The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000.

Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

You should write at least 150 words.

The supplied line chart express the amount o producing the major fuels invoveling coal, petroleum and natural gas in the UK for the duration of 1981 and 2000. It can be seen clearly that the data of 3 main fuels are of different levels.
According to the illustration, the production level of natural gas, coal, petroleum in 1981 are in turn40,80, and 90. Till 2000, the data has enomous changes that natural gas gains more than 100, coal drop under 40 and petroleum reach nearly 140. There are a significant fluctuation in the chart
As is prevented in the chart that the production of coal tends to decrease from 1981 to 2000 compared to others. There is a significant reduction in 1984. In contrary, the amount of coal are created relatively steadily from the year of 1981 to 1990 and tend to raise from 1991 to 2000. There iss an unstable upward and downward trend with the petroleum line. It starts to raise then drop and increase again.
Overall, it is oviously that there are many changes that petroleum and natural gas reach the hight point duringthe period of 1981 to 2000, however, coal is more droped out.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "express" -> "depicts"
    Explanation: "Express" is not commonly used in the context of describing data visualization. "Depicts" is a more appropriate and formal term to convey the idea of representing information through a chart or graph.

  2. "invoveling" -> "involving"
    Explanation: "Invoveling" is a misspelling of "involving."

  3. "enomous" -> "enormous"
    Explanation: "Enomous" is misspelled; the correct term is "enormous," meaning extremely large or significant.

  4. "in turn40" -> "in turn, 40"
    Explanation: There should be a comma after "turn" to separate it from the numerical value "40."

  5. "has enomous changes" -> "has undergone enormous changes"
    Explanation: "Enomous" should be corrected to "enormous," and the phrase should be structured to convey the idea of significant changes occurring over time.

  6. "fluctuation" -> "fluctuations"
    Explanation: The noun "fluctuation" should be pluralized to match the subject "changes."

  7. "As is prevented" -> "As is evident"
    Explanation: "Prevented" is incorrect in this context. "Evident" is a more suitable term to indicate that the information is clearly visible or apparent.

  8. "are created" -> "is produced"
    Explanation: "Are created" is an awkward choice of words. "Is produced" is a more appropriate term to describe the generation of coal.

  9. "iss" -> "is"
    Explanation: "Iss" is a typographical error; it should be corrected to "is."

  10. "hight" -> "high"
    Explanation: "Hight" is a misspelling of "high."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

[
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by summarizing the main features of the provided graph regarding the production levels of coal, petroleum, and natural gas in the UK from 1981 to 2000. However, it lacks clarity and coherence in presenting the information. There are some inaccuracies in reporting the data, such as stating "natural gas gains more than 100," which is unclear and does not accurately represent the data from the graph. Additionally, the essay lacks organization and coherence in presenting the information, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends and comparisons between the different fuels.
How to improve: To improve, the writer should focus on providing a clear and coherent overview of the main trends and comparisons presented in the graph. They should accurately report the data without inaccuracies or unclear statements. Additionally, organizing the essay in a more structured manner, with clear paragraphs discussing each fuel and its trends over the specified period, would enhance clarity and coherence. Furthermore, the essay should aim for more precise language and grammar to ensure clarity and effectiveness in communication.]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates some organization in presenting the information from the line chart regarding the production levels of coal, petroleum, and natural gas in the UK between 1981 and 2000. The essay attempts to summarize the main features and makes some relevant comparisons. However, there are issues with coherence and cohesion, including inadequate use of cohesive devices, lack of overall progression, and unclear paragraphing. The essay lacks clear referencing and substitution, leading to some repetitive expressions.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing the information logically with a clear overall progression. Ensure the use of appropriate cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs effectively. Work on improving referencing and substitution to avoid repetition and enhance clarity. Additionally, pay attention to paragraphing to ensure logical division and development of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 3

Band Score: 3.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a very limited range of vocabulary and lacks control of word formation and spelling. There are numerous errors throughout the text, which severely distort the message and hinder understanding. The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, making it challenging for the reader to follow the content.

How to Improve:
To improve the Lexical Resource score:

  1. Expand Vocabulary: Use a wider range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as specific terms related to energy production (e.g., "energy sources," "fuel extraction," "production levels").
  2. Work on Word Formation: Focus on forming words correctly and using appropriate grammar structures to convey ideas clearly.
  3. Improve Spelling: Pay close attention to spelling accuracy to enhance readability and overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, mostly comprising simple sentences with occasional attempts at complex structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including incorrect verb forms ("express" instead of "expresses," "invoveling" instead of "involving"), missing articles ("the" before "data"), and inconsistencies in verb tense usage ("prevented" instead of "presented," "is prevented" instead of "it is presented"). Punctuation is also faulty, with missing commas and periods. These errors hinder communication and distort meaning, making comprehension difficult for the reader.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, to enhance the overall coherence and sophistication of the essay. Additionally, thorough proofreading to correct grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation, is essential to ensure clarity and precision in communication. Furthermore, paying attention to article usage and word choice will contribute to more accurate and fluent expression.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided line chart illustrates the production levels of major fuels, namely coal, petroleum, and natural gas, in the UK from 1981 to 2000. It is evident that there are distinct variations in the production data of these three fuels over the specified period.

According to the illustration, the production levels of natural gas, coal, and petroleum in 1981 were approximately 40, 80, and 90, respectively. By the year 2000, considerable changes occurred, with natural gas production surpassing 100, coal production declining to below 40, and petroleum production nearly reaching 140. The chart exhibits significant fluctuations in production.

As observed, coal production demonstrated a declining trend from 1981 to 2000, particularly evident in a significant reduction in 1984. However, coal production remained relatively stable from 1981 to 1990, followed by a gradual increase from 1991 to 2000. Conversely, the petroleum line shows an unstable pattern, initially increasing, then declining, and subsequently increasing again.

Overall, it is apparent that there were notable shifts in production levels during the period from 1981 to 2000. While petroleum and natural gas experienced peaks, coal production experienced a decline.

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