The diagrams compare the existing and proposed layouts of a gallery, illustrating changes aimed at enhancing its functionality and space efficiency.
The diagrams compare the existing and proposed layouts of a gallery, illustrating changes aimed at enhancing its functionality and space efficiency.
The diagrams compare the existing and proposed layouts of a gallery, illustrating changes aimed at enhancing its functionality and space efficiency.
Overall, the proposed plan features several significant changes, including the addition of a special exhibition space and education area, while also expanding the permanent exhibition space.
In the existing plan, the gallery consists of a permanent exhibition area and two temporary exhibition spaces. The lobby and office are located near the entrance, while a large portion of the building is not part of the gallery. The current layout lacks dedicated spaces for special exhibitions or educational activities.
In the proposed layout, the gallery undergoes several modifications. The permanent exhibition space is expanded, while the two temporary spaces are replaced by a new education area on the right side near the lobby. Additionally, a special exhibition space and exhibition store are introduced on the left, utilizing areas that were previously not part of the gallery.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"the proposed plan features several significant changes" -> "the proposed plan incorporates several notable modifications"
Explanation: "Incorporates" is more formal than "features," and "notable modifications" conveys a sense of importance while maintaining an academic tone. -
"the addition of a special exhibition space and education area" -> "the inclusion of a dedicated special exhibition space and an educational area"
Explanation: "Inclusion" is more precise than "addition," and "dedicated" emphasizes the specific purpose of the space. "Educational area" is more formal than "education area." -
"the current layout lacks dedicated spaces for special exhibitions or educational activities" -> "the current layout does not provide designated areas for special exhibitions or educational activities"
Explanation: "Does not provide" is more formal than "lacks," and "designated areas" is a more precise term that conveys the intended meaning clearly. -
"the gallery undergoes several modifications" -> "the gallery experiences several modifications"
Explanation: "Experiences" is a more formal and precise verb choice that conveys the process of change without implying a passive transformation. -
"utilizing areas that were previously not part of the gallery" -> "utilizing areas that were previously excluded from the gallery"
Explanation: "Excluded" is a more precise term than "not part of," which enhances clarity and formality in the context of the essay.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6
Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the changes in the gallery layout. It presents information appropriately selected, highlighting key features such as the addition of a special exhibition space and education area, and the expansion of the permanent exhibition space. However, the essay lacks detail and could be more fully extended. For example, it could provide more specific information about the size and location of the new spaces, or the types of exhibits that will be displayed in them.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes in the gallery layout. For example, the writer could mention the dimensions of the new spaces, the types of exhibits that will be displayed in them, or the materials that will be used in their construction. The writer could also provide more information about the purpose of the changes, such as how they will enhance the functionality and space efficiency of the gallery.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph focuses on specific aspects of the gallery’s layout, with a clear central topic in each. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are moments where the connections between sentences could be more fluid. Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, but there is room for improvement in the variety and effectiveness of cohesive devices.
How to improve: To enhance the score, the writer could work on varying the cohesive devices used to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next would strengthen the overall coherence. More explicit referencing to previous points could also help to clarify relationships between ideas and improve the logical flow of the essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, such as "permanent exhibition area," "temporary exhibition spaces," and "special exhibition space." However, the use of less common vocabulary is limited, and there are instances where word choice could be more precise (e.g., "utilizing areas that were previously not part of the gallery" could be expressed more succinctly). While there are no significant errors that impede communication, there are minor inaccuracies in word formation that could be improved.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary, particularly less common lexical items, and ensure precise word choice. Additionally, focusing on avoiding any minor errors in spelling or word formation will contribute to a higher score. Engaging with synonyms and more sophisticated expressions related to the topic could also elevate the overall quality of the essay.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and maintains a good level of grammatical control. Most sentences are error-free, indicating a solid understanding of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors and some awkward phrasing that slightly detract from overall accuracy. The use of complex structures is evident, but the essay could benefit from a wider range of grammatical forms to reach a higher band score.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader variety of sentence structures, including more complex and compound sentences. Additionally, reviewing and correcting any minor errors or awkward phrases will improve clarity and precision. Practicing with more diverse grammatical forms and ensuring that all sentences are error-free will help in achieving a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
The diagrams compare the existing and proposed layouts of a gallery, illustrating changes aimed at enhancing its functionality and space efficiency.
Overall, the proposed plan features several significant changes, including the addition of a dedicated special exhibition space and an education area, while also expanding the permanent exhibition space.
In the existing plan, the gallery consists of a permanent exhibition area and two temporary exhibition spaces. The lobby and office are situated near the entrance, while a substantial portion of the building is not designated as part of the gallery. The current layout lacks specific areas for special exhibitions or educational activities.
In the proposed layout, the gallery undergoes several modifications. The permanent exhibition space is enlarged, while the two temporary spaces are replaced by a new education area located on the right side near the lobby. Additionally, a special exhibition space and an exhibition store are introduced on the left, utilizing areas that were previously not included in the gallery.
Phản hồi