The given bar graph demonstrates the quantity of households by yearly income in the United State in 3 specific timelines. Overall, there are 4 of 5 groups had witnessed significant upward trends whereas another remained unchanged. Additionally, the one with highest earnings almost invariably had largest number of households, except in 2011, while the one of the second highest income is always the lowest. In terms of those households whose earnings is lower than a quarter of 100000 dollars, its figure is in retreat after 2011 so its greatest one is in 2011 at roughly 28 millions whereas was just 25 and 27 millions in remaining years. Similarly, the group which possesses income from 25000 to 49999 dollars is analogous to the former about trend. Therefore, its quantity of households peaked at just under 30 millions in 2011 and those of two other years are respectively about 27000000 and 280000000. Regarding households have the highest surveyed annual income, they experienced a recover after a decline form 29 millions in 2007 to 27,5 millions in 2011. The greatest number of them is in 2015 and it is more than 30 millions. Next the figure of households with 75000 dollars to lower than 100 thousand dollars reached a peak at the latest year which is around 15 millions from the starting level about 14 millions. Lastly, the remaining group stayed stable throughout the surveyed timeframe.

The given bar graph demonstrates the quantity of households by yearly income in the United State in 3 specific timelines.
Overall, there are 4 of 5 groups had witnessed significant upward trends whereas another remained unchanged. Additionally, the one with highest earnings almost invariably had largest number of households, except in 2011, while the one of the second highest income is always the lowest.
In terms of those households whose earnings is lower than a quarter of 100000 dollars, its figure is in retreat after 2011 so its greatest one is in 2011 at roughly 28 millions whereas was just 25 and 27 millions in remaining years. Similarly, the group which possesses income from 25000 to 49999 dollars is analogous to the former about trend. Therefore, its quantity of households peaked at just under 30 millions in 2011 and those of two other years are respectively about 27000000 and 280000000.
Regarding households have the highest surveyed annual income, they experienced a recover after a decline form 29 millions in 2007 to 27,5 millions in 2011. The greatest number of them is in 2015 and it is more than 30 millions. Next the figure of households with 75000 dollars to lower than 100 thousand dollars reached a peak at the latest year which is around 15 millions from the starting level about 14 millions.
Lastly, the remaining group stayed stable throughout the surveyed timeframe.

The given bar graph demonstrates the quantity of households by yearly income in the United State in 3 specific timelines.
Overall, 4 of 5 groups had witnessed significant upward trends whereas another remained unchanged. Additionally, the one with the highest earnings almost invariably had the largest number of households, except in 2011, while the one with the second highest income is always the lowest.
In terms of those households whose earnings are lower than a quarter of 100000 dollars, its figure is in retreat after 2011 so its greatest one is in 2011 at roughly 28 millions whereas was just 25 and 27 millions in remaining years. Similarly, the group which possesses income from 25000 to 49999 dollars is analogous to the former trend. Therefore, its quantity of households peaked at just under 30 millions in 2011 and those of two other years are respectively about 27000000 and 280000000.
Regarding households that have the highest surveyed annual income, they experienced a recovery after a decline from 29 millions in 2007 to 27,5 millions in 2011. The greatest number of them is in 2015 and it is more than 30 millions. Next the figure of households with 75000 dollars to lower than 100 thousand dollars reached a peak at the latest year which is around 15 millions from the starting level about 14 millions.
Lastly, the remaining group stayed stable throughout the surveyed timeframe.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "The given bar graph demonstrates" -> "The provided bar graph illustrates"
   Explanation: Replacing "demonstrates" with "illustrates" provides a more precise term that is commonly used in academic contexts to describe visual representations like graphs, enhancing the formal tone of the sentence.

2. "quantity of households" -> "number of households"
   Explanation: "Number" is more precise and commonly used in academic writing when referring to quantifiable data, such as the data presented in the graph.

3. "in the United State" -> "in the United States"
   Explanation: Corrects a common typo, ensuring the proper spelling of the country name.

4. "4 of 5 groups had witnessed significant upward trends" -> "Four of the five groups exhibited significant upward trends"
   Explanation: Replacing "had witnessed" with "exhibited" and "4 of 5" with "Four of the five" corrects the numerical expression and uses more formal language.

5. "another remained unchanged" -> "the remaining group remained unchanged"
   Explanation: "The remaining group" is more specific and clearer than "another," which is vague and informal.

6. "the one with the highest earnings" -> "the group with the highest earnings"
   Explanation: Replacing "the one" with "the group" corrects the grammatical structure and maintains consistency in referring to groups.

7. "almost invariably" -> "nearly consistently"
   Explanation: "Nearly consistently" is a more precise and formal way to describe the regularity of a trend.

8. "its figure is in retreat" -> "its numbers decreased"
   Explanation: "Numbers decreased" is a more direct and formal way to describe a decline in data.

9. "its greatest one is in 2011 at roughly 28 millions" -> "its highest point was approximately 28 million in 2011"
   Explanation: "Highest point" is more specific and academically appropriate than "greatest one," and "approximately" is preferred over "roughly" for formal writing.

10. "was just 25 and 27 millions" -> "was approximately 25 million and 27 million"
    Explanation: Corrects the pluralization of "millions" to maintain consistency and uses "approximately" for a more formal tone.

11. "the group which possesses income" -> "the group with an income"
    Explanation: "With an income" is a more concise and formal way to describe the characteristic of a group.

12. "its quantity of households peaked" -> "the number of households peaked"
    Explanation: Replacing "its quantity" with "the number" corrects the possessive error and uses a more precise term.

13. "they experienced a recovery after a decline" -> "they experienced a recovery from a decline"
    Explanation: "From a decline" is more precise and academically appropriate than "after a decline."

14. "The greatest number of them is in 2015" -> "The highest number occurred in 2015"
    Explanation: "The highest number occurred in" is a more formal and precise way to describe the peak value.

15. "it is more than 30 millions" -> "it exceeded 30 million"
    Explanation: "Exceeded" is a more formal and precise verb than "is more than," and "million" should not be pluralized.

16. "the remaining group stayed stable" -> "the remaining group remained stable"
    Explanation: "Remained" is the correct verb form for indicating a continued state, enhancing the formal tone of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main trends in the bar chart. The essay also presents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points, but some details are irrelevant, inappropriate, or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the group with the highest earnings almost invariably had the largest number of households, except in 2011. However, the bar chart shows that the group with the highest earnings had the largest number of households in 2015, not 2011.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more accurate and relevant details. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language. For example, instead of saying "almost invariably," the essay could say "in all but one year."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, demonstrating a clear overall progression. However, while cohesive devices are used effectively, there are instances of mechanical cohesion, particularly in the transitions between sentences. The referencing is not always clear, which can lead to confusion. The paragraphing is present but could be improved for better logical flow.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more fluidly. Improving the clarity of referencing will help the reader follow the argument more easily. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and logically flows from one to the next will strengthen the overall organization of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, with attempts to use less common vocabulary. However, there are several inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "its figure is in retreat" and "the one with highest earnings almost invariably had largest number of households." Additionally, there are errors in spelling and word formation, such as "millions" being used incorrectly in "28 millions" and "27,5 millions." These issues do not severely impede communication but do detract from the overall clarity and precision of the essay.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using it more accurately. This includes ensuring correct collocations and avoiding awkward phrases. Additionally, paying attention to grammatical structures and ensuring correct pluralization and numerical expressions will enhance clarity. Regular practice with feedback on vocabulary use and collocation will also be beneficial.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While there are some effective structures used, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that occasionally hinder clarity. For instance, phrases like "its figure is in retreat" and "the one with highest earnings almost invariably had largest number of households" contain grammatical inaccuracies. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and punctuation, such as "28 millions" instead of "28 million" and "27,5 millions" instead of "27.5 million." These errors do not completely obscure meaning but do affect the overall fluency and coherence of the writing.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, focus on the following areas:

1. Grammar and Punctuation: Review and practice subject-verb agreement, plural forms, and the correct use of commas and periods in numerical expressions.
2. Sentence Variety: While the essay uses some complex structures, aim for greater variety and accuracy in sentence construction to enhance clarity and sophistication.
3. Clarity and Precision: Ensure that all phrases are clear and concise. Avoid awkward constructions and strive for more natural phrasing.
4. Proofreading: Always proofread your work to catch minor errors and improve overall accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given bar graph demonstrates the quantity of households by yearly income in the United States across three specific timelines. Overall, four out of five groups experienced significant upward trends, while one remained unchanged. Additionally, the group with the highest earnings almost invariably had the largest number of households, except in 2011, when the group with the second highest income consistently had the lowest number.

In terms of households whose earnings are lower than a quarter of 100,000 dollars, the figure declined after 2011, with the highest number recorded in 2011 at roughly 28 million, compared to just 25 million and 27 million in the remaining years. Similarly, the group with incomes ranging from 25,000 to 49,999 dollars exhibited a similar trend. Therefore, the quantity of households peaked at just under 30 million in 2011, while the figures for the other two years were approximately 27 million and 28 million.

Regarding households with the highest surveyed annual income, they experienced a recovery after a decline from 29 million in 2007 to 27.5 million in 2011. The greatest number of these households was recorded in 2015, exceeding 30 million. Next, the figure for households earning between 75,000 dollars and less than 100,000 dollars reached a peak in the latest year, at around 15 million, compared to the starting level of approximately 14 million.

Lastly, the remaining group remained stable throughout the surveyed timeframe.