The graph below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of the population in the UK who ate the suggested quantity of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.
In general, an upward trend was seen in all subjects who followed the guidelines. Additionally, women were the most serious in adhering to these recommendations.
For a start, 25% of women met the recommended intake of fruit and vegetables in 2002, accounting for the largest number, which was 3 and 14% higher than men and children, respectively. This figure then grew significantly by 7% after 4 years, before falling 5% at the end of the period. Similarly, the figure for men and children in this regard surged to 28 and 16% in 2006, but then dipped minimally and ended at 24 and 14% in 2010.
In conclusion, the bar chart highlights the changes in the proportion of men, women, and children in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables from 2002 to 2010. Women consistently showed the highest adherence to these dietary guidelines, followed by men and then children. While there was a notable increase in the percentages from 2002 to 2006 for all groups, a slight decline was observed in 2010. Despite these fluctuations, the overall trend indicates an increased awareness and effort towards healthier eating habits over the observed period.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The bar chart illustrates the proportion of the population in the UK who ate the suggested quantity of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010." -> "The bar chart depicts the proportion of the UK population consuming the recommended quantity of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006, and 2010."
Explanation: Replacing "illustrates" with "depicts" provides a more precise and formal term for describing visual representations. Additionally, "who ate" is replaced with "consuming" to maintain a more formal tone and to better fit the academic style. -
"an upward trend was seen in all subjects who followed the guidelines." -> "an upward trend was observed in all groups adhering to the guidelines."
Explanation: Replacing "subjects" with "groups" corrects the misuse of "subjects" which is typically used in academic contexts to refer to disciplines or fields of study, not groups of people. "Adhering to" is also more precise than "followed" in this context. -
"women were the most serious in adhering to these recommendations." -> "women were the most diligent in adhering to these recommendations."
Explanation: "Serious" is incorrectly used here; "diligent" is the appropriate adjective to describe someone who is careful and persistent in their actions, fitting the context of following guidelines. -
"For a start" -> "Initially"
Explanation: "For a start" is informal and conversational; "Initially" is more formal and suitable for academic writing. -
"25% of women met the recommended intake of fruit and vegetables in 2002, accounting for the largest number, which was 3 and 14% higher than men and children, respectively." -> "In 2002, 25% of women met the recommended intake of fruit and vegetables, representing the highest percentage among the three groups, which exceeded the percentages for men and children by 3% and 14%, respectively."
Explanation: This revision clarifies the sentence structure and removes the informal phrase "accounting for the largest number." It also uses "representing the highest percentage" for clarity and formality. -
"This figure then grew significantly by 7% after 4 years, before falling 5% at the end of the period." -> "This percentage then increased significantly by 7% over the subsequent four years, before decreasing by 5% at the end of the period."
Explanation: "Grew" is replaced with "increased" for precision in describing numerical changes, and "after 4 years" is replaced with "over the subsequent four years" to enhance the formal tone. -
"Similarly, the figure for men and children in this regard surged to 28 and 16% in 2006, but then dipped minimally and ended at 24 and 14% in 2010." -> "Similarly, the percentages for men and children in this regard surged to 28% and 16% in 2006, only to dip minimally to 24% and 14% in 2010."
Explanation: "Surged" is replaced with "increased" for a more formal tone, and "dipped minimally" is replaced with "dip minimally" for grammatical correctness and clarity. -
"the overall trend indicates an increased awareness and effort towards healthier eating habits over the observed period." -> "the overall trend suggests an increased awareness and effort towards healthier eating habits during the observed period."
Explanation: "Indicates" is replaced with "suggests" to soften the statement and align with the academic style of presenting findings as suggestions rather than definitive conclusions.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the main trends in fruit and vegetable consumption in the UK. It highlights the key features of the data, such as the higher consumption rates among women and the overall upward trend. However, the essay lacks some detail and accuracy. For example, it states that women had the "largest number" in 2002, which is not entirely accurate as the percentage is higher for women but the actual number of people consuming the recommended amount would depend on the total population size of each group. Additionally, the essay mentions a "slight decline" in 2010, which is not entirely accurate as the percentage for women actually increased from 2006 to 2010.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details and avoiding generalizations. For example, instead of saying "an upward trend was seen," the essay could state the exact percentage increase for each group. Additionally, the essay could be more accurate in its description of the data, avoiding statements that are not fully supported by the information presented in the graph.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner with a clear overall progression. It introduces the topic and provides a general overview. The use of cohesive devices is somewhat effective, though there are instances where cohesion within and between sentences could be improved for smoother transitions. Paragraphing is used, but not always logically; some paragraphs could be better structured to enhance coherence.
How to improve:
- Cohesive Devices: Ensure cohesive devices (such as pronouns, linking words) are used consistently and appropriately to improve clarity and flow.
- Paragraph Structure: Review paragraphing to ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear central topic and logically follows the previous one.
- Sentence-Level Cohesion: Work on improving cohesion within sentences to create more seamless transitions between ideas.
This feedback focuses on enhancing the clarity and coherence of the essay, aiming to achieve a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary appropriate for the task. It effectively communicates the main features of the graph and makes comparisons where relevant. The vocabulary used is generally adequate, though there are some repetitive phrases ("recommended intake of fruit and vegetables", "upward trend", "adhering to these recommendations"). There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., "most serious", "this figure then grew significantly by 7% after 4 years") that occasionally affect precision and fluency. There are also errors in word formation and spelling, such as "subjects" instead of "segments" and "dipped minimally".
How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource score:
- Increase the range of vocabulary used, particularly by incorporating more varied synonyms and expressions.
- Pay closer attention to word choice and collocation to enhance precision and clarity.
- Proofread for spelling and word formation errors to ensure greater accuracy and fluency.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as "The bar chart illustrates" and "For a start, 25% of women met the recommended intake…" There are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies throughout the essay, for example, "an upward trend was seen in all subjects" could be more accurately phrased. Despite these errors, they rarely reduce communication significantly.
How to improve: To improve the score, focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy and clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement ("an upward trend was seen" should be "an upward trend was observed" for formal writing), correct use of articles ("the largest number" should be "a larger number"), and refine sentence structure to ensure precision in conveying ideas. Additionally, ensure consistency in verb tenses throughout the essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
Certainly! Here’s the improved version of the IELTS Task 1 report based on your original input:
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended quantity of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006, and 2010.
Overall, there was an upward trend among all groups in adhering to these guidelines, with women showing the highest adherence.
In 2002, 25% of women met the recommended intake, which was notably higher than the figures for men (22%) and children (11%). By 2006, these percentages rose to 32% for women, 28% for men, and 16% for children. However, by 2010, there was a slight decline, with rates dropping to 30% for women, 24% for men, and 14% for children.
In conclusion, the bar chart depicts changes in the proportion of men, women, and children in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables from 2002 to 2010. Women consistently showed the highest adherence to these dietary guidelines, followed by men and children. Despite fluctuations, the data suggests an overall positive trend towards healthier eating habits over the period.
This version retains the original data points and structure while ensuring clarity and accuracy in presenting the information.
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