay attention to collocations and word formation to ensure accuracy in language use. Consider using more sophisticated vocabulary and expressions to convey ideas more effectively. Additionally, proofreading for errors in spelling and word formation can help enhance the overall lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates the use of a limited range of structures with some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay lacks complexity in sentence structures and contains frequent grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. The errors in grammar and punctuation predominate throughout the essay, affecting the overall clarity and coherence of the writing.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex forms. Additionally, paying closer attention to grammar rules and punctuation usage will help reduce errors and improve the overall clarity of the essay. Proofreading and editing for grammar and punctuation mistakes before submitting the final version can also help enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram depicts the life cycle of a silkworm, showcasing four main stages from egg to mature moth.

In the initial phase, silkworm eggs are deposited on a mulberry leaf by an adult butterfly. Following a 10-day incubation period, the eggs hatch, giving rise to silkworm larvae that feed on the mulberry leaf for nourishment.

Subsequently, approximately 4 to 6 weeks later, the larvae begin spinning silk threads around themselves, a process that lasts for another 4 to 6 weeks until they are entirely encased in a silk cocoon.

Finally, after nearly 16 days, the mature larva emerges from its cocoon as a fully developed moth. The moth then proceeds to lay eggs on the mulberry leaf, restarting the silkworm life cycle.

Overall, the diagram illustrates the intricate stages of development that a silkworm undergoes, from egg to mature moth, in a continuous cycle.