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The expansion of multinational companies and the increase in globalization produce positive effects for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The expansion of multinational companies and the increase in globalization produce positive effects for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The rapid expansion of multinational corporations and the increasing trend of globalization have sparked widespread discussions about their overall impact. In my opinion, these developments bring significant advantages to everyone, contributing to the elimination of poverty and fostering cross-cultural understanding.
From an economic standpoint, the growth of multinational corporations plays a pivotal role in advancing economies and lifting people out of poverty. International companies, by establishing their presence globally, inject a large amount of money into the local economy through their investment in the construction of offices, factories, warehouses and transportation infrastructure. Furthermore, when operating their business in other countries, multinational firms necessitate a sizable workforce and thus open ample employment opportunities for local residents. Consequently, people can secure stable employment with decent incomes, covering their living expenses and stimulating spending, thereby driving economic progress. For example, Samsung, a renowned Korean technology giant, has welcomed a large number of Vietnamese workers since 2018 following the establishment of its new subsidiary, successfully tackling the high unemployment rate in Vietnam.
From a societal perspective, globalization has facilitated cultural exchange and mutual understanding among nations, promoting world peace and friendship. Most hate stems from fear of the unknown. When people do not understand other races, values, and customs, they are prone to believing in false preconceptions, resulting in shunning people who do not share the same roots with them. Thanks to globalization, it is now easy for people to access information and make friends with people from around the world, enabling them to acquire more knowledge and insight into foreign cultures and international practices. Exposure to cross-cultural diversity increases the likelihood of establishing mutual respect and empathy among people from different cultural backgrounds. Therefore, globalization is instrumental in promoting cross-cultural understanding and maintaining global harmony in this contemporary age.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the ongoing process of globalization and the surge of multinational corporations represent positive developments as they not only improve the economy but also stimulate cross-cultural understanding.


 

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. “Everyone” -> “Individuals”
    Explanation: “Everyone” is a bit informal for academic writing. Using “individuals” maintains a formal tone without sacrificing inclusivity.
  2. “bring significant advantages to everyone” -> “yield substantial benefits for society at large”
    Explanation: The phrase “bring significant advantages to everyone” lacks specificity. “Yield substantial benefits for society at large” offers a more precise and formal expression of the positive impacts.
  3. “stimulating spending” -> “encouraging consumption”
    Explanation: “Stimulating spending” is slightly informal. “Encouraging consumption” maintains a formal tone and aligns better with academic language.
  4. “For example, Samsung, a renowned Korean technology giant” -> “For instance, Samsung, a prominent technology conglomerate based in South Korea”
    Explanation: “Renowned Korean technology giant” can be elaborated for clarity. “Prominent technology conglomerate based in South Korea” provides more specific and formal information.
  5. “Most hate stems from fear of the unknown” -> “Much animosity originates from unfamiliarity and uncertainty”
    Explanation: “Hate” is quite strong; “animosity” is a more formal alternative. The phrase “fear of the unknown” can be expressed as “unfamiliarity and uncertainty,” which is more academically appropriate.
  6. “shunning people” -> “excluding individuals”
    Explanation: “Shunning people” has a slightly informal connotation. “Excluding individuals” maintains formality in describing the act.
  7. “Thanks to globalization” -> “Owing to globalization”
    Explanation: “Thanks to” is a bit casual. “Owing to” is a more formal alternative fitting for academic writing.
  8. “it is now easy for people to access information” -> “accessing information has become readily available”
    Explanation: “Now easy for people” is more conversational. “Accessing information has become readily available” offers a formal tone while maintaining clarity.
  9. “Exposure to cross-cultural diversity” -> “Engagement with diverse cultural perspectives”
    Explanation: “Exposure to” can be replaced with a more active term like “engagement with” for a stronger, formal expression.
  10. “promoting cross-cultural understanding” -> “fostering intercultural comprehension”
    Explanation: “Promoting cross-cultural understanding” can be enhanced with a more elaborate term like “fostering intercultural comprehension,” which is academically precise.

 

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: “From an economic standpoint, the growth of multinational corporations plays a pivotal role in advancing economies and lifting people out of poverty.”
    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The opening statement provides a clear stance regarding the economic benefits of multinational corporations. However, it lacks depth in considering potential counterarguments or acknowledging drawbacks associated with these corporations. To enhance the response, consider acknowledging potential drawbacks such as exploitation, environmental concerns, or economic dependency in some regions due to multinational corporations. By briefly addressing counterarguments, the essay could demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the issue.
    • Improved example: “From an economic perspective, multinational corporations significantly contribute to advancing economies and alleviating poverty. While their impact on economic growth is undeniable, it’s essential to recognize the potential downsides such as exploitation of labor or environmental concerns associated with unchecked corporate expansion. Nevertheless, the overall economic boost and job creation provided by these corporations remain pivotal in improving living standards for many.”
  2. Quoted text: “Most hate stems from fear of the unknown. When people do not understand other races, values, and customs, they are prone to believing in false preconceptions, resulting in shunning people who do not share the same roots with them.”
    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While the paragraph emphasizes the importance of cross-cultural understanding, it lacks specific examples or instances to support the claim. To strengthen the argument, consider incorporating personal experiences or anecdotes demonstrating how globalization has fostered cross-cultural understanding or examples illustrating how misunderstandings were overcome through increased cultural interaction.
    • Improved example: “Misconceptions and prejudices often arise from ignorance about other cultures. Through globalization, I personally experienced a transformative shift in understanding when I interacted with individuals from diverse backgrounds. For instance, during a cultural exchange program, my misconceptions about a particular culture were dispelled when I engaged in discussions and shared experiences with participants from that culture. These interactions deepened my understanding and respect for their customs, highlighting the transformative power of cross-cultural engagement.”

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a clear position and presents relevant ideas supporting the positive effects of globalization and multinational corporations, it would benefit from greater depth by considering potential drawbacks and incorporating specific examples to bolster its arguments.

 

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a strong coherence and cohesion, earning it a band score of 8.0. The writer skillfully organizes information and ideas in a logical sequence, ensuring a clear progression throughout the essay. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, followed by well-structured body paragraphs that explore economic and societal perspectives. Each paragraph maintains a clear central theme. Cohesive devices are used proficiently, linking sentences and ideas seamlessly. The essay is marked by an appropriate and consistent use of paragraphing, contributing to the overall coherence.

How to improve: While the essay is strong, a minor improvement could be made by ensuring a more explicit link between paragraphs. Adding transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph can enhance the overall flow and coherence. Additionally, a concluding paragraph summarizing the key points and reinforcing the thesis would provide a more comprehensive closure to the essay. Overall, maintaining this level of organization and incorporating these suggestions would further elevate the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

 

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with varied expressions and appropriately used words for the context of globalization and multinational corporations. There’s an evident attempt to employ less common vocabulary and phraseology. The essay displays awareness of style and collocation, contributing to the coherence of ideas and arguments. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be more precise or where errors in word formation slightly detract from the overall lexical quality.

How to Improve: To enhance lexical resource further, aim for more diverse and nuanced vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice throughout the essay. Also, focus on refining word formation to minimize minor errors that occasionally disrupt the fluency of expression. Reading extensively across a variety of topics and noting new vocabulary could significantly strengthen the lexical range and accuracy.

 

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of a wide range of sentence structures, contributing to its overall coherence and effectiveness. The writer exhibits flexibility in using complex sentence forms, enhancing the essay’s fluency. The majority of sentences are error-free, and any errors present can be classified as minor ‘slips.’ The use of vocabulary is appropriate, and there is a consistent application of grammatical rules.

How to Improve: To reach a Band 9, strive for even greater precision and accuracy in language use. While the essay is well-structured and error-free for the most part, careful proofreading may help identify and rectify any lingering minor errors. Additionally, further diversification of vocabulary and sentence structures, especially in expressing nuanced ideas, can contribute to achieving the highest band score.

 

Bài sửa mẫu

The rapid expansion of multinational corporations and the increasing trend of globalization have sparked widespread discussions about their overall impact. In my opinion, these developments bring significant advantages to everyone, contributing to the elimination of poverty and fostering cross-cultural understanding.

From an economic standpoint, the growth of multinational corporations plays a pivotal role in advancing economies and lifting people out of poverty. International companies, by establishing their presence globally, inject a large amount of money into the local economy through their investment in the construction of offices, factories, warehouses, and transportation infrastructure. Furthermore, when operating their business in other countries, multinational firms necessitate a sizable workforce and thus open ample employment opportunities for local residents. Consequently, people can secure stable employment with decent incomes, covering their living expenses and stimulating spending, thereby driving economic progress. For example, Samsung, a renowned Korean technology giant, has welcomed a large number of Vietnamese workers since 2018 following the establishment of its new subsidiary, successfully tackling the high unemployment rate in Vietnam.

From a societal perspective, globalization has facilitated cultural exchange and mutual understanding among nations, promoting world peace and friendship. Most hate stems from fear of the unknown. When people do not understand other races, values, and customs, they are prone to believing in false preconceptions, resulting in shunning people who do not share the same roots with them. Thanks to globalization, it is now easy for people to access information and make friends with people from around the world, enabling them to acquire more knowledge and insight into foreign cultures and international practices. Exposure to cross-cultural diversity increases the likelihood of establishing mutual respect and empathy among people from different cultural backgrounds. Therefore, globalization is instrumental in promoting cross-cultural understanding and maintaining global harmony in this contemporary age.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that the ongoing process of globalization and the surge of multinational corporations represent positive developments as they not only improve the economy but also stimulate cross-cultural understanding.

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