The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There have been numerous controversies surrounding whether or not low-cost airlines foster people to travel more in recent days, bringing many advantages or disadvantages. This essay will explore some relevant impacts of both sides, and then express my own perspective.
To begin with, it is acknowledged that underpriced airline tickets may result in several drawbacks in the development of other societies' aspects. Because of excessive traveling, it may be the burden for local authorities to manage and deal with the problems relevant to the illegal tourism exploitation and unconscious visitors. In some cases, overpopulation of travelers can impact on the natural landscapes of the recovery and conservation. For example, after receiving a sky-rocket of tourists in 2022, Ha Long Bay authorities suffered from the serious disappearance of various natural stones, and tons of travel garbage into the waterways, which were difficult to solve and renovate in the next two years.
Despite many drawbacks associated with lower cost airline tickets, this phenomenon still causes different benefits to our communities. To be more specific, the suitable cost of air-transportation could create conditions for individuals to travel abroad for improving higher education, exploring various cultural backgrounds or finding job opportunities. Take exchange students as a prime example, if airline fee is a barrier for them to reunite with their families, it may lead to the unwillingness of going overseas and negatively affect studying, which primarily contributes to other economic industries. Another noteworthy merit is the enhancement of tourism, owing to the affordable prices relevant to the delivery expenditures. Due to this convenience, not only is tourism flourished, but also significantly increases in the cultivation of promote ethnic cultures, traditional cuisines and symbolized landscapes.
In conclusion, in spite of some adverse impacts of low-cost airlines, it is undeniable that this activity could give rise to the development of tourism in specific and other industries in general. As far as I am concerned, the government should encourage more affordable expenditure on air-delivery and implement practical policies to raise humans’ awareness associated with taking advantages without causing drawbacks.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"foster people to travel more" -> "encourage people to travel more"
Explanation: "Foster" is not typically used in this context; "encourage" is more appropriate and commonly used in academic writing to describe the promotion of activities or behaviors.
"in recent days" -> "recently"
Explanation: "In recent days" is a bit informal and vague; "recently" is more concise and formal, fitting better in academic contexts.
"underpriced airline tickets" -> "discounted airline tickets"
Explanation: "Underpriced" can imply a negative connotation of being too cheap, whereas "discounted" is neutral and more precise in describing reduced prices.
"may result in several drawbacks in the development of other societies’ aspects" -> "may lead to several drawbacks in various aspects of other societies"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly structured and unclear. The revised version clarifies the meaning and maintains a formal tone.
"excessive traveling" -> "excessive travel"
Explanation: "Traveling" is a gerund form that is less commonly used in formal writing; "travel" is the noun form, which is more appropriate in this context.
"the burden for local authorities" -> "a burden on local authorities"
Explanation: "The burden for" is grammatically incorrect; "a burden on" is the correct prepositional phrase for indicating the impact on someone or something.
"unconscious visitors" -> "unaware tourists"
Explanation: "Unconscious visitors" is unclear and incorrect; "unaware tourists" is more precise and contextually appropriate, referring to tourists who are uninformed or unaware of local rules or regulations.
"can impact on the natural landscapes of the recovery and conservation" -> "can impact the natural landscapes’ recovery and conservation"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly structured; the revised version clarifies the impact on the recovery and conservation of natural landscapes.
"sky-rocket of tourists" -> "surge in tourists"
Explanation: "Sky-rocket" is an idiom and too informal for academic writing; "surge" is a more formal term suitable for describing sudden increases.
"serious disappearance of various natural stones" -> "significant loss of natural stones"
Explanation: "Disappearance" implies complete loss, which might not be accurate; "loss" is more precise and appropriate for describing a reduction in quantity.
"ton of travel garbage" -> "tons of travel waste"
Explanation: "Ton" is singular and incorrect in this context; "tons" is plural and more appropriate for describing large quantities of waste.
"suitable cost of air-transportation" -> "affordable cost of air transportation"
Explanation: "Suitable" is vague and less formal; "affordable" is more specific and commonly used in academic discussions about cost and accessibility.
"delivery expenditures" -> "travel expenses"
Explanation: "Delivery expenditures" is unclear and awkward; "travel expenses" is the standard term used in academic and formal contexts to describe costs related to travel.
"not only is tourism flourished" -> "not only does tourism flourish"
Explanation: "Flourished" is the past tense of "flourish," which is incorrect in this context; "flourish" should be used in the present tense to describe ongoing or continuous action.
"significantly increases in the cultivation of promote ethnic cultures" -> "significantly promotes the cultivation of ethnic cultures"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward; the revision corrects the verb tense and clarifies the meaning.
"symbolized landscapes" -> "symbolic landscapes"
Explanation: "Symbolized" is incorrect; "symbolic" is the correct adjective form to describe landscapes that have symbolic meaning or significance.
"give rise to the development of tourism" -> "contribute to the development of tourism"
Explanation: "Give rise to" is somewhat formal but less common in this context; "contribute to" is a more standard and clear expression in academic writing.
"implement practical policies to raise humans’ awareness" -> "implement practical policies to raise public awareness"
Explanation: "Humans’ awareness" is awkward and informal; "public awareness" is the correct term and is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the impact of low-cost airlines. The first paragraph discusses the negative aspects, such as the burden on local authorities and environmental degradation, using Ha Long Bay as a relevant example. The second paragraph presents the positive aspects, including increased access to education and tourism benefits. However, while both sides are discussed, the depth of analysis on the negative side could be improved, as it is somewhat less developed compared to the positive side.
- How to improve: To enhance the response to all parts of the question, the writer should aim to balance the discussion more evenly. This could involve providing additional examples or elaborating further on the negative impacts, perhaps by discussing economic consequences or social issues that arise from increased tourism.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay concludes with a clear personal opinion that supports the benefits of low-cost airlines while acknowledging the drawbacks. However, the position could be more explicitly stated earlier in the essay to guide the reader. The phrase "as far as I am concerned" in the conclusion indicates a personal stance but could be reinforced throughout the essay for consistency.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction. For example, they could mention their belief that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks right at the beginning. Additionally, reiterating this position in the body paragraphs can help reinforce the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to both the advantages and disadvantages of low-cost airlines, with some supporting details. The use of specific examples, such as the situation in Ha Long Bay and the impact on exchange students, adds depth. However, some points, particularly regarding the negative aspects, lack sufficient elaboration and could benefit from further development.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, when discussing the negative impacts, they could include statistics or studies that illustrate the scale of the problem. Additionally, expanding on how the positive impacts contribute to broader societal benefits could strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the implications of low-cost airlines as prompted. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharper, particularly in the transition between discussing negative and positive aspects. The phrase "this phenomenon still causes different benefits to our communities" could be clearer in linking back to the topic of low-cost airlines specifically.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the central topic. Using topic sentences that directly reference low-cost airlines at the beginning of each paragraph can help maintain clarity and relevance. Additionally, ensuring that examples directly support the argument being made will keep the discussion tightly aligned with the prompt.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view. With improvements in depth of analysis, clarity of position, and focus on the topic, the essay could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, which helps maintain a logical flow. For example, the first body paragraph addresses the drawbacks of low-cost airlines, while the second highlights the benefits. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother; for instance, the shift from discussing drawbacks to benefits could be more explicitly marked to guide the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer transitional phrases to signal shifts in focus. For example, phrases like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" can help clarify when you are moving from one perspective to another. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea can further improve clarity.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph is dedicated to a specific point, such as the drawbacks of low-cost airlines and their benefits. However, the second body paragraph could be further subdivided to separate the discussion of educational opportunities from tourism benefits, as they are distinct ideas that could each merit their own focus.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, consider breaking down complex ideas into smaller, more digestible parts. For instance, after discussing the benefits of low-cost airlines for education, a new paragraph could focus solely on tourism benefits. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and enhance the overall clarity of the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and referencing, to connect ideas. Phrases like "to begin with" and "despite many drawbacks" effectively guide the reader through the argument. However, the essay could benefit from a wider range of cohesive devices, particularly in linking sentences within paragraphs and enhancing the flow between ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate more varied linking words and phrases. For example, using "furthermore," "in addition," or "however" can create smoother transitions between sentences and ideas. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and maintain cohesion throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "low-cost airlines," you could refer to them as "these carriers" or "budget airlines" in subsequent mentions.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, enhancing the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "underpriced," "exploitation," "overpopulation," and "enhancement" effectively conveying the writer’s ideas. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied or sophisticated. For example, the phrase "sky-rocket of tourists" is somewhat informal and could be replaced with "surge" or "influx" for a more academic tone.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should consider incorporating synonyms and more advanced terms. For instance, instead of repeating "traveling," they could use "journeying" or "voyaging." Additionally, exploring academic vocabulary related to tourism and economics could elevate the essay’s overall quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "illegal tourism exploitation," which accurately describes a specific issue. However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "the burden for local authorities to manage," which could be more clearly articulated. The phrase "the serious disappearance of various natural stones" is vague and could be better expressed as "the significant erosion of natural landscapes."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using specific terms that clearly convey their intended meaning. For example, instead of "travel garbage," they could specify "litter" or "waste." Additionally, ensuring that phrases are not overly general will help clarify the argument and strengthen the overall message.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally good level of spelling accuracy, with few errors. However, there are some spelling issues, such as "sky-rocket," which should be "skyrocket" when used as a verb, and "expenditure" which is correctly spelled but could be misused in context. The phrase "humans’ awareness associated with taking advantages" contains a grammatical error; it should be "taking advantage."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on commonly confused words and ensuring correct usage of terms. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors that might be overlooked during initial writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with a band score of 7, there are areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary, ensuring precise language use, and carefully proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases such as "Because of excessive traveling, it may be the burden for local authorities to manage and deal with the problems relevant to the illegal tourism exploitation and unconscious visitors." This showcases an attempt to convey intricate ideas. However, the essay also contains several instances of simpler sentence constructions that could be enhanced. For example, the sentence "To be more specific, the suitable cost of air-transportation could create conditions for individuals to travel abroad for improving higher education…" could be restructured to incorporate more complex clauses for better flow and sophistication.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more compound-complex sentences and use varied conjunctions to link ideas. For example, instead of starting sentences with "To begin with" or "Despite many drawbacks," the writer could use participial phrases or subordinate clauses to create more engaging openings. Additionally, varying the placement of clauses within sentences can enhance the overall rhythm and complexity of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "may result in several drawbacks in the development of other societies’ aspects" is awkwardly constructed and could be clearer. The use of "the burden for local authorities" is also somewhat misleading; it would be more precise to say "a burden on local authorities." Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which primarily contributes to other economic industries" to separate it from the preceding clause.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on sentence clarity and conciseness. Revising sentences for clarity, such as changing "may result in several drawbacks in the development of other societies’ aspects" to "may lead to several drawbacks in various aspects of society," would enhance understanding. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will help avoid run-on sentences and improve readability. Regularly reviewing grammar rules and seeking feedback on sentence structure can also aid in refining these skills.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on enhancing sentence variety and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

There have been numerous controversies surrounding whether or not low-cost airlines encourage people to travel more in recent days, bringing many advantages and disadvantages. This essay will explore some relevant impacts of both sides and then express my own perspective.

To begin with, it is acknowledged that discounted airline tickets may result in several drawbacks in the development of other societies’ aspects. Because of excessive travel, it may be a burden on local authorities to manage and deal with the problems related to illegal tourism exploitation and unaware tourists. In some cases, the overpopulation of travelers can impact the natural landscapes’ recovery and conservation. For example, after receiving a surge in tourists in 2022, Ha Long Bay authorities suffered from the serious disappearance of various natural stones and tons of travel waste in the waterways, which were difficult to solve and renovate in the next two years.

Despite many drawbacks associated with low-cost airline tickets, this phenomenon still brings different benefits to our communities. To be more specific, the affordable cost of air transportation could create conditions for individuals to travel abroad for improving higher education, exploring various cultural backgrounds, or finding job opportunities. Take exchange students as a prime example; if airline fees are a barrier for them to reunite with their families, it may lead to their unwillingness to go overseas and negatively affect their studies, which primarily contribute to other economic industries. Another noteworthy merit is the enhancement of tourism, owing to the affordable prices related to delivery expenditures. Due to this convenience, not only does tourism flourish, but it also significantly promotes the cultivation of ethnic cultures, traditional cuisines, and symbolic landscapes.

In conclusion, in spite of some adverse impacts of low-cost airlines, it is undeniable that this activity could give rise to the development of tourism in specific and other industries in general. As far as I am concerned, the government should encourage more affordable travel expenses and implement practical policies to raise public awareness about taking advantages without causing drawbacks.