The diagrams below show changes in Felixstowe in the UK between 1967 and 2001.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant.

The figure illustrates the variation in Felixstowe in the UK from the year 1967 to 2001.

overall,the town is going to experience significant changes after the reformation of additional facilities in the year to come.

Coming to the notion,the farmland had completely replaced by hotel with swimming pool and table tennis next to it. Similarly ,one shop next to the high street had upgraded to 8 storey building and another had replaced to apartment.However ,there is no change in golf course ,cafe and dunes.

Moreover, the fish market had removed and been took place by the private beach. After the modification,the Marine and Pier had completely cut off and replaced by public beach. In addition,the hotel next to the cafe added its own parking area.More trees around wind turbines were planted.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The figure illustrates" -> "The diagram depicts"
Explanation: "Diagram" is a more precise term than "figure" when referring to a visual representation in academic contexts, enhancing the formality and specificity of the language.
"The town is going to experience significant changes" -> "The town is expected to undergo significant transformations"
Explanation: "Expected to undergo" is more formal and precise than "going to experience," aligning better with academic style by implying a predicted outcome based on evidence or analysis.
"after the reformation of additional facilities in the year to come" -> "following the introduction of new facilities in the forthcoming period"
Explanation: "Introduction of new facilities" is more specific than "reformation of additional facilities," and "forthcoming period" is a more formal way to refer to the future than "the year to come."
"the farmland had completely replaced by hotel" -> "the farmland was completely replaced by a hotel"
Explanation: Adding "a" before "hotel" corrects the grammatical error, and "was" is the correct verb form for past tense.
"with swimming pool and table tennis next to it" -> "featuring a swimming pool and table tennis facilities adjacent"
Explanation: "Featuring" and "facilities adjacent" are more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone.
"one shop next to the high street had upgraded to 8 storey building" -> "a shop adjacent to the high street was upgraded to an eight-story building"
Explanation: "A shop adjacent to" is more specific and formal, and "eight-story" should be hyphenated for correct usage.
"another had replaced to apartment" -> "another was converted into an apartment"
Explanation: "Was converted into" is grammatically correct and more formal than "had replaced to."
"there is no change in golf course,cafe and dunes" -> "there was no change to the golf course, cafe, and dunes"
Explanation: "Was no change to" corrects the grammatical structure, and the commas are properly used to separate items in a list.
"the fish market had removed and been took place by the private beach" -> "the fish market was removed and replaced by a private beach"
Explanation: "Was removed and replaced" corrects the verb tense and structure, and "a private beach" is grammatically correct.
"After the modification,the Marine and Pier had completely cut off and replaced by public beach" -> "Following the modifications, the Marine and Pier were completely removed and replaced by a public beach"
Explanation: "Following the modifications" is more formal than "After the modification," and "were completely removed and replaced" corrects the verb tense and structure.
"In addition,the hotel next to the cafe added its own parking area" -> "Additionally, the hotel adjacent to the cafe added its own parking area"
Explanation: "Additionally" is more formal than "In addition," and "adjacent to" is a more precise spatial reference.
"More trees around wind turbines were planted" -> "Further trees were planted around the wind turbines"
Explanation: "Further" is more formal than "More," and rephrasing to "around the wind turbines" clarifies the location.

These changes enhance the formal and academic tone of the essay, ensuring clarity, precision, and adherence to formal language conventions.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by listing some of the changes that occurred in Felixstowe between 1967 and 2001. However, the essay does not cover all key features/bullet points. For example, the essay does not mention the addition of a car park and wind turbines. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "the farmland had completely replaced by hotel with swimming pool and table tennis next to it," which is not a key feature but a detail.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more comprehensive overview of the changes that occurred in Felixstowe. The essay should also focus on key features/bullet points rather than details. For example, the essay could state that "the farmland was replaced by a hotel with swimming pool and tennis courts," rather than "the farmland had completely replaced by hotel with swimming pool and table tennis next to it." The essay should also be more accurate in its description of the changes. For example, the essay states that "the fish market had removed and been took place by the private beach," which is not accurate. The fish market was replaced by a private beach, but it was not removed.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay presents some information about the changes in Felixstowe, but it lacks coherent organization and clear progression. The ideas are not arranged logically, making it difficult for the reader to follow the narrative. The use of cohesive devices is basic and often inaccurate, leading to confusion in understanding the relationships between ideas. Additionally, there are issues with paragraphing, as the essay does not effectively separate different points or ideas into distinct paragraphs.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing ideas logically and ensuring a clear progression throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using appropriate paragraphing to separate different aspects of the changes in Felixstowe. Furthermore, the use of cohesive devices should be varied and applied correctly to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Providing clear topic sentences for each paragraph can also help in presenting a central idea, making the essay easier to follow. Lastly, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will improve the overall quality of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the changes in Felixstowe, the vocabulary used is often basic and repetitive. There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as "the farmland had completely replaced by hotel," which should be "the farmland had been completely replaced by a hotel." Additionally, there are several grammatical issues and awkward phrases that hinder clarity, such as "had removed and been took place by." These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended message.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices. Incorporating less common lexical items and ensuring correct collocations would improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure will help avoid confusion and enhance clarity. Practicing with synonyms and varying sentence constructions can also contribute to a more sophisticated use of language.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures and contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. While there are attempts to use complex sentences, these are often inaccurate, leading to confusion. For example, phrases like "had completely replaced by hotel" and "been took place by the private beach" indicate a misunderstanding of verb forms and sentence structure. Additionally, punctuation errors, such as the absence of spaces after commas and inconsistent capitalization, detract from the overall readability. Overall, while the essay communicates some ideas, the frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader.

How to improve:

Enhance Sentence Structure: Practice using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex forms, and ensure that they are grammatically correct. For example, instead of "had completely replaced by hotel," use "had been completely replaced by a hotel."
Focus on Verb Tenses: Review the correct use of verb tenses and forms, particularly in passive constructions. For instance, "been took place" should be corrected to "been replaced."
Punctuation and Capitalization: Pay attention to punctuation rules, such as using commas correctly and ensuring proper capitalization at the beginning of sentences and for proper nouns.
Proofreading: After writing, take time to proofread the essay to catch and correct any grammatical errors or awkward phrasing before submission.
Practice Writing: Regularly practice writing essays on various topics to build confidence and improve grammatical accuracy over time.

Bài sửa mẫu

The figure illustrates the variation in Felixstowe in the UK from the year 1967 to 2001.

Overall, the town experienced significant changes due to the introduction of additional facilities over the years.

In terms of specific changes, the farmland was completely replaced by a hotel with a swimming pool and a table tennis area next to it. Similarly, one shop next to the high street was upgraded to an 8-storey building, while another was replaced by an apartment. However, there was no change in the golf course, café, and dunes.

Moreover, the fish market was removed and replaced by a private beach. After the modifications, the Marine and Pier were completely cut off and replaced by a public beach. In addition, the hotel next to the café added its own parking area. More trees were also planted around the wind turbines.