The free movement of goods across national borders has long been a controversial issue. Some people argue that it is necessary for economic growth, while others claim that it damages local industries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The free movement of goods across national borders has long been a controversial issue. Some people argue that it is necessary for economic growth, while others claim that it damages local industries.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the integration of the international economy, exchanging goods in a liberated way through boundaries has become a controversial crisis. Many people believed that was a sacrifice for economic enhancement; despite others arguing about the detrimental effect on local retailers. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and clarify my opinion.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that import and export activities through countries bring about numerous benefits for the developmental economy. First and foremost, trading systems will innovate an assortment of goods models for indigenous residents as the exchange in mutual culture and different stereotypes of beauty. Thus this will stimulate consumer demand to experiment with new kinds of products that cannot be manufactured in their local environment. For instance, many types of tropical fruits such as Durian, Lychee, and Rambutan are only able to be cultivated in humid zones like Southeast Asia.

In contrast, giving freedom in gratis activities is the leading cause for tax-free, which might result in jeopardizing national financial growth. Annually, foreign retailers constitute primarily taxpayers as the government constrains about 5% of actual goods’ value for the imported industry. To illustrate, in 2023 the USA obtained more than 23.4 trillion dollars due to export-import procedure fees and taxes. That would be abundant damage for any country if no policies are implemented to tailor the state of free trading. Authorities ought to access to proper approach to prevent fiscal impairments such as legislating ordinances to withstand contraband items; while facilitating an open environment. Consequently, they could achieve prosperity while fulfilling the amenities of residents’ lives.

In summary, I completely assert the merits of external business; however, there would be a monetary crisis if we undermined these shortcomings.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "With the integration of the international economy, exchanging goods in a liberated way through boundaries has become a controversial crisis." -> "With the integration of the international economy, the unrestricted exchange of goods across borders has become a contentious issue."
   Explanation: The phrase "exchanging goods in a liberated way through boundaries" is awkward and unclear. "The unrestricted exchange of goods across borders" is more precise and formal, better fitting the academic style.

2. "Many people believed that was a sacrifice for economic enhancement;" -> "Many people believe that this is a sacrifice for economic enhancement;"
   Explanation: The original sentence lacks a subject and uses the past tense incorrectly. Correcting these errors improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.

3. "despite others arguing about the detrimental effect on local retailers." -> "despite others arguing that this has a detrimental effect on local retailers."
   Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incomplete and vague. Adding "that this has" clarifies the sentence structure and specifies the subject.

4. "it is undeniable that import and export activities through countries" -> "it is undeniable that international trade activities"
   Explanation: "Import and export activities through countries" is redundant and awkward. "International trade activities" is more concise and formal.

5. "trading systems will innovate an assortment of goods models" -> "trading systems will introduce a variety of new product models"
   Explanation: "Innovate an assortment of goods models" is unclear and awkward. "Introduce a variety of new product models" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.

6. "different stereotypes of beauty" -> "different cultural standards of beauty"
   Explanation: "Stereotypes" typically refers to oversimplified or inaccurate beliefs, which is not the intended meaning here. "Cultural standards" is more accurate and appropriate.

7. "giving freedom in gratis activities" -> "granting free trade"
   Explanation: "Giving freedom in gratis activities" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. "Granting free trade" is straightforward and formal.

8. "jeopardizing national financial growth" -> "jeopardizing national financial stability"
   Explanation: "Financial growth" is too vague; "financial stability" is a more precise term that better fits the context of economic policy.

9. "foreign retailers constitute primarily taxpayers" -> "foreign retailers are primarily taxpayers"
   Explanation: "Constitute" is incorrectly used here; "are" is the correct verb for describing the status of retailers as taxpayers.

10. "the government constrains about 5% of actual goods’ value" -> "the government imposes a 5% tax on the value of imported goods"
    Explanation: "Constrains" is not the correct term; "imposes a tax" is the appropriate expression for describing government actions.

11. "That would be abundant damage for any country" -> "This could cause significant financial damage to any country"
    Explanation: "Abundant damage" is an incorrect and unclear phrase. "Significant financial damage" is precise and appropriate for an academic context.

12. "Authorities ought to access to proper approach" -> "Authorities should adopt a proper approach"
    Explanation: "Ought to access to" is grammatically incorrect. "Should adopt" is the correct phrase for suggesting action.

13. "legislating ordinances to withstand contraband items" -> "enacting legislation to prevent contraband goods"
    Explanation: "Legislating ordinances" is awkward and unclear. "Enacting legislation" is more formal and precise.

14. "facilitating an open environment" -> "creating a favorable environment"
    Explanation: "Facilitating an open environment" is vague and less formal. "Creating a favorable environment" is clearer and more appropriate for academic writing.

15. "I completely assert the merits of external business" -> "I strongly advocate for the benefits of international trade"
    Explanation: "Assert the merits of external business" is awkward and unclear. "Advocate for the benefits of international trade" is more direct and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument regarding the free movement of goods across borders. It briefly discusses the benefits of free trade for economic growth and mentions the potential damage to local industries. However, the discussion lacks depth and detailed exploration of both views.
  • How to improve: To improve, the essay should dedicate more balanced attention to both perspectives. Each viewpoint could be supported with more specific examples and analysis. For instance, elaborating on how free trade benefits economic growth and contrasting it with specific examples of industries harmed by imports would enhance the completeness of the discussion.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay states that the author supports the benefits of external business (free movement of goods), but also acknowledges the potential drawbacks. This position is clear but somewhat generalized and could benefit from stronger justification and clarity throughout the essay.
  • How to improve: To present a clearer position, the author should ensure that each paragraph consistently reinforces their stance. Including a stronger thesis statement and linking each paragraph back to this stance would help maintain clarity and coherence.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: Ideas in the essay are presented but not extensively developed. For instance, while the benefits of international trade are mentioned briefly, there is limited elaboration or evidence provided to support these claims. Similarly, the drawbacks of free trade are mentioned without detailed analysis.
  • How to improve: To extend and support ideas, the essay should include more specific examples, statistics, or case studies to illustrate each point. This would provide a deeper understanding of how free trade impacts economies and local industries, thereby strengthening the argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the pros and cons of free trade. However, there are instances where the discussion could be more focused. For example, the paragraph on tax-free activities and fiscal impacts could be more directly linked to the broader discussion of economic growth and local industries.
  • How to improve: To stay more focused, each paragraph should directly relate to the prompt and the central theme of free movement of goods across borders. Avoiding tangential discussions, like the one on tax policies, unless directly linked to the main argument, would help maintain coherence.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and attempts to discuss both sides of the issue, there is room for improvement in depth of analysis, clarity of position, development of ideas, and focus. Strengthening these aspects would enhance the essay’s overall coherence and effectiveness in addressing the prompt comprehensively.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate level of logical organization. It begins with a clear introduction that outlines both sides of the argument and the writer’s opinion. However, there are instances where the progression of ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition between discussing the benefits of international trade to potential economic risks could be more seamless.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure each paragraph develops a single main idea related to the prompt. Use transition words and phrases (‘on the one hand’, ‘in contrast’, ‘however’) more effectively to connect ideas between paragraphs. Additionally, consider a more structured approach to discussing advantages and disadvantages separately before presenting a balanced conclusion.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: Paragraphing in the essay is generally coherent but could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more distinct separation of ideas. The first paragraph after the introduction blends together points about economic benefits and cultural exchange without a clear break.
  • How to improve: Start each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that previews the main idea of that paragraph. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the argument or evidence supporting it. For instance, separate paragraphs could discuss economic benefits, cultural exchange, and potential drawbacks of free trade, each with clear supporting details.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices such as ‘on the one hand’, ‘in contrast’, ‘for instance’, and ‘consequently’. These help to connect ideas within sentences and paragraphs. However, there is limited variety and sometimes the use feels repetitive.
  • How to improve: Expand the variety of cohesive devices used (e.g., moreover, therefore, nevertheless) to provide more nuanced connections between ideas. Ensure cohesive devices are used not only at the beginning of paragraphs but also within sentences to maintain coherence. Review the essay to eliminate repetitive use of the same linking words and phrases.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains coherence throughout, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used would strengthen its coherence and cohesion score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. It includes terms like "liberated," "sacrifice," "indigenous," "innovate," "stimulate," "cultivated," "jeopardizing," "constitute," "fiscal," "impairments," and "contraband." However, some phrases and expressions are repetitive or slightly awkward, such as "exchanging goods in a liberated way through boundaries" and "as the exchange in mutual culture."
  • How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, consider using synonyms and alternative expressions where appropriate. For instance, instead of "exchanging goods in a liberated way," you could say "cross-border trade," and instead of "as the exchange in mutual culture," you might say "facilitating cultural exchange."

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: Vocabulary is used with reasonable precision overall. For instance, terms like "tax-free," "taxpayers," and "contraband items" are correctly employed in context. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise, such as "gratis activities" (could be clearer as "duty-free activities") and "abundant damage" (could be more accurately stated as "significant economic impact").
  • How to improve: Aim for clearer and more precise vocabulary choices throughout the essay. Ensure each term used aligns perfectly with the intended meaning to avoid ambiguity or over-generalization.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate, with a few minor errors such as "gratis" (should be "duty-free"), "ordinances" (could be "regulations"), and "contraband" (spelled correctly but used in an unusual context). These errors do not significantly detract from comprehension but suggest some areas for improvement.
  • How to improve: Practice proofreading for specific terms that may have alternate spellings or contextual nuances. Utilize spell-check tools and refer to authoritative sources for accuracy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary appropriate for a Band 6 score. To achieve a higher band score, focus on refining vocabulary precision and variety further, ensuring all terms are used accurately and effectively within the context of the essay prompt.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate variety of sentence structures. It includes simple, compound, and complex sentences, but there is room for improvement in the diversity of sentence types. For example, more complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences or passive constructions could be incorporated to enhance the sophistication of expression.
  • How to improve: To enhance sentence variety, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures like conditional sentences (e.g., "If governments implement stricter policies, they could mitigate economic risks."), passive voice (e.g., "Imported goods are often subject to taxation, which supports national revenue."), or inverted sentences for emphasis (e.g., "Only when regulations are properly enforced can fiscal stability be ensured."). This will elevate the essay’s clarity and coherence, contributing to a higher band score.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay displays a generally accurate use of grammar and punctuation. However, there are noticeable errors that affect clarity and precision. For instance, there are instances of incorrect verb tense usage (e.g., "believed" should be "believes" for present tense consistency), and punctuation errors (e.g., missing commas in complex sentences). These errors, while not pervasive, occasionally impede the essay’s readability.
  • How to improve: Focus on maintaining consistent verb tense throughout the essay. Proofreading for punctuation accuracy, especially in complex sentences, will help clarify meaning and ensure grammatical precision. Consider revisiting sentence structure to ensure subjects and verbs agree and that commas are appropriately used to separate clauses and items in lists. This meticulous approach will strengthen the essay’s grammatical accuracy and coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammar and a moderate range of sentence structures, aligning well with a band score of 7 for Grammatical Range and Accuracy. By refining sentence structure variety and ensuring meticulous grammatical accuracy, the essay could potentially achieve an even higher score in future assessments.

Bài sửa mẫu

With the integration of the international economy, the unrestricted exchange of goods across borders has become a contentious issue. Many people believe that this is a sacrifice for economic enhancement, despite others arguing that this has a detrimental effect on local retailers. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and clarify my opinion.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that international trade activities bring about numerous benefits for economic development. Trading systems introduce a variety of new product models and different cultural standards of beauty, stimulating consumer demand for novel goods that may not be locally available. For instance, tropical fruits like Durian, Lychee, and Rambutan, which thrive in humid zones such as Southeast Asia, become accessible to consumers worldwide.

Conversely, granting free trade can jeopardize national financial stability through the loss of potential tax revenue. Foreign retailers, who are major taxpayers, contribute significantly to government coffers, with import duties alone accounting for a substantial portion of a country’s income. For example, in 2023, the USA generated over 23.4 trillion dollars from export-import tariffs and taxes. This underscores the potential financial damage to any country if policies are not in place to regulate free trade. Authorities should adopt a proper approach by enacting legislation to prevent contraband goods while creating a favorable environment for legitimate trade.

In conclusion, I strongly advocate for the benefits of international trade in fostering economic growth and cultural exchange. However, it is crucial to address the fiscal implications to ensure sustainable economic development and financial resilience.