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The expansion of multinational companies and increase in globalization produce positive effects for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (Agree or Disagree

The expansion of multinational companies and increase in
globalization produce positive effects for everyone. To what extent do you
agree or disagree with this statement? (Agree or Disagree

The extension of international companies and the explosion of globalization trend globalizing trend do benefit for human beings. For the tendency of cultural crossing in many nations and its help for economic development, I strongly believe this statement.
First of all, national to multinational corporations and Globalization enhance cultural crossing trend. With international business, many people from different nations have more chance to communicate and share opinions. Furthermore, it also increase knowledge about various cultures which can be beneficial to travel enthusiasts and the businessman who always travel abroad. For example, in Asia, people have to put off their shoes to show their respect to the house owners or different from the Westerners, hugging a opposite gender person is impolite in Asia. As a result, with the cultural crossing, a foreign will less likely to be in hot water when traveling of to other nations.
Another reason for my beeld belief that is beneficial event phenomenon is other its positive effect on economic development areas. Globalization connects nations' economic which significantly strengthen the partnerships among them. That means there will be more and may more business contracts which benefit both sides in economic advancement. The most appropriate example is the agreements between developed and developing countries. Many wealthy nations like USA or United kingdom yearly invest a huge amount of funding into less wealthier nations such as Southern Africa help them go over economical hardships and fammie.
To recapitulate, globalization and multinational cooperations provide chance to people to each other better and lend a helping hand if they need.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "The extension of international companies and the explosion of globalization trend globalizing trend do benefit for human beings." -> "The expansion of international companies and the trend of globalization benefit humanity."
    Explanation: "The extension" is less precise than "the expansion," which is more commonly used in academic contexts to describe the growth of businesses. "Globalization trend globalizing trend" is redundant and awkward; "the trend of globalization" is more natural and clear. "Do benefit for human beings" is grammatically incorrect and informal; "benefit humanity" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  2. "For the tendency of cultural crossing in many nations and its help for economic development, I strongly believe this statement." -> "Given the trend of cultural exchange across many nations and its contribution to economic development, I strongly support this assertion."
    Explanation: "The tendency of cultural crossing" is awkward and unclear; "the trend of cultural exchange" is more precise and commonly used. "Its help for" is informal and vague; "its contribution to" is more specific and formal. "I strongly believe this statement" is informal and imprecise; "I strongly support this assertion" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.

  3. "national to multinational corporations and Globalization enhance cultural crossing trend." -> "the shift from national to multinational corporations and globalization enhances the cultural exchange trend."
    Explanation: "national to multinational corporations" is grammatically incorrect; "the shift from national to multinational corporations" is grammatically correct and clearer. "Enhance cultural crossing trend" is awkward and unclear; "enhances the cultural exchange trend" is more precise and formal.

  4. "With international business, many people from different nations have more chance to communicate and share opinions." -> "Through international business, individuals from diverse nations have more opportunities to communicate and share perspectives."
    Explanation: "Many people" is vague; "individuals" is more specific and formal. "Have more chance" is informal and imprecise; "have more opportunities" is more formal and precise. "Share opinions" is somewhat informal; "share perspectives" is more academically appropriate.

  5. "it also increase knowledge about various cultures" -> "it also increases knowledge about various cultures"
    Explanation: "Increase" should be "increases" to agree with the singular subject "it."

  6. "the businessman who always travel abroad" -> "businesspeople who frequently travel abroad"
    Explanation: "The businessman" is singular and informal; "businesspeople" is plural and more formal. "Always travel" is too absolute and informal; "frequently travel" is more precise and formal.

  7. "put off their shoes to show their respect to the house owners" -> "remove their shoes as a sign of respect to the homeowners"
    Explanation: "Put off their shoes" is informal and unclear; "remove their shoes" is more direct and formal. "House owners" is awkward and informal; "homeowners" is the correct term.

  8. "hugging a opposite gender person is impolite in Asia" -> "hugging someone of the opposite gender is considered impolite in Asia"
    Explanation: "A opposite gender person" is awkward and grammatically incorrect; "someone of the opposite gender" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  9. "a foreign will less likely to be in hot water" -> "a foreigner is less likely to get into trouble"
    Explanation: "A foreign" is grammatically incorrect; "a foreigner" is the correct noun form. "In hot water" is idiomatic and informal; "get into trouble" is more formal and clear.

  10. "beneficial event phenomenon" -> "beneficial phenomenon"
    Explanation: "Beneficial event phenomenon" is redundant; "beneficial phenomenon" is sufficient and more concise.

  11. "Globalization connects nations’ economic" -> "Globalization connects the economies of nations"
    Explanation: "Nations’ economic" is grammatically incorrect; "the economies of nations" is grammatically correct and clearer.

  12. "may more business contracts" -> "more business contracts"
    Explanation: "May more" is grammatically incorrect; "more" is the correct comparative form needed here.

  13. "less wealthier nations" -> "less affluent nations"
    Explanation: "Less wealthier" is grammatically incorrect; "less affluent" is the correct comparative form.

  14. "fammie" -> "famine"
    Explanation: "Fammie" is a typographical error; "famine" is the correct term.

  15. "lend a helping hand if they need" -> "offer assistance when needed"
    Explanation: "Lend a helping hand" is idiomatic and informal; "offer assistance" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by agreeing with the statement that the expansion of multinational companies and globalization produce positive effects. The author presents two main arguments: the enhancement of cultural exchange and the positive impact on economic development. However, the essay could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the extent to which the author agrees, as it currently presents a one-sided view without acknowledging potential counterarguments.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should consider briefly acknowledging opposing views or potential drawbacks of globalization and multinational corporations. This could involve discussing how these entities might negatively impact local cultures or economies, thereby providing a more balanced perspective.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The author maintains a clear position that supports the benefits of globalization and multinational corporations. However, the phrasing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase "the explosion of globalization trend," which could confuse readers. Additionally, the transition between points could be smoother to reinforce the author’s stance.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity, the author should use more precise language and avoid vague expressions. Clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help reinforce the position and guide the reader through the argument. Transition phrases can also be employed to connect ideas more fluidly.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas, particularly with examples related to cultural exchange and economic development. However, the examples provided lack depth and clarity. For instance, the cultural example about shoe removal is somewhat muddled and could be articulated more effectively. Similarly, the economic argument could benefit from more specific data or examples to substantiate the claims made.
    • How to improve: The author should aim to elaborate on each point with clearer, more detailed examples. Providing statistics, specific case studies, or more vivid illustrations of the benefits of globalization would strengthen the argument. Additionally, ensuring that examples are directly relevant to the points being made will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of globalization and multinational corporations. However, there are moments where the writing strays into vague or unrelated territory, such as the phrase "lend a helping hand if they need," which lacks specificity and relevance to the main arguments presented.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every sentence contributes directly to the main argument. Avoiding general statements and instead providing specific, relevant examples will help keep the essay tightly aligned with the prompt. A clear outline before writing could also help in organizing thoughts and ensuring that all points are relevant to the topic at hand.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in clarity, depth of analysis, and acknowledgment of counterarguments could elevate the score further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of globalization and multinational corporations, which is a strength. The introduction outlines the writer’s position, and the body paragraphs provide supporting points. However, the logical flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For instance, the transition from discussing cultural exchange to economic development lacks a clear connective statement, which can confuse readers about how these ideas relate to one another.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "In addition," "Moreover," or "Conversely" can help clarify the relationship between ideas. For example, after discussing cultural exchange, the writer could introduce the economic benefits with a phrase like, "In addition to cultural benefits, globalization also plays a crucial role in economic development."
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a positive aspect. However, the paragraphing could be more effective. The first paragraph combines multiple ideas about cultural exchange without clearly delineating them, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument. The second paragraph also suffers from a lack of clear structure, as it introduces examples without fully developing the ideas presented.
    • How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. For instance, the first paragraph could be split into two: one focusing solely on cultural exchange and the other on the benefits of economic development. This would allow for deeper exploration of each point and improve clarity. Additionally, concluding each paragraph with a sentence that summarizes the main point can reinforce the argument and aid reader comprehension.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "first of all" and "to recapitulate," which help guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as "the explosion of globalization trend" and "the businessman who always travel abroad." These issues can detract from the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a broader range of linking words and phrases. For example, using "for instance," "in contrast," or "as a result" can enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, revising awkward phrases for clarity will improve cohesion. For instance, instead of "the explosion of globalization trend," a clearer phrase could be "the rapid expansion of globalization."

Overall, while the essay presents a coherent argument and demonstrates an understanding of the topic, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and coherence, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of globalization and multinational companies. Phrases such as "cultural crossing," "economic development," and "business contracts" indicate an attempt to use topic-specific language. However, there are instances of repetitive vocabulary, such as "beneficial" and "help," which detracts from the overall lexical variety. For example, the phrase "the explosion of globalization trend" is awkward and could be expressed more clearly.
    • How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "beneficial," alternatives like "advantageous," "favorable," or "constructive" could be employed. Additionally, varying sentence structures and using more complex phrases would contribute to a richer vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the businessman who always travel abroad" should be "businessmen who travel abroad" to ensure grammatical accuracy and clarity. The term "cultural crossing" is somewhat vague and could be replaced with "cultural exchange" for better precision. Furthermore, the phrase "a foreign will less likely to be in hot water" is unclear and incorrectly structured.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing word choices and ensuring they fit the context. For example, instead of "a foreign," the writer could specify "a foreign traveler." Additionally, using collocations correctly (e.g., "to be in hot water" instead of "to be in hot water when traveling of to other nations") would enhance clarity.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that impact readability and professionalism. Words such as "beeld" (should be "belief"), "fammie" (should be "famine"), and "cooperations" (should be "cooperations") reflect a lack of attention to spelling accuracy. These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing exercises focused on commonly misspelled words. Utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading the essay multiple times before submission can also help catch errors. Additionally, reading more widely can improve familiarity with correct spelling and usage.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary related to globalization and multinational companies, there is significant room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary, ensuring precise word choices, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt at using a variety of sentence structures, but it largely relies on simple and compound sentences. For example, phrases like "First of all" and "Another reason for my belief" indicate an attempt to structure arguments, but the overall complexity is lacking. Sentences such as "Globalization connects nations’ economic which significantly strengthen the partnerships among them" are awkwardly constructed and contain grammatical errors, which detracts from the overall clarity and sophistication of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses and varied conjunctions. For instance, instead of saying "Globalization connects nations’ economic," the writer could say, "Because globalization connects the economies of nations, it significantly strengthens partnerships among them." This not only improves grammatical range but also adds depth to the arguments presented.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder comprehension. For example, phrases like "the explosion of globalization trend globalizing trend" are confusing and repetitive. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "it also increase knowledge," where "increase" should be "increases." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect use of articles, further complicate the readability of the essay.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. For instance, revising "the businessman who always travel abroad" to "the businessmen who always travel abroad" would correct the subject-verb agreement issue. Furthermore, the writer should practice proofreading for punctuation, ensuring that commas are used appropriately to separate clauses and enhance clarity. Engaging in grammar exercises focused on common errors can also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear position on the topic, the grammatical range and accuracy need significant improvement to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety and grammatical precision will enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The expansion of international companies and the explosion of globalization do benefit human beings. Given the trend of cultural exchange in many nations and its contribution to economic development, I strongly believe this statement.

First of all, the shift from national to multinational corporations and globalization enhances the cultural exchange trend. With international business, many people from different nations have more opportunities to communicate and share opinions. Furthermore, it also increases knowledge about various cultures, which can be beneficial to travel enthusiasts and businesspeople who frequently travel abroad. For example, in Asia, people have to remove their shoes to show their respect to the homeowners, and, unlike in the West, hugging someone of the opposite gender is considered impolite in Asia. As a result, with cultural exchange, a foreigner is less likely to get into trouble when traveling to other nations.

Another reason for my belief that this is a beneficial phenomenon is its positive effect on economic development. Globalization connects the economies of nations, which significantly strengthens the partnerships among them. This means there will be more business contracts that benefit both sides in economic advancement. The most appropriate example is the agreements between developed and developing countries. Many wealthy nations, like the USA or the United Kingdom, invest a huge amount of funding into less affluent nations such as Southern Africa to help them overcome economic hardships and famine.

To recapitulate, globalization and multinational corporations provide opportunities for people to understand each other better and lend a helping hand when needed.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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