The graph below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates the quantity of movies produced by five nations in three different periods.
Overall, the number of movie in A and B was completely higher than three other countries, while the difference in each year of E was lowest. Surprisingly, the figure of B in 2009 was far more higher than two years before.
In A, the number of movie in 2007 and 2008 was almost the same with 88 film that produced at that time, while in 2009 had slightly changes compared to the previous two years with 8 films lower. This tendency was true for B in 2007 and 2008 with only 1 movie difference; however, in 2009 the quantity of movie had a significant change with approximately 20 movies higher than before.
For three other nation, it had never showed the number of films higher than 20. In the first period in this chart, the quantity in D was the highest with 15 movie are published at that time. Meanwhile, this number in C and E was under 10. Nevertheless, the quantity in 2008 and 2009 in C was higher than other countries, with 12 and 18 movies respectively. Especially, the quantity of movie in E showed a slightly different in 3 periods, with only 1 movies higher after a year.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The chart illustrates the quantity of movies produced by five nations in three different periods." -> "The chart depicts the number of films produced by five nations across three distinct periods."
Explanation: "Depicts" is a more precise verb than "illustrates" in this context, and "number of films" is more formal than "quantity of movies." Additionally, "across" is more appropriate than "in" to describe the scope of the periods. -
"the number of movie in A and B was completely higher than three other countries" -> "the number of films in A and B exceeded that of the other three countries"
Explanation: "Exceeded" is a more precise verb than "was completely higher," and "that of the other three countries" is grammatically correct and more formal than "three other countries." -
"the difference in each year of E was lowest" -> "the difference in each year for country E was minimal"
Explanation: "For country E" clarifies the reference, and "minimal" is more precise and formal than "lowest," which can be vague. -
"the figure of B in 2009 was far more higher than two years before" -> "the number of films in B in 2009 significantly exceeded that of the previous two years"
Explanation: "Significantly exceeded" is more precise and formal than "far more higher," which is awkward and incorrect. "That of the previous two years" clarifies the comparison. -
"the number of movie in 2007 and 2008 was almost the same with 88 film that produced at that time" -> "the number of films in 2007 and 2008 was nearly identical, with 88 films produced during those years"
Explanation: "Nearly identical" is a more formal expression than "almost the same," and "during those years" is more precise than "at that time." -
"had slightly changes" -> "experienced a slight change"
Explanation: "Experienced a slight change" is grammatically correct and more formal than "had slightly changes." -
"For three other nation" -> "For the other three nations"
Explanation: "The other three nations" is grammatically correct and more formal than "three other nation." -
"15 movie are published at that time" -> "15 films were published at that time"
Explanation: "Were published" is the correct verb form, and "films" should be plural to match the singular "15." -
"this number in C and E was under 10" -> "the numbers in C and E were fewer than 10"
Explanation: "Fewer than 10" is a more precise and formal way to express the comparison, and "were" agrees with the plural subject "numbers." -
"the quantity of movie in E showed a slightly different in 3 periods" -> "the number of films in E varied slightly across the three periods"
Explanation: "Varied" is more specific and formal than "showed a slightly different," and "across the three periods" is clearer and more academic than "in 3 periods."
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by providing an overview of the main features of the graph. However, the essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends, differences, or stages. The essay also presents key features/bullet points inadequately, with a tendency to focus on details.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends, differences, or stages in the graph. The essay could also be improved by presenting key features/bullet points more adequately and by avoiding the tendency to focus on details. For example, the essay could state that the number of films produced in country A remained relatively stable over the three years, while the number of films produced in country B increased significantly in 2009. The essay could also provide more specific details about the changes in the number of films produced in each country, such as the percentage increase or decrease in the number of films produced from one year to the next.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there are noticeable issues with overall progression and clarity. While the writer attempts to make comparisons and report on the data, the lack of clear referencing and occasional inaccuracies in cohesive devices hinder the overall coherence. The paragraphing is present but not always logical, leading to confusion in the flow of ideas. For instance, the transitions between the discussion of different countries and years are not always smooth, which affects the reader’s ability to follow the argument effectively.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow of ideas by using clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensuring that cohesive devices are used accurately and appropriately will help avoid confusion. The writer should also consider restructuring paragraphs to ensure that each one presents a single clear topic, which will aid in maintaining a logical progression throughout the essay. Finally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will improve the overall quality of the writing.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the information from the graph, the use of vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and formation. For example, phrases like "the number of movie" should be "the number of movies," and "the quantity in D was the highest with 15 movie are published" contains grammatical inaccuracies. These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended message.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, and ensure accurate word forms and collocations. Practicing synonyms, varying sentence structures, and proofreading for grammatical accuracy would also help improve clarity and precision in conveying information.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex sentences. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ("was completely higher," "had slightly changes"), and issues with subject-verb agreement ("the quantity of movie" should be "the quantity of movies"). These errors occasionally cause confusion and hinder the overall clarity of the communication. While the writer attempts to convey comparisons and trends, the inaccuracies in grammar and punctuation detract from the effectiveness of the essay.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex sentences with appropriate conjunctions. Additionally, careful proofreading to correct verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation errors would significantly improve clarity. Practicing grammar exercises and seeking feedback on writing can also help in developing a stronger command of English grammar.
Bài sửa mẫu
The chart illustrates the quantity of movies produced by five nations over three different years. Overall, the number of movies in A and B was significantly higher than in the other three countries, while the figures for E were the lowest each year. Surprisingly, the figure for B in 2009 was much higher than in the two preceding years.
In A, the number of movies in 2007 and 2008 was almost the same, with 88 films produced during that time, while in 2009 there was a slight decrease compared to the previous two years, with 8 fewer films. This trend was also observed in B, where the number of movies in 2007 and 2008 differed by only 1 film; however, in 2009, the quantity of movies saw a significant increase, with approximately 20 more films than before.
For the three other nations, none showed a number of films higher than 20. In the first period of this chart, the quantity in D was the highest, with 15 movies produced at that time. Meanwhile, the figures for C and E were below 10. Nevertheless, the quantities in 2008 and 2009 for C were higher than those of the other countries, with 12 and 18 movies respectively. Notably, the quantity of movies in E showed only slight variation over the three periods, with just 1 movie more produced after a year.
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