The diagram shows the stages in the cultivation and management of a forest. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows the stages in the cultivation and management of a forest.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make
comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the stages in the cultivation and management of a forest. Overall, forest cultivation involves a number of different stages and each stage has its own complexities.
The process begins with Land preparation, which necessitates the worker to prepare the saplings. After having sufficient materials, the worker planted the saplings by making use of tools. When the trees reach a certain age, the worker pruning several branches for others rises up and absorbs sunlight to enhance. The final step in cultivating is harvesting the produce, that is felling trees for different purposes, the trees after being harvested are processed onsite for classifying. Transportation is an indispensable part of the process of bringing timber to the factories such as the pulp mill, which produces papers and cardboard for human needs, moreover, trees after being transported to the sawmill are kiln dried for creating wood products. This cyclical process ensures that forest trees are continuously managed, providing enough materials for industry and production.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The diagram illustrates the stages in the cultivation and management of a forest." -> "The diagram depicts the stages involved in the cultivation and management of a forest."
Explanation: Replacing "illustrates" with "depicts" provides a more precise and formal term suitable for academic writing, enhancing the description of the diagram.
"necessitates the worker to prepare the saplings" -> "requires the worker to prepare the saplings"
Explanation: "Necessitates" is slightly formal but can be improved by using "requires" which is more direct and commonly used in formal academic contexts.
"After having sufficient materials, the worker planted the saplings by making use of tools." -> "Once sufficient materials are available, the worker plants the saplings using tools."
Explanation: "After having sufficient materials" is awkward and informal; "Once sufficient materials are available" is more concise and formal. Also, "plants" should be used instead of "planted" for the present tense, and "using" is more appropriate than "by making use of."
"the worker pruning several branches for others rises up and absorbs sunlight to enhance" -> "the worker prunes several branches to allow others to rise and absorb sunlight, thereby enhancing"
Explanation: "Pruning" should be "prunes" for the present tense, and "for others rises up and absorbs sunlight to enhance" is awkward and unclear. The revised version clarifies the action and uses more formal language.
"the final step in cultivating is harvesting the produce, that is felling trees for different purposes" -> "the final step in cultivation involves harvesting the produce, which includes felling trees for various purposes"
Explanation: "Cultivating" should be "cultivation" for consistency with the plural form "steps." "That is" is informal and can be replaced with "which," and "different purposes" is vague; "various purposes" is more precise.
"the trees after being harvested are processed onsite for classifying" -> "the harvested trees are processed on-site for classification"
Explanation: "The trees after being harvested" is redundant; "the harvested trees" is more direct. "Onsite" should be "on-site" for grammatical correctness, and "for classifying" is awkward; "for classification" is more formal.
"Transportation is an indispensable part of the process of bringing timber to the factories such as the pulp mill, which produces papers and cardboard for human needs" -> "Transportation is a crucial component of the process of delivering timber to factories such as the pulp mill, which manufactures paper and cardboard for human consumption"
Explanation: "Indispensable part" is slightly informal; "crucial component" is more precise. "For human needs" is vague; "for human consumption" is more specific and formal.
"trees after being transported to the sawmill are kiln dried for creating wood products" -> "trees transported to the sawmill are kiln-dried to produce wood products"
Explanation: "Trees after being transported" is redundant; "trees transported" is more concise. "For creating" is informal; "to produce" is more direct and formal.
"This cyclical process ensures that forest trees are continuously managed, providing enough materials for industry and production." -> "This cyclical process ensures continuous management of forest trees, thereby providing sufficient materials for industry and production."
Explanation: "Ensures that forest trees are continuously managed" is redundant; "ensures continuous management of forest trees" is more concise. "Providing enough materials" is less formal; "providing sufficient materials" is more precise and formal.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the stages in the cultivation and management of a forest. Instead, it recounts details mechanically, with no clear overview. The essay also does not adequately cover all of the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay does not mention the process of thinning, which is an important part of forest management.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the stages in the cultivation and management of a forest. The essay should also cover all of the key features/bullet points in the diagram. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language and avoiding unnecessary repetition. For example, the essay could be improved by replacing the phrase "the worker" with more specific terms, such as "forester" or "farmer." The essay could also be improved by using more concise language. For example, the phrase "the trees after being harvested are processed onsite for classifying" could be replaced with the more concise phrase "trees are processed onsite."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents a coherent overview of the stages involved in forest cultivation and management. There is a clear overall progression from land preparation to harvesting and transportation. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, with phrases like "the final step" and "an indispensable part" lacking variety. Additionally, there are instances where referencing could be clearer, such as in the transition from discussing the harvesting process to the transportation of timber. While paragraphing is present, it does not always follow a logical structure, which affects the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should vary their use of cohesive devices and ensure that transitions between ideas are smoother. Improving the logical structure of paragraphs and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic will also contribute to a higher band score. Additionally, using more precise referencing can help clarify relationships between different stages of the process.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, using terms like "cultivation," "saplings," "harvesting," and "transportation." However, the use of less common vocabulary is limited, and there are inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "worker pruning several branches for others rises up," which is awkwardly phrased. Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "making use of tools" which could be more concisely expressed. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they do detract from the overall clarity and precision of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary, particularly less common lexical items, and ensure that word choices are precise and contextually appropriate. Additionally, focusing on grammatical accuracy and refining awkward phrases will improve clarity. Regular practice with synonyms and collocations, along with proofreading for spelling and formation errors, will also contribute to a higher score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While there are some attempts at complex structures, the grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are noticeable errors, such as "the worker pruning several branches for others rises up and absorbs sunlight to enhance," which affects clarity. However, these errors do not significantly impede communication, allowing the main ideas to be understood.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on improving grammatical accuracy and control over complex structures. This can be done by proofreading for common errors, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and refining sentence constructions for clarity. Additionally, incorporating a wider range of sentence types and ensuring that complex sentences are correctly formed will enhance the overall grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram illustrates the stages in the cultivation and management of a forest. Overall, forest cultivation involves several distinct stages, each with its own complexities.

The process begins with land preparation, which requires the worker to ready the saplings. Once sufficient materials are available, the worker plants the saplings using various tools. As the trees mature, the worker prunes several branches to allow others to grow taller and absorb sunlight more effectively. The final step in cultivation is harvesting the produce, which involves felling trees for different purposes. After harvesting, the trees are processed onsite for classification.

Transportation is an essential part of the process, as it involves bringing timber to factories such as the pulp mill, which produces paper and cardboard for human needs. Furthermore, trees transported to the sawmill undergo kiln drying to create wood products. This cyclical process ensures that forest trees are continuously managed, providing adequate materials for industry and production.