The expansion of multinational companies and the increase in globalization produce positive effects for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Integration and globalization change several aspects of society, especially the growth of foreign companies that positively impact citizens. Personally, I totally agree with this suggestion for some major reasons that are explained in this essay.

To start with, there are some benefits from the overseas businesses when they invest. Firstly, multinational companies might invest numerous capital resources and devices to serve production. In countries where the economy relies almost on agriculture, international funds play a crucial role in the involutional economic processes because their equipment is applied mostly for cultivation, therefore, foreign companies can supply them with modern equipment and investment. As a result, they help increase productivity and affection on production with high-quality goods, which leads to promoting economic growth. For example, Vietnam started globalization in 2017 and encouraged multinational companies to invest and develop, from that, their economy improved and stayed in the economic potential in Southeast Asia rank.

Secondly, the expansion of international companies brings merits to residents. Big groups might build their factories and branches in the countries they want to expand. In regions that have the potential for human resources, these factories and companies have the ability to help citizens have stable jobs and solve unemployment. Therefore, humans’ living conditions will be enhanced which is an important factor in a sustainable economy. Thailand is a typical example, the government's attention to developing other sectors for globalization instead of agriculture, which makes farmers worry and they drop unemployment. The foreign companies create opportunities for them to have jobs, besides also helping Thailand boost industry.

In conclusion, international groups might help other countries enhance their economy not only for the governments’ budgets but also for human living conditions.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Integration and globalization change" -> "Globalization and integration influence"
Explanation: The term "integration" is often used to describe the process of combining different elements, whereas "globalization" refers to the process of increasing interconnectedness. Using "globalization and integration influence" clarifies the subject and verb agreement, enhancing the academic tone.
"the growth of foreign companies that positively impact citizens" -> "the expansion of foreign companies that positively affect citizens"
Explanation: "Expansion" is a more precise term than "growth" in this context, as it specifically refers to the increase in size or scope of businesses. "Affect" is also more formal than "impact" in academic writing.
"Personally, I totally agree" -> "I strongly concur"
Explanation: "Concur" is a more formal synonym for "agree," and "strongly" is a more precise adverb than "totally," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"some major reasons" -> "significant reasons"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more precise and formal adjective than "major," which is somewhat vague and less formal.
"there are some benefits from the overseas businesses when they invest" -> "investments by overseas businesses yield several benefits"
Explanation: "Yield" is a more formal verb than "have" or "give," and "several" is more precise than "some," which is vague.
"multinational companies might invest numerous capital resources and devices to serve production" -> "multinational companies may invest substantial capital resources and equipment to enhance production"
Explanation: "Substantial" is more precise than "numerous," and "equipment" is more specific than "devices," which is less commonly used in formal writing. "Enhance" is also more specific than "serve," which is too broad.
"involutional economic processes" -> "economic development processes"
Explanation: "Involutional" is not a standard term in economics; "economic development" is the correct and widely accepted term.
"their equipment is applied mostly for cultivation" -> "their equipment is primarily used for agricultural purposes"
Explanation: "Primarily used for agricultural purposes" is more specific and formal than "applied mostly for cultivation," which is less precise.
"help increase productivity and affection on production" -> "enhance productivity and efficiency in production"
Explanation: "Enhance" is more formal than "help increase," and "efficiency" is a more precise term than "affection," which is incorrectly used here.
"promoting economic growth" -> "fostering economic growth"
Explanation: "Fostering" is a more formal and precise term than "promoting" in this context, indicating a more deliberate and supportive action.
"Big groups might build their factories and branches" -> "Large corporations may establish their factories and branches"
Explanation: "Large corporations" is more specific and formal than "Big groups," and "establish" is more formal than "build."
"have the ability to help citizens have stable jobs" -> "enable citizens to secure stable employment"
Explanation: "Enable" is more formal and precise than "have the ability to help," and "secure employment" is a more formal expression than "have stable jobs."
"humans’ living conditions will be enhanced" -> "the living conditions of citizens will improve"
Explanation: "The living conditions of citizens" is more formal and specific than "humans’ living conditions," and "improve" is a more commonly used verb in formal writing than "enhanced."
"drop unemployment" -> "reduce unemployment"
Explanation: "Reduce" is a more formal and accurate term than "drop," which is colloquial and imprecise in this context.
"helping Thailand boost industry" -> "aiding Thailand’s industrial development"
Explanation: "Aiding" is more formal than "helping," and "industrial development" is a more precise term than "boost industry," which is vague.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly agreeing with the statement that multinational companies and globalization produce positive effects. The writer presents arguments supporting this view, such as the economic benefits of foreign investment and job creation. However, while the essay acknowledges the positive impacts, it does not explore any potential negative effects or counterarguments, which could provide a more balanced response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should consider briefly discussing potential drawbacks of globalization and multinational companies, such as local businesses being overshadowed or cultural homogenization. This would demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic and fulfill all aspects of the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently supporting the idea that globalization and multinational companies have positive effects. Phrases like "Personally, I totally agree" and the consistent use of supporting examples reinforce this stance. However, the position could be made even clearer by explicitly stating the extent of agreement in the introduction and conclusion.
- How to improve: The writer could strengthen their position by explicitly stating the extent of their agreement in the introduction (e.g., "I strongly agree that…") and reiterating this in the conclusion. This would enhance clarity and ensure that the reader understands the writer’s viewpoint from start to finish.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas, such as the benefits of foreign investment and job creation, and supports them with examples, like Vietnam and Thailand. However, the development of these ideas could be more robust. For instance, the explanation of how foreign companies improve productivity could benefit from more specific details or statistics.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. Incorporating specific data, such as employment rates or economic growth percentages, would lend more credibility to the arguments. Additionally, using varied sentence structures and transitions could enhance the flow of ideas.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the positive impacts of multinational companies and globalization. However, there are moments where the connection to the main argument could be clearer, such as the mention of farmers in Thailand, which could be more directly tied back to the benefits of globalization.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly supports the central argument. This can be achieved by explicitly linking examples back to the main thesis and avoiding any tangential discussions that do not directly relate to the positive effects of globalization.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the writer could elevate their score even further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of the positive effects of multinational companies and globalization. The introduction effectively outlines the writer’s stance, and the body paragraphs follow a logical progression. Each paragraph addresses a distinct point: the economic benefits of foreign investment and the improvement of living conditions through job creation. However, the connection between the examples and the arguments could be strengthened. For instance, the transition between discussing Vietnam’s economic improvements and Thailand’s job creation could be smoother to enhance overall coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing Vietnam, a phrase like "Similarly, Thailand illustrates…" could help bridge the two examples. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is structured into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the writer’s viewpoint, while the subsequent paragraphs delve into specific benefits of multinational companies. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer delineation of ideas, as it combines multiple points about job creation and economic enhancement without distinct separation.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supporting details. Consider separating the points about job creation and the enhancement of living conditions into distinct paragraphs or at least distinct sections within the same paragraph. This will help maintain clarity and focus.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs several cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "As a result," which help guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from more varied connectors to enhance the flow of ideas. For instance, the use of "therefore" and "besides" is effective, but integrating additional devices such as "in addition," "furthermore," or "consequently" could provide more depth and variety.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, practice incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, when introducing a new point, instead of repeatedly using "Firstly" and "Secondly," consider using "In addition" or "Moreover" to introduce additional benefits. This will not only enhance the essay’s cohesion but also demonstrate a broader vocabulary range.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, refining transitions, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will further elevate the clarity and effectiveness of the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "integration," "globalization," "multinational companies," and "economic growth." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "foreign companies" and "international companies." This limits the overall lexical variety and richness of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "foreign companies," alternatives like "overseas enterprises," "global firms," or "international corporations" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more academic or sophisticated vocabulary would elevate the essay’s tone and depth.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "affection on production" is unclear and does not convey a specific meaning. Furthermore, "involutional economic processes" is also vague and may confuse readers.
- How to improve: Focus on clarity and specificity in word choice. Replace vague terms with more precise language. For example, instead of "affection on production," consider using "impact on production" or "influence on output." Additionally, clarify complex phrases like "involutional economic processes" by using simpler, more commonly understood terms, such as "economic development processes."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "involutional," which should be "evolutional" or "involvement," and "humans’ living conditions," which is awkwardly phrased. These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, practice writing and proofreading. Utilize tools like spell checkers and grammar checkers, and consider reading the essay aloud to catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can help reinforce correct spelling over time.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, enhancing clarity, and focusing on spelling, the overall quality of the writing can be significantly improved.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, phrases like "To start with" and "As a result" effectively signal the beginning of new points and the outcomes of actions. However, the essay relies heavily on certain structures, such as starting multiple sentences with "Firstly" and "Secondly," which can make the writing feel repetitive. Additionally, some complex sentences, like "In countries where the economy relies almost on agriculture, international funds play a crucial role in the involutional economic processes," could be clearer and more fluid.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using a mix of introductory phrases and varying the order of clauses. For example, instead of starting with "Firstly," you might start with a dependent clause: "Given the significant investment from multinational companies, many countries have seen a boost in their agricultural productivity." This approach not only varies sentence structure but also enhances clarity and engagement.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a good command of grammar overall, but there are several instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical inaccuracies. For example, the phrase "affection on production" is unclear and seems to misuse "affection." Additionally, the sentence "the government’s attention to developing other sectors for globalization instead of agriculture, which makes farmers worry and they drop unemployment" is grammatically incorrect and confusing. The use of commas is also inconsistent, particularly in complex sentences where additional commas could clarify meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on identifying and correcting awkward phrases. For instance, replace "affection on production" with "impact on production." Additionally, ensure that all clauses are correctly structured; the problematic sentence could be revised to: "The government’s focus on developing other sectors for globalization, rather than agriculture, has caused concern among farmers, leading to increased unemployment." Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on complex sentences can also help improve overall accuracy.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Integration and globalization significantly change various aspects of society, particularly through the expansion of foreign companies that positively influence citizens. Personally, I strongly concur with this statement for several significant reasons that will be elaborated upon in this essay.

To begin with, investments by overseas businesses yield several benefits. Firstly, multinational companies may invest substantial capital resources and equipment to enhance production. In countries where the economy relies heavily on agriculture, international funds play a crucial role in economic development processes because their equipment is primarily used for agricultural purposes. Consequently, foreign companies can provide modern machinery and investment, which helps enhance productivity and efficiency in production with high-quality goods. This, in turn, fosters economic growth. For example, Vietnam initiated globalization in 2017 and encouraged multinational companies to invest and develop. As a result, their economy improved and maintained a strong position within the Southeast Asian economic landscape.

Secondly, the expansion of international companies brings advantages to residents. Large corporations may establish their factories and branches in the countries they wish to enter. In regions with abundant human resources, these factories have the potential to enable citizens to secure stable employment and reduce unemployment rates. Therefore, the living conditions of citizens will improve, which is a crucial factor in a sustainable economy. Thailand serves as a typical example; the government’s focus on developing various sectors for globalization, rather than solely agriculture, has alleviated concerns among farmers about unemployment. Foreign companies create job opportunities for them while also aiding Thailand’s industrial development.

In conclusion, international groups can significantly enhance the economies of host countries, benefiting not only government budgets but also improving the living conditions of their citizens.