The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Write a Full report

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

Write a Full report

The line chart indicates how many visitors went to an island called Caribbean from 2010 to 2017. Overall, the total number of trips experienced an upward trend during the whole timeframe. Additionally, the figure for visitors staying on cruise ships was lower than that for those staying on the island over most of the period but later surpassed the latter by the end of the period.

The total quantity of tourists to the Caribbean island began the period at 1 million people, considerably increasing by approximately 1.8 million people from 2010 to 2015. Having remained stable at 2.8 million people until 2016, the number of visitors hit the highest point at 3.5 million people in 2017.

Regarding the number of tourists who decided to stay on the cruise ship, it started the period at a relatively low point ( under 0.5 million people). There was a dip of roughly 0.2 million people in 2012, followed by a leap to 2 million tourists in 2017.

Concerning visitors staying on the island, about 0.7 million tourists chose the island as an accommodation between 2010 and 2011. There was a minimal increase to 1.4 million visitors one year later, hovering around 1.5 million from 2013 to 2017 except for a slight decline in 2016.

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Errors and Improvements:

"how many visitors went to an island called Caribbean" -> "how many visitors traveled to the Caribbean island"
Explanation: "Went to" is somewhat colloquial. "Traveled to" maintains clarity while being slightly more formal.
"total number of trips" -> "total volume of visits"
Explanation: "Trips" is a bit informal in this context. "Volume of visits" is a more sophisticated term to describe the total number of visitors.
"staying on cruise ships" -> "opting for cruise ship accommodations"
Explanation: "Staying on cruise ships" is grammatically correct but sounds slightly awkward. "Opting for cruise ship accommodations" is a more polished alternative.
"quantity of tourists" -> "number of tourists"
Explanation: "Quantity" is a more general term and might not be as precise as "number" when referring to visitors.
"considerably increasing by approximately" -> "experiencing a significant increase of"
Explanation: "Considerably increasing by approximately" is redundant. "Experiencing a significant increase of" conveys the same meaning more concisely.
"having remained stable" -> "having stabilized"
Explanation: "Having remained stable" is grammatically correct but could be expressed more succinctly as "having stabilized."
"hit the highest point" -> "peaked"
Explanation: "Hit the highest point" is somewhat informal. "Peaked" is a more formal and concise term for reaching the highest level.
"relatively low point" -> "modest level"
Explanation: "Relatively low point" is somewhat vague. "Modest level" is a more specific and refined term.
"minimal increase" -> "slight increase"
Explanation: "Minimal increase" could be interpreted as negligible. "Slight increase" better conveys a small but noticeable rise.
"hovering around" -> "maintaining"
Explanation: "Hovering around" is a bit informal. "Maintaining" is a more precise and formal term to describe consistency.
"chose the island as an accommodation" -> "opted for the island as their accommodation"
Explanation: "Chose the island as an accommodation" is grammatically correct but sounds slightly awkward. "Opted for the island as their accommodation" is a smoother alternative.
"except for a slight decline" -> "apart from a minor decline"
Explanation: "Except for" is slightly informal. "Apart from" maintains formality while conveying the same meaning.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay covers the task requirements and provides a clear overview of the main trends over the given period. It outlines the significant patterns of tourists visiting the Caribbean island, specifying the increase in total visitors and comparing those staying on cruise ships with those staying on the island. Key features are highlighted with clear details, showing the overall upward trend and important shifts in tourist behavior.

However, the essay could be more fully extended, with more detailed explanations of certain trends. Some data is generalized (e.g., "hovering around 1.5 million"), and there is room for more specific details to provide a deeper understanding of the variations and fluctuations. Despite this, the essay addresses the task and presents the key information accurately.

How to improve: To improve, the essay could incorporate more specific data points or elaborate on smaller trends and shifts within the timeframe. Adding more concrete details or providing a more comprehensive breakdown of the changes could elevate the clarity and depth of the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and clear progression throughout, aligning well with the requirements for Band 7 in the Coherence and Cohesion criteria. The information is organized into paragraphs that each cover distinct aspects of the data presented in the graph, such as overall trends, detailed yearly statistics, and specific observations regarding different tourist groups (cruise ship visitors and island stayers). The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate, aiding the flow of the essay, though there are minor issues with some mechanical or overused transitions that might slightly disrupt the reader’s engagement. Each paragraph has a clear central topic, which helps maintain coherence across the essay.

How to improve:
To potentially elevate the essay to a higher band, the writer should aim to refine the use of cohesive devices, ensuring they are varied and seamlessly integrate all parts of the essay. This could include more sophisticated transitions and linking phrases that better highlight comparisons or contrasts between data points. Additionally, while the paragraphing is competent, enhancing the distinctiveness of each paragraph’s focus and ensuring a smoother logical progression from one paragraph to the next could further strengthen the essay’s structure and flow. This could be achieved by more explicitly linking the paragraphs to each other and to the overall narrative of the essay, reinforcing the progression and interrelationships between the presented data.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. There is appropriate use of vocabulary related to describing trends and quantities, such as "upward trend," "considerably increasing," "dip," "leap," and "minimal increase." Additionally, the writer employs less common lexical items like "hovering," "accommodation," and "total quantity," which contribute to the overall richness of the language. There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, especially in describing the data presented in the graph. However, some word choices could be refined for greater accuracy and sophistication, such as replacing "total quantity" with "overall number" or "aggregate." The essay also demonstrates awareness of style and collocation, particularly in phrases like "hit the highest point" and "staying on the cruise ship."

How to improve:
To enhance lexical resource and achieve a higher band score, strive for more precise and sophisticated vocabulary choices throughout the essay. Aim for greater consistency in the use of less common lexical items and consider refining word choices for improved accuracy and clarity. Additionally, expanding the range of vocabulary related to describing trends and data analysis could further strengthen the lexical richness of the essay. Finally, pay attention to collocation and style to ensure seamless integration of vocabulary within the context of the report.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical range and accuracy overall. It employs a variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex ones. The sentences are mostly error-free, contributing to clear communication. There is control over grammar and punctuation, with occasional errors that do not significantly hinder comprehension.

How to improve:
To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, pay closer attention to consistency in verb tense usage, especially when discussing different time periods. Additionally, strive for more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures to elevate the overall language proficiency. Finally, proofreading for minor errors can help ensure a smoother presentation of ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line chart delineates the influx of tourists to the Caribbean island from 2010 to 2017. In general, there was a consistent upward trajectory in the total number of visits throughout the specified period. Notably, the count of visitors opting for cruise ship accommodations remained lower than those preferring the island’s stay for most of the duration but eventually exceeded the latter by the end of the period.

Commencing at 1 million individuals in 2010, the total tourist influx surged notably, reaching approximately 1.8 million by 2015. Maintaining stability at 2.8 million until 2016, the number soared to its pinnacle at 3.5 million in 2017.

Conversely, the count of tourists electing cruise ship accommodations embarked from a modest point, standing at under 0.5 million in the initial year. Notable fluctuations include a dip of roughly 0.2 million individuals in 2012, followed by a remarkable ascent to 2 million tourists by 2017.

Concerning visitors opting for island stays, approximately 0.7 million tourists favored this accommodation choice between 2010 and 2011. This figure experienced a slight augmentation to 1.4 million visitors in the subsequent year, maintaining stability around 1.5 million from 2013 to 2017, barring a marginal decline in 2016.