The internet is more as disadvantages as advantages

Nowadays, the internet are developing extremely; although, the internet is very convenient for people in the life, but it also cause for everyone about its drawback. In my opinion, everything always have two sides, so does the internet.
Since the internet was invented, it have helped people in the life. Firstly, it very useful about collecting information on the flat world, espectically students and the young. For example, it has a number of documents, videos and other resources that people is vary easy to get access by a click. Moreover, it support individuals conect toghether. For instances, each personal can contact without travel or move to meet persons.
On the other hand, the internet also have drawbacks that block progress of people. First and foremost, it have effect on people’s health, espectially teenagers. For example, the young spend more time on surfing the internet that cause more health issues such as eyes sight, headache or bakache. Furthermore, people will lost the communication skill if they only denpend on internet. This prolem affect imediately their professtion in the life.
In conclusion, everything always have two sides; if each personal know how to choose good point to apply in life, the internet will become a tool very benifical.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays, the internet are developing extremely;" -> "Currently, the internet is developing rapidly;"
Explanation: "Nowadays" is somewhat informal and vague. "Currently" is more precise and formal. "Are" should be replaced with "is" for subject-verb agreement with "the internet."
"although, the internet is very convenient for people in the life, but it also cause for everyone about its drawback." -> "although the internet is very convenient for people in their lives, it also causes several drawbacks for everyone."
Explanation: "In the life" is incorrect and awkward. "In their lives" is the correct phrase. "Cause" should be "causes" for subject-verb agreement, and "about its drawback" should be "several drawbacks" for clarity and formality.
"everything always have two sides, so does the internet." -> "everything always has two sides, just as the internet does."
Explanation: "Have" should be "has" for subject-verb agreement. The phrase "so does the internet" is awkward and can be streamlined to "just as the internet does."
"it have helped people in the life." -> "it has helped people in their lives."
Explanation: "Have" should be "has" for subject-verb agreement. "In the life" should be "in their lives" for grammatical correctness and formality.
"it very useful about collecting information on the flat world," -> "it is very useful for collecting information from the global world,"
Explanation: "Very useful about" is incorrect; "very useful for" is the correct preposition. "Flat world" is an informal and unclear term; "global world" is more precise and formal.
"espectically students and the young." -> "especially students and the young."
Explanation: "Espectically" is a typographical error; "especially" is the correct word.
"it support individuals conect toghether." -> "it supports individuals in connecting with each other."
Explanation: "Support" should be "supports" for subject-verb agreement. "Conect toghether" is a spelling error and grammatically incorrect; "connecting with each other" is the correct phrase.
"For instances, each personal can contact without travel or move to meet persons." -> "For example, individuals can communicate without traveling or moving to meet others."
Explanation: "For instances" is incorrect; "For example" is the correct phrase. "Each personal" is awkward and incorrect; "individuals" is the correct noun form. "Contact" is vague; "communicate" is more specific and formal.
"it have effect on people’s health, espectially teenagers." -> "it has an impact on people’s health, especially teenagers."
Explanation: "Have effect" is awkward and incorrect; "has an impact" is more formal and precise. "Espectially" is a typographical error; "especially" is the correct word.
"the young spend more time on surfing the internet that cause more health issues" -> "the young spend more time surfing the internet, which causes more health issues"
Explanation: "That" is incorrectly used; "which" is the correct relative pronoun. The comma after "internet" is necessary for clarity and proper punctuation.
"people will lost the communication skill" -> "people will lose their communication skills"
Explanation: "Lost" should be "lose" for the future tense. "The communication skill" should be "their communication skills" for grammatical correctness and pluralization.
"This prolem affect imediately their professtion in the life." -> "This problem affects their profession immediately in life."
Explanation: "Prolem" is a typographical error; "problem" is the correct word. "Affect imediately" should be "affects immediately" for correct spelling and verb agreement. "Professon" is a typographical error; "profession" is the correct word.
"the internet will become a tool very benifical" -> "the internet will become a very beneficial tool"
Explanation: "Very benifical" is a typographical error; "beneficial" is the correct word. The word order should be "a very beneficial tool" for grammatical correctness.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both advantages and disadvantages of the internet, as prompted. It briefly mentions convenience and drawbacks but lacks depth in discussing specific advantages and disadvantages. For instance, while it briefly touches on benefits like access to information and easy communication, it fails to elaborate on specific examples or nuances of these advantages. Similarly, while it mentions health issues and communication skills as drawbacks, it lacks detailed analysis or examples.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should ensure a more balanced and comprehensive exploration of both sides of the argument. This can be achieved by providing specific examples, statistics, or personal experiences that illustrate each point more vividly. For example, discussing how access to information has revolutionized education or how over-dependence on the internet can impact interpersonal skills in a professional context.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay states a clear position that the internet has both advantages and disadvantages. However, the clarity and consistency of this position are undermined by the lack of detailed development or clear argumentation. The stance is presented in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion but lacks strong supporting arguments or a structured approach throughout the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity and consistency, the essay should adopt a more structured approach. This includes clearly outlining specific advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs and providing evidence or examples to support each point. Maintaining a focused stance throughout each paragraph will help in reinforcing the essay’s position effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about advantages and disadvantages of the internet, but they are not extensively developed or supported. There is a lack of detailed explanation or elaboration on each point. For instance, while mentioning health issues caused by excessive internet use, it does not delve into specific examples or studies to support this claim.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should focus on extending and supporting ideas with specific examples, evidence, or personal experiences. This can involve citing research studies, providing anecdotes, or referencing current events that illustrate the impact of the internet on health or communication skills. Elaborating on each idea will strengthen the essay’s argumentative depth and coherence.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the internet as prompted. However, there are instances where the discussion is somewhat superficial, lacking in-depth analysis or exploration of the topic. The essay briefly touches on health issues and communication skills but could benefit from a more focused and detailed examination of these aspects.
- How to improve: To stay more on topic, the essay should maintain a clear focus on discussing specific aspects of both advantages and disadvantages. This involves avoiding generalizations and instead, providing specific examples or scenarios that illustrate each point clearly. Staying concise while offering detailed insights will ensure the essay effectively addresses the topic throughout.

Overall, while the essay addresses the basic requirements of discussing both sides of the internet’s impact, it lacks depth, specificity, and coherence in its argumentation. Improvements in providing detailed examples, developing ideas with evidence, and maintaining a structured approach will significantly enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a brief conclusion. However, the coherence suffers due to inconsistent topic development and abrupt shifts between ideas. For instance, the essay moves abruptly from discussing the advantages of the internet to its disadvantages without smooth transitions.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, focus on maintaining a consistent flow of ideas throughout each paragraph. Start with a clear thesis statement that outlines both sides of the argument. Ensure each body paragraph discusses one main idea supported by examples. Use linking words and phrases (e.g., firstly, moreover, on the other hand, furthermore) to connect ideas more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate different ideas but lacks coherence within them. Each paragraph tends to mix multiple points without clear topic sentences or logical progression. For instance, the paragraph discussing disadvantages of the internet starts with health issues but shifts abruptly to communication skills without a clear transition.
- How to improve: Improve paragraph structure by starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea. Develop this idea coherently with supporting details and examples. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one aspect of the argument (advantage or disadvantage), avoiding unrelated tangents. Use concluding sentences to summarize each paragraph and transition smoothly to the next.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks variety in cohesive devices, relying mainly on basic transitional words (e.g., although, moreover, first and foremost). There is limited use of more sophisticated cohesive devices such as pronouns (it, this), referencing (the former, the latter), or cohesive phrases (due to, as a result).
- How to improve: Increase the use of cohesive devices to improve coherence. Introduce pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned ideas (e.g., "this issue" instead of repeating "the problem"). Use cohesive phrases to show cause and effect relationships or contrast between ideas (e.g., "as a result," "on the contrary"). Ensure cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to help readers follow the logical progression of ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of coherence and cohesion, there is room for improvement in organizing ideas more logically, structuring paragraphs effectively, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. By implementing these suggestions, the coherence and cohesion of the essay can be significantly enhanced, potentially raising the band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, albeit with some repetition and occasional inaccuracies. For instance, phrases like "developing extremely," "block progress," and "espectially teenagers" indicate an attempt at varied vocabulary. However, there are instances where more precise vocabulary could enhance clarity and depth of expression.
- How to improve: To improve the range of vocabulary, aim for more diverse synonyms and expressions. For example, instead of "developing extremely," consider "rapidly evolving" or "expanding significantly." Replace vague terms like "very useful" with more specific descriptors such as "highly beneficial" or "invaluable." This would enrich the essay’s lexical resource and make the arguments more compelling.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary, precision in word choice is inconsistent. There are instances of imprecise usage, such as "block progress" which could be clearer as "hinder progress." Additionally, spelling errors like "espectically" instead of "especially" affect precision.
- How to improve: Focus on choosing precise words that accurately convey your intended meaning. Review the essay for common errors like misspellings ("espectically"), and consider using a spell-check tool to catch such mistakes. Use a dictionary or thesaurus to find more precise alternatives to common words, ensuring each word used contributes directly to the clarity and depth of your argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several spelling errors throughout, such as "espectically" (especially), "bakache" (backache), and inconsistent use of capitalization ("internet," "prolem"). These errors, though they do not obscure comprehension, detract from the overall professionalism and coherence of the writing.
- How to improve: Improving spelling accuracy involves regular practice and attention to detail. Consider using spelling and grammar check tools, such as those available in word processors or online writing platforms. Reviewing your writing carefully before submission can also help catch errors. For specific words that are frequently misspelled, create a personal list for reference and practice.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and attempts to use a variety of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in precision, consistency, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the clarity and effectiveness of the essay can be significantly enhanced, potentially leading to a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a mix of sentence structures, including simple and compound sentences. There is an attempt at complex structures, though not consistently. For example, "Since the internet was invented, it have helped people in the life" shows an attempt at a complex structure but lacks grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical range, focus on incorporating more complex sentence structures such as relative clauses ("which", "who"), conditional sentences ("if…then"), and passive voice constructions where appropriate. This can enrich the essay’s coherence and sophistication.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of grammatical errors throughout the essay, affecting clarity and coherence. For instance, "it have helped people in the life" should be corrected to "it has helped people in their lives". Punctuation errors such as missing commas and incorrect use of semicolons are also noticeable.
- How to improve: Improving grammar and punctuation accuracy involves careful proofreading and attention to detail. Focus on subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and correct punctuation usage (commas for separating clauses, semicolons for joining related independent clauses). Reviewing each sentence for clarity and correctness before submission is crucial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of sentence structures and grammar, there is significant room for improvement in both areas. Enhancing the variety and accuracy of sentence structures, along with meticulous attention to grammar and punctuation, will help elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, the internet is developing rapidly. Although it is very convenient for people in their lives, it also has several drawbacks for everyone. In my opinion, everything always has two sides, just as the internet does.

Since the internet was invented, it has helped people in their lives. Firstly, it is very useful for collecting information from around the world, especially for students and the young. For example, there are numerous documents, videos, and other resources that people can easily access with a click. Moreover, it supports individuals in connecting with each other. For instance, people can communicate without needing to travel or move to meet others.

On the other hand, the internet also has drawbacks that hinder people’s progress. First and foremost, it has an impact on people’s health, especially teenagers. For example, young people spend more time surfing the internet, which causes health issues such as eyesight problems, headaches, or backaches. Furthermore, people may lose their communication skills if they rely too heavily on the internet. This problem affects their professional life immediately.

In conclusion, everything always has two sides; if each person knows how to choose the positive aspects to apply in life, the internet will become a very beneficial tool.