The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The line chart illustrates how much money was spent per kilogram of banana in Japan, France, Germany, and the USA from 1994 to 2004.
Overall, there were rises in the cost of bananas in Japan and the USA, while the declines were seen in the figures for France and Germany. It is clear that Japan had the highest banana price for the majority of the period despite some fluctuations.
Looking first at the data which increased, over 2$ was paid for bananas in Japan in the first year, with a spike to hit a high of about 2.8$ in 1995 before decreasing sharply to the starting point (2$). After that, in spite of a plummet to 1.5$ in 2001, it witnessed a significant rise to 2.5$ at the end of the period, being still by far the most expensive among the 4 countries. By contrast, the number of bananas in the USA had the lowest price over the given period, it just started at under 1$, followed by a slight growth to 1.2$ in 1995 and finally leveling off from 1998 to 2004.
Moving to the remaining countries, whose figures fell, the cost of bananas in France remained unchanged for the first 4 years, and then it slowly rose to 1.7$, surpassing the data for Japan in 2001. Although a considerable decrease was seen in France’s banana price after 2 years, it still bounced back to 1.5$ in 2004, which ranked two in 4 categories. Lastly, Germany had a variation in the range from 1.3$ to 1.5$ from 1994 to 2001, before relatively stable to north of 1$ to 2002 onwards. It is important to note that the figure for all countries, except Japan, paid the same amount of money for bananas in 2003, around 1$.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The line chart illustrates how much money was spent per kilogram of banana" -> "The line chart depicts the expenditure per kilogram of bananas"
Explanation: The term "depicts" is more formal and precise than "illustrates," and "expenditure" is a more academic term than "how much money was spent."
"there were rises in the cost of bananas" -> "there were increases in the cost of bananas"
Explanation: "Increases" is a more precise and formal term than "rises," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"the declines were seen in the figures for" -> "a decline was observed in the figures for"
Explanation: "A decline was observed" is more formal and precise than "the declines were seen," and "observed" is academically appropriate.
"It is clear that Japan had the highest banana price" -> "It is evident that Japan had the highest banana price"
Explanation: "Evident" is a more formal synonym for "clear," enhancing the academic tone.
"over 2$" -> "more than 2$"
Explanation: "More than" is a more precise and formal way to express the comparison than "over."
"a spike to hit a high of about 2.8$" -> "a surge to approximately 2.8$"
Explanation: "Surge" is a more formal term than "spike," and "approximately" is more precise than "about."
"it witnessed a significant rise" -> "it experienced a significant increase"
Explanation: "Experienced" is more formal than "witnessed," and "increase" is preferred over "rise" in formal writing.
"being still by far the most expensive" -> "remaining the most expensive"
Explanation: "Remaining" is more concise and formal than "being still," and avoids the colloquial "by far."
"the number of bananas" -> "the price of bananas"
Explanation: The context is discussing the cost, not the quantity, so "price" is the correct term.
"it just started at under 1$" -> "it began at less than 1$"
Explanation: "Begun" is more formal than "started," and "less than" is more precise than "under."
"a slight growth" -> "a slight increase"
Explanation: "Increase" is more specific and appropriate in this context than "growth," which can be vague.
"finally leveling off from 1998 to 2004" -> "remaining stable from 1998 to 2004"
Explanation: "Remaining stable" is a more formal and precise way to describe the continuation of a steady state.
"whose figures fell" -> "whose prices decreased"
Explanation: "Prices decreased" is more specific and formal than "figures fell," which is somewhat vague.
"slowly rose to 1.7$" -> "gradually increased to 1.7$"
Explanation: "Gradually increased" is a more formal and precise term than "slowly rose."
"surpassing the data for Japan" -> "exceeding Japan’s data"
Explanation: "Exceeding" is more formal than "surpassing," and "Japan’s data" is more direct and clear.
"it still bounced back to 1.5$" -> "it still rebounded to 1.5$"
Explanation: "Rebounded" is a more formal synonym for "bounced back," fitting the academic style better.
"relatively stable to north of 1$ to 2002 onwards" -> "remaining stable at around 1$ from 2002 onwards"
Explanation: "Remaining stable at around 1$ from 2002 onwards" is clearer and more formal than the original phrase, which is awkward and unclear.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main trends in banana prices in the four countries, and it highlights some key features. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features, and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that "the figure for all countries, except Japan, paid the same amount of money for bananas in 2003, around 1$." This is not accurate, as the price of bananas in France was around 1.2$ in 2003.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed information about the key features of the graph. For example, the essay could provide more specific information about the fluctuations in banana prices in Japan and the USA. The essay could also be improved by avoiding irrelevant or inaccurate details.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner with a clear overall progression. The main features of the graph are summarized, and comparisons between the countries are made. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, and there are instances where referencing could be clearer. The paragraphing is present but not always logical, as some ideas could be better organized to enhance clarity.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow of ideas and ensuring that cohesive devices are used more naturally. This could involve varying the types of cohesive devices used and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed throughout. Additionally, refining the paragraph structure to group related ideas more effectively would enhance coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, allowing for basic communication of ideas. However, there are attempts to use less common vocabulary that are not always accurate, such as "plummet" and "bounce back," which may not fit the context perfectly. There are also some errors in word formation and phrasing, such as "the number of bananas in the USA had the lowest price" which could be more clearly expressed. While the vocabulary used does not impede communication, it lacks the precision and sophistication expected at higher band levels.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with greater accuracy. This includes practicing the use of less common lexical items in appropriate contexts and ensuring correct collocations. Additionally, reducing errors in spelling and word formation will contribute to a clearer and more professional presentation of ideas. Engaging with advanced vocabulary through reading and writing exercises can also help in achieving a more natural and sophisticated control of language.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 score. While it conveys the main features of the graph and makes relevant comparisons, there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, phrases like "the number of bananas in the USA had the lowest price" could be more clearly expressed, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that may confuse the reader. Overall, the communication is effective, but the grammatical inaccuracies prevent it from achieving a higher score.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following:

Increase Sentence Variety: Incorporate more complex sentence structures and ensure that they are grammatically correct.
Proofread for Errors: Carefully review the essay for grammatical and punctuation errors, ensuring that all sentences are clear and correctly structured.
Clarify Ambiguous Phrases: Rephrase any ambiguous or awkward expressions to improve clarity and coherence. For example, instead of "the number of bananas in the USA had the lowest price," consider "the price of bananas in the USA was the lowest."
Practice with Complex Structures: Engage in exercises that focus on using subordinate clauses and varied sentence beginnings to enhance grammatical range.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line chart illustrates how much money was spent per kilogram of bananas in Japan, France, Germany, and the USA from 1994 to 2004. Overall, there were rises in the cost of bananas in Japan and the USA, while declines were observed in the figures for France and Germany. It is clear that Japan had the highest banana price for the majority of the period despite some fluctuations.

Looking first at the data that increased, over $2 was paid for bananas in Japan in the first year, with a spike to a high of about $2.8 in 1995 before decreasing sharply back to the starting point of $2. After that, despite a plummet to $1.5 in 2001, it witnessed a significant rise to $2.5 at the end of the period, remaining by far the most expensive among the four countries. By contrast, the price of bananas in the USA was the lowest over the given period; it started at just under $1, followed by a slight growth to $1.2 in 1995, and finally leveled off from 1998 to 2004.

Moving to the remaining countries, whose figures fell, the cost of bananas in France remained unchanged for the first four years, and then it slowly rose to $1.7, surpassing the price in Japan in 2001. Although a considerable decrease was observed in France’s banana price after two years, it still bounced back to $1.5 in 2004, ranking second among the four categories. Lastly, Germany exhibited a variation in price ranging from $1.3 to $1.5 from 1994 to 2001, before remaining relatively stable at just over $1 from 2002 onwards. It is important to note that the price for all countries, except Japan, was the same in 2003, around $1.