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The graph below shows the percentage of families in European region with different number of people between 2025 – 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the percentage of families in European region with different number of people between 2025 – 2040.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The line graph illustrates the percentage of families in European in different areas with different number of members between 2025 and 2040 . As it is presented in the diagram, we can see 4 people group is the onlyone which remains the same for a decade after decreasing in the first period. Turning to the rest, consisting of 2, 3, 5+ people group, having their steady increase or decrease clearly. In detail, during the first period, 2, 3,4,5+ people group start at exactly 10%, 20%, 30% and 40% , respectively . After 5 years, the 4 people group slightly decreases for about 5% from 30% to 25% , but from then on , it remains stable until 2040. In the case of 3 and 5+ people group , they have a period of stability before having their dramatically change. In terms of the & people group, it consistently moveases and it has the biggest inevease in percentage among 4 categories from 10% to 25% in 2040. On the contrary, the 5+ people group suddenly plummets and having the biggest decrease of almost 20% , hitting double of its starting amount. Lastly, the 3 people group sharply skyrockets for 10% from 20% to 30% in the next decade.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "The line graph illustrates the percentage of families in European in different areas with different number of members between 2025 and 2040" -> "The line graph illustrates the percentage of families in Europe with different numbers of members between 2025 and 2040"
    Explanation: "European" should be "Europe" as it refers to the continent, not a singular entity. "In different areas with different number of members" is awkward and vague; "with different numbers of members" is more concise and clear.

  2. "4 people group is the onlyone which remains the same for a decade" -> "the four-person group is the only one that remains constant for a decade"
    Explanation: "4 people group" should be "the four-person group" for grammatical correctness and clarity. "Onlyone" is a typographical error and should be "only one." "Remains the same" is replaced with "remains constant" for a more formal tone.

  3. "consisting of 2, 3, 5+ people group" -> "comprising 2, 3, and 5+ person groups"
    Explanation: "Consisting of" is more appropriate for listing elements than "consisting of," which is grammatically incorrect. "Person groups" should be pluralized to "person groups" for consistency and accuracy.

  4. "having their steady increase or decrease clearly" -> "exhibiting a steady increase or decrease"
    Explanation: "Having their" is awkward and vague; "exhibiting" is more precise and academically appropriate.

  5. "start at exactly 10%, 20%, 30% and 40%" -> "begin at 10%, 20%, 30%, and 40%"
    Explanation: "Start at exactly" is redundant; "begin at" is sufficient and more formal.

  6. "but from then on, it remains stable until 2040" -> "however, it remains stable until 2040"
    Explanation: "But from then on" is informal and can be replaced with "however" for a more formal tone.

  7. "In the case of 3 and 5+ people group" -> "Regarding the 3- and 5+ person groups"
    Explanation: "In the case of" is somewhat informal and vague; "Regarding" is more precise and formal. "People group" should be pluralized to "person groups" for consistency.

  8. "they have a period of stability before having their dramatically change" -> "they experience a period of stability before undergoing a dramatic change"
    Explanation: "Having their dramatically change" is grammatically incorrect and awkward; "undergoing a dramatic change" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  9. "it consistently moveases and it has the biggest inevease" -> "it consistently increases and has the largest increase"
    Explanation: "Moveases" and "inevease" are typographical errors and should be corrected to "increases" and "increase."

  10. "the 5+ people group suddenly plummets and having the biggest decrease of almost 20%" -> "the 5+ person group suddenly drops by nearly 20%"
    Explanation: "Plummets" is somewhat informal and dramatic; "drops" is more neutral and suitable for academic writing. "Having the biggest decrease" is awkward; "drops by nearly 20%" is clearer and more direct.

  11. "hitting double of its starting amount" -> "reaching double its initial amount"
    Explanation: "Hitting" is informal and imprecise; "reaching" is more formal and accurate. "Its starting amount" should be "its initial amount" for clarity.

  12. "sharply skyrockets for 10% from 20% to 30%" -> "increases by 10% from 20% to 30%"
    Explanation: "Sharply skyrockets" is an idiom and too informal; "increases by" is straightforward and formal.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the main trends in the graph, but it does not present a clear overview of the information. The essay also focuses on details rather than key features. For example, the essay states that the 4-people group "remains stable until 2040," but it does not mention that the group decreased slightly in the first period. The essay also does not make clear comparisons between the different groups.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the graph. The essay should also focus on key features rather than details. For example, the essay could state that the 4-people group remained relatively stable over the period, while the 2-people group increased steadily. The essay should also make clear comparisons between the different groups. For example, the essay could state that the 2-people group increased at a faster rate than the 3-people group.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe the trends in the graph, the connections between ideas are often unclear, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which detracts from the overall coherence. Additionally, the paragraphing is not effectively utilized, as the essay lacks clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically organizing information and ensuring a clear progression of ideas. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately and consistently. Improving referencing and substitution will help avoid repetition and clarify relationships between ideas. Finally, structuring the essay into well-defined paragraphs with clear topic sentences will aid in presenting a more coherent argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the data presented in the graph, the vocabulary used is often repetitive and lacks precision. There are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation, such as "onlyone," "moveases," and "inevease," which can cause difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended message. Additionally, the use of phrases like "the 4 people group" and "the 5+ people group" lacks variety and sophistication, which is necessary for a higher band score. Overall, the lexical resource does not meet the expectations for a higher band due to these limitations.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary by incorporating a wider range of synonyms and more precise terms related to family structures and statistical descriptions. Practicing the use of less common lexical items and ensuring correct spelling and word formation will enhance clarity. Additionally, varying sentence structures and avoiding repetition will contribute to a more sophisticated and engaging essay. Reading high-scoring IELTS essays can also provide insight into effective vocabulary usage and styles.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures. While there are attempts to use complex sentences, they are often inaccurate or poorly constructed. Frequent grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ("moveases" instead of "increases") and awkward phrasing ("the onlyone which remains the same"), detract from clarity. Punctuation issues are present, such as missing commas, which can cause confusion for the reader. Overall, while the essay attempts to convey the information from the graph, the grammatical inaccuracies hinder effective communication.
How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following:

  1. Practice complex sentence structures: Incorporate more varied sentence forms and ensure they are grammatically correct.
  2. Proofreading: Take time to review the essay for common errors in grammar and punctuation before submission.
  3. Expand vocabulary: Use precise vocabulary to convey ideas clearly, avoiding vague terms like "having" or "the case of."
  4. Seek feedback: Engage with peers or instructors to identify specific areas of grammatical weakness and work on them systematically.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line graph illustrates the percentage of families in the European region with different numbers of members between 2025 and 2040. As presented in the diagram, the four-person group is the only category that remains the same for a decade after decreasing in the initial period. Turning to the rest, consisting of the two, three, and five-plus people groups, they show clear trends of steady increase or decrease.

In detail, during the first period, the two, three, four, and five-plus people groups start at exactly 10%, 20%, 30%, and 40%, respectively. After five years, the four-person group slightly decreases by about 5%, from 30% to 25%, but remains stable until 2040. In the case of the three and five-plus people groups, they experience a period of stability before undergoing dramatic changes. The two-person group consistently increases, showing the largest rise in percentage among the four categories, from 10% to 25% by 2040. On the contrary, the five-plus people group suddenly plummets, experiencing the biggest decrease of almost 20%, reaching double its starting amount. Lastly, the three-person group sharply increases by 10%, from 20% to 30% in the next decade.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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