the line graph illustrates the number of customers complaints in 2 years 2015 and 2014 in a particular country

The given graph gives information about the figure of user complaints over a two-year period, 2014 and 2015.
Overall, it can be seen that the number of complaints in the two year is fluctuated, with some months showing similar complaint between 2014 and 2015.
Beginning with the time between January and September. In 2015, the complaints started at approximately 27 then it decreased to exactly 15. From April to September the complaints decreased to 12 complaints. In 2014, it started at approximately 18 complaints then decreased significantly to 5 complaints by the end of the month, from February to September the line fluctuated then stood at 10 complaints.
In contrast, from October to December 2015, the complaints are likely to have tren to go up, at it raises to 29 complaints at the end of the period. There is no big change in 2014

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the figure of user complaints" -> "the number of user complaints"
Explanation: "Figure" is too vague in this context. "Number" is more precise and commonly used in academic writing to refer to quantities.
"the two year is fluctuated" -> "the two years fluctuated"
Explanation: The phrase "the two year is fluctuated" is grammatically incorrect. The correct form is "the two years fluctuated," which uses the past tense appropriately.
"showing similar complaint" -> "showing similar complaints"
Explanation: "Complaint" should be pluralized to "complaints" to match the context of discussing multiple instances.
"Beginning with the time between January and September" -> "Beginning with the period between January and September"
Explanation: "Period" is a more formal and precise term than "time," which enhances the academic tone of the writing.
"the complaints started at approximately 27 then it decreased to exactly 15" -> "the complaints started at approximately 27 and then decreased to exactly 15"
Explanation: The conjunction "and" is needed to connect the two clauses properly, improving the flow of the sentence.
"the complaints decreased to 12 complaints" -> "the complaints decreased to 12"
Explanation: The repetition of the word "complaints" is unnecessary. The sentence is clearer and more concise without it.
"it started at approximately 18 complaints then decreased significantly to 5 complaints by the end of the month" -> "it started at approximately 18 complaints and then decreased significantly to 5 by the end of the month"
Explanation: The conjunction "and" is needed for clarity, and "complaints" can be omitted in the second instance for conciseness.
"from February to September the line fluctuated then stood at 10 complaints" -> "from February to September, the number of complaints fluctuated and then stabilized at 10"
Explanation: "The line fluctuated" is vague; specifying "the number of complaints" adds clarity. "Stabilized" is a more precise term than "stood" in this context.
"the complaints are likely to have tren to go up" -> "the complaints are likely to have trended upward"
Explanation: "Tren" appears to be a typographical error. "Trended upward" is a more formal and precise way to describe an increase.
"at it raises to 29 complaints at the end of the period" -> "as it rose to 29 complaints by the end of the period"
Explanation: "At it raises" is grammatically incorrect. "As it rose" uses the correct verb form and improves clarity.
"There is no big change in 2014" -> "There was no significant change in 2014"
Explanation: "Big" is too informal for academic writing; "significant" is a more appropriate term that conveys the intended meaning in a formal context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay recounts detail mechanically with no clear overview. The essay presents, but inadequately covers, key features/bullet points. There is a tendency to focus on details.

How to improve: The essay needs to provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay should also focus on presenting the key features/bullet points of the data, rather than simply recounting details. For example, the essay could state that the number of complaints in 2015 was generally higher than in 2014, and that the number of complaints in both years peaked in December. The essay could also highlight the fact that the number of complaints in 2015 decreased from January to September, while the number of complaints in 2014 fluctuated during this period.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe the trends in customer complaints over the two years, the structure is somewhat disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of information. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, leading to confusion. For instance, phrases like "the complaints are likely to have tren to go up" are unclear and detract from the overall coherence. Additionally, the paragraphing is not used effectively, as the ideas do not transition smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing the information in a more logical sequence. This can be achieved by clearly outlining the trends for each year in separate paragraphs and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic. The use of cohesive devices should be varied and appropriate, avoiding repetition and ensuring that references are clear. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will help improve the overall readability of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the data presented in the graph, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with phrases like "the number of complaints" and "decreased to." There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as "the complaints are likely to have tren to go up" and "it raises to 29 complaints," which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Additionally, there are errors in spelling and word formation, such as "fluctuated" being used incorrectly as "fluctuated" instead of "fluctuating." Overall, while the essay conveys some information, the lexical resource is limited and lacks sophistication.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, and ensure that word choices are precise and appropriate for the context. Additionally, avoiding repetitive phrases and incorporating synonyms can enhance the richness of the language. Paying attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy will also help in conveying the message more clearly.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentence forms with some attempts at complex sentences. However, the accuracy of these attempts is inconsistent, leading to frequent grammatical errors. For example, phrases like "the two year is fluctuated" and "the complaints are likely to have tren to go up" contain significant errors that hinder clarity. While the meaning can still be inferred, the errors can cause some difficulty for the reader, which aligns with the characteristics of a Band 5 score.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of grammatical structures, including more complex sentences while ensuring accuracy. This can be done by practicing sentence variety and reviewing grammar rules to minimize errors. Additionally, proofreading for common mistakes and ensuring that all sentences are complete and correctly structured would enhance clarity and coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given graph provides information about the number of customer complaints over a two-year period, 2014 and 2015. Overall, it can be observed that the number of complaints during the two years fluctuated, with some months showing similar complaint levels between 2014 and 2015.

Beginning with the period from January to September, in 2015, the complaints started at approximately 27 and then decreased to exactly 15. From April to September, the complaints further declined to 12. In 2014, the complaints began at around 18 and decreased significantly to 5 by the end of the month; from February to September, the line fluctuated before stabilizing at 10 complaints.

In contrast, from October to December 2015, the complaints appeared to trend upwards, rising to 29 complaints by the end of the period. There was no significant change in the number of complaints in 2014 during this time frame.