The graph below shows the daily water consumption for Americans in their homes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

The graph below shows the daily water consumption for Americans in their homes.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

The given bar chart depicts the quantity of water consumed in the United States for daily activities, both with and without preservation techniques. The measurement of units are gallons of water.

Overall, the dishwasher used the least amount of water while flushing toilets accounted for the most. The water-saving strategies considerably lower water use as well as conserve a sizeable amount of water required for bathing, washing clothing, flushing toilets, and leak repair.

As can be seen from the chart, without the water conservation process, the US inhabitants used roughly 20 gallons for flushing toilets and approximately 10 gallons for leaking. With the implementation of water conservation systems, water used in restrooms and that lost under leakage declined drastically by almost 10 gallons and 5 gallons respectively. Similarly, saving methods reduce slightly water used for bathing, from about 13 gallons to around 10 gallons.

However, water used in faucets, dishwashers, and other uses seems not to widen the gap difference in water usage which was provided by the saving techniques. The water used in taps was nearly 11 gallons and the dishwashers consume the least (about 1 gallons) and 2 gallons for performing other works.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "quantity of water consumed" -> "volume of water consumed"
   Explanation: "Quantity" and "volume" both refer to amount, but "volume" is more specific and commonly used in scientific or technical contexts like this essay discussing water consumption.

2. "lower water use" -> "reduce water usage"
   Explanation: "Lower water use" is correct but using "reduce water usage" is more formal and precise, fitting the essay’s tone better.

3. "required for bathing" -> "needed for bathing"
   Explanation: Both "required" and "needed" are correct, but "needed" is slightly more concise and appropriate in this context.

4. "declined drastically" -> "decreased significantly"
   Explanation: "Declined drastically" is slightly redundant; "decreased significantly" communicates the same idea more directly.

5. "saving methods" -> "conservation methods"
   Explanation: "Saving methods" is vague, while "conservation methods" specifically refers to strategies aimed at preserving resources, fitting the context of water usage.

6. "widening the gap difference" -> "exacerbating the disparity"
   Explanation: "Widening the gap difference" is redundant; "exacerbating the disparity" succinctly conveys the idea of increasing the difference.

7. "seems not to" -> "does not appear to"
   Explanation: "Seems not to" can be replaced with "does not appear to" for a more formal and precise expression.

8. "which was provided by" -> "as shown by"
   Explanation: "Which was provided by" is a bit awkward; "as shown by" is a clearer and more direct way to introduce the information.

9. "dishwashers consume the least (about 1 gallons)" -> "dishwashers consume the least (about 1 gallon)"
   Explanation: "Gallons" should be singular to match the quantity mentioned ("1 gallon").

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the graph, such as daily water consumption for various activities with and without water conservation techniques. It presents a clear overview of the main trends in water usage, highlighting the significant differences between activities and the impact of water-saving strategies. Key features and bullet points are clearly presented and illustrated, including the comparison between water usage with and without conservation methods.
How to improve:
To improve, the essay could provide more detailed and specific comparisons between water usage before and after the implementation of conservation techniques. Additionally, it could enhance clarity by avoiding repetition and ensuring all details provided are directly relevant to the main trends in water consumption depicted in the graph. Furthermore, expanding slightly on how the data is represented (e.g., by mentioning the time frame of the data or any notable fluctuations) could strengthen the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay arranges information fairly coherently, with a clear overall progression. It uses cohesive devices effectively, though there are some mechanical and faulty aspects to cohesion within and between sentences. There is an attempt at logical organization, but some areas could be improved for better coherence.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Additionally, work on using cohesive devices more naturally and consistently throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like "quantity," "conservation techniques," "inhabitants," "drastically," and "implementations." It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "considerably," "strategies," and "inhabitants," but with some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as "the US inhabitants used roughly 20 gallons for flushing toilets" could be better expressed as "Americans consumed approximately 20 gallons for flushing toilets." Some errors in word choice are noticeable, such as "leaking" instead of "leakage," and "widening the gap difference" is redundant and awkward. However, these errors do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve:
To improve lexical resource, focus on using vocabulary more precisely and accurately. Work on refining word choice and phrasing to enhance clarity and coherence. Additionally, aim to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary, especially in describing data and making comparisons, while ensuring that less common terms are used correctly. Regular practice in writing and reviewing essays can help in identifying and rectifying such errors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating varied sentence forms to convey information. It covers the main features of the graph and makes comparisons where necessary. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay, such as missing articles ("the" before "dishwasher" and "faucets") and awkward phrasing ("consumed in the United States for daily activities"). However, these errors do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay attention to article usage, verb agreement, and sentence structure. Ensure consistency in verb tenses and refine phrasing to enhance clarity. Additionally, aim to vary vocabulary and employ more sophisticated language structures to elevate the overall quality of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart illustrates the daily water consumption patterns in the United States across various household activities, both with and without water-saving measures, measured in gallons.

Overall, it is evident that flushing toilets accounted for the highest water usage, while dishwashers consumed the least amount. Additionally, the implementation of water conservation strategies notably reduced water consumption across several activities, including bathing, laundry, toilet flushing, and leak repair.

Without water-saving measures, approximately 20 gallons were used for toilet flushing and around 10 gallons for leakage repair. However, with the adoption of water conservation techniques, toilet flushing and leakage repair decreased by almost 10 gallons and 5 gallons respectively. Similarly, water usage for bathing decreased slightly from approximately 13 gallons to around 10 gallons.

Moreover, the disparity in water usage between activities such as faucet usage, dishwasher operation, and other miscellaneous tasks was not significantly affected by the implementation of water-saving measures. Faucet usage accounted for nearly 11 gallons, while dishwashers consumed the least amount, approximately 1 gallon, with an additional 2 gallons for other miscellaneous tasks.