The diagram shows the stages involved in the process of making apple juice Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram shows the stages involved in the process of making apple juice
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant

The provided diagrams depict the production process of apple juice.
As indicated in the picture, the process encompasses a variety of steps, commencing with the gathering and choosing the fruit and terminating with the delivery of finished products.
Initially, qualified apples from the trees are harvested and selected, after which they go through an automatic belt and are washed and sorted. Subsequently, the classified apples are sliced in an apple grinder. Following this,these apple slices are put into a pressing machine where water is separated from the apple by a centrifuge to prepare for the imminent stages.
The process proceeds with the concentration of apples being combined with aroma by a special machine to enhance the smell. Afterwards, this liquid undergoes a filtration and an 80-degree Celsius pasteurization stage.Finally, the completed apple juice is divided into multiple bottles, which designates them to be packaged as final products prior to being sold on the markets.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "commencing with the gathering and choosing" -> "beginning with the harvesting and selection"
   Explanation: "Commencing" is a formal term, but "beginning" is simpler and more commonly used. "Gathering and choosing" can be replaced with "harvesting and selection" for clarity and specificity.

2. "qualified apples" -> "ripe apples"
   Explanation: "Qualified" is not typically used to describe fruit; "ripe" more accurately conveys the stage of readiness of the apples.

3. "automatic belt" -> "conveyor belt"
   Explanation: "Automatic belt" is not incorrect, but "conveyor belt" is a more precise and commonly used term in this context.

4. "Following this, these apple slices" -> "Subsequently, these apple slices"
   Explanation: "Following this" is redundant with "subsequently." Using "subsequently" alone maintains clarity and conciseness.

5. "centrifuge to prepare for the imminent stages" -> "centrifuge to prepare for subsequent stages"
   Explanation: "Imminent" suggests something about to happen soon, which may not be the intended meaning. "Subsequent" accurately indicates the stages that follow.

6. "the concentration of apples being combined with aroma" -> "the apple concentrate being infused with aroma"
   Explanation: "Concentration of apples" is unclear; "apple concentrate" is more precise. "Combined with aroma" can be replaced with "infused with aroma" for clarity and elegance.

7. "filtration and an 80-degree Celsius pasteurization stage" -> "filtration followed by pasteurization at 80 degrees Celsius"
   Explanation: Rearranging the sentence structure for clarity. Using "followed by" emphasizes the sequence of actions.

8. "designates them to be packaged" -> "designates them for packaging"
   Explanation: "To be packaged" is slightly awkward; "for packaging" is simpler and clearer.

9. "sold on the markets" -> "sold in the market"
   Explanation: "Markets" can refer to specific locations, while "the market" is a more general term for where goods are sold.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main stages involved in the process of making apple juice. It presents and highlights key features, such as harvesting, washing, sorting, slicing, pressing, concentrating, adding aroma, filtration, pasteurization, bottling, and packaging. However, some details could be more fully extended, such as the specific equipment used in each stage or the duration of each process.
How to improve: To improve, you could provide more specific details about the equipment used in each stage of the process and the duration or specific temperature requirements for certain steps. This would enhance the clarity and depth of your description, better meeting the criteria for a higher band score. Also, ensure that the overview is more fully developed, providing a comprehensive summary of the entire process.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, with clear progression throughout the text. Each stage of the apple juice production process is described in a sequential manner, from harvesting and selecting the apples to the final packaging of the juice. The essay effectively presents a central topic within each paragraph, focusing on different stages of the process. Additionally, a range of cohesive devices is used appropriately to connect ideas and maintain coherence, such as transitional phrases like "Subsequently" and "Following this."

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion further, consider using a wider variety of cohesive devices to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure consistency in the level of detail provided for each stage of the process to maintain a balanced and cohesive structure throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary throughout, with varied expressions used to describe the stages of apple juice production. The writer employs terms such as "production process," "harvested," "classified," "concentration," "filtration," and "pasteurization," which contribute to lexical diversity. Additionally, there is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "centrifuge," "aroma," and "imminent," demonstrating some awareness of style and collocation. While there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as "the concentration of apples being combined with aroma" which could be more precisely stated, they do not significantly impede understanding.

How to improve:
To further enhance lexical resource, the writer can aim for more precision and accuracy in word choice and collocation. Avoiding ambiguous phrases like "the concentration of apples being combined with aroma" and opting for clearer expressions would elevate the sophistication of vocabulary use. Additionally, incorporating a wider range of less common lexical items and idiomatic expressions could strengthen the essay’s lexical richness.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and punctuation, with a variety of complex structures used throughout. The essay effectively utilizes a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, contributing to a coherent presentation of ideas. The majority of sentences are error-free, with occasional minor errors present. Overall, the essay maintains clarity and coherence in conveying the production process of apple juice.

How to improve: To further enhance grammatical range and accuracy, ensure consistency in verb tense usage throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to subject-verb agreement to minimize any minor errors that may occur. Incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures could also elevate the essay to a higher band score. Finally, thorough proofreading can help catch any remaining minor errors and ensure flawless communication.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided diagrams illustrate the sequential stages involved in the production process of apple juice.

The process begins with the harvesting and selection of ripe apples from the trees. These apples then undergo washing and sorting on an automatic belt. Following this, the sorted apples are sliced using an apple grinder.

Next, the sliced apples are fed into a pressing machine where centrifugal force separates the water from the apples, preparing them for subsequent stages.

The concentrated apple extract is then combined with aroma using a specialized machine to enhance its fragrance. Subsequently, the liquid undergoes filtration and pasteurization at 80 degrees Celsius.

Finally, the processed apple juice is packaged into multiple bottles, ready for distribution and sale in the market.