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The line graph shows the amount of exports of clothing products from Vietnam betweem 2000 and 2020. The bark chart gives the most popuplar countries for clothing exports from Vietnam in 2020. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

The line graph shows the amount of exports of clothing products from Vietnam betweem 2000 and 2020.
The bark chart gives the most popuplar countries for clothing exports from Vietnam in 2020.
Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

– The provided line graph above depicts the volume of exported clothes from VietNam starting from 2000 to 2020. Among the graphs is the bar chart, which indicates the five most common exporting markets of Vietnam.
– Overall, there is an upward trend in the line graph. Although the line dropped down at a certain time, the sales continued to grow back later. In the second chart, China held the position of being the biggest export market of Vietnam, and Turkey was the smallest client.
– In 2000, the number of sales was around 4 million USD and increased to 8 million USD after 5 years. However, the line dropped to approximately 5 millions USD in 2010. Despite some fluctuations at the benign it helped grow back 5 years later and reached its peak at the end of the graph.
-In the overseas market, China is the best country for Vietnam to export their textile products that Vietnam received over 8 millions dollars from selling to China. The following market is the USA with over 6 million dollars,Thailand with nearly 2 millions USD, Sweden with 1,5 million USD and for the least is Turkey with a modest amount of 1 millions dollars in 2020.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "the provided line graph above" -> "the line graph presented above"
    Explanation: "Provided" is somewhat informal and less precise in this context. "Presented" conveys a more formal tone appropriate for academic writing.

  2. "the volume of exported clothes from VietNam" -> "the volume of clothing exports from Vietnam"
    Explanation: "Clothing exports" is a more concise and formal phrase than "exported clothes." Additionally, "Vietnam" should be spelled with a lowercase "n" for consistency with standard usage.

  3. "the bar chart, which indicates the five most common exporting markets of Vietnam" -> "the bar chart, which illustrates the five largest export markets for Vietnam"
    Explanation: "Illustrates" is a more precise verb than "indicates," and "largest export markets" is clearer and more formal than "most common exporting markets."

  4. "there is an upward trend in the line graph" -> "the line graph demonstrates an upward trend"
    Explanation: "Demonstrates" is a stronger verb than "is," enhancing the academic tone of the statement.

  5. "the line dropped down at a certain time" -> "the line experienced a decline at a specific point"
    Explanation: "Experienced a decline" is more formal and precise than "dropped down," and "specific point" is clearer than "certain time."

  6. "the sales continued to grow back later" -> "sales subsequently rebounded"
    Explanation: "Subsequently rebounded" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea of recovery in sales.

  7. "the number of sales was around 4 million USD" -> "the sales volume was approximately 4 million USD"
    Explanation: "Sales volume" is a more precise term than "number of sales," which can be vague.

  8. "the line dropped to approximately 5 millions USD in 2010" -> "the line declined to approximately 5 million USD in 2010"
    Explanation: "Declined" is a more formal verb than "dropped," and "million" should be singular when used with "approximately."

  9. "Despite some fluctuations at the benign it helped grow back 5 years later" -> "Despite some fluctuations at the beginning, it rebounded five years later"
    Explanation: "Beginning" is the correct term instead of "benign," and "rebounded" is a more precise term than "helped grow back."

  10. "China is the best country for Vietnam to export their textile products" -> "China is the largest market for Vietnam’s textile exports"
    Explanation: "Largest market" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea than "best country for export."

  11. "that Vietnam received over 8 millions dollars from selling to China" -> "from which Vietnam earned over 8 million dollars in exports"
    Explanation: "Earned" is more formal than "received," and "in exports" clarifies the context.

  12. "the following market is the USA with over 6 million dollars,Thailand with nearly 2 millions USD, Sweden with 1,5 million USD and for the least is Turkey with a modest amount of 1 millions dollars in 2020" -> "the subsequent markets include the USA with over 6 million dollars, Thailand with nearly 2 million USD, Sweden with 1.5 million USD, and Turkey, which had the smallest share at 1 million dollars in 2020."
    Explanation: "Subsequent markets" is more formal than "the following market," and "had the smallest share" is clearer than "for the least is." Additionally, the formatting of numbers is standardized for clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the data, but it does not fully address all the requirements of the task. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in the line graph, and it does not make comparisons between the two charts. The essay also includes some irrelevant details, such as the statement that "the line dropped down at a certain time, the sales continued to grow back later." This statement is not relevant to the task, and it does not provide any useful information about the data.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the line graph. The essay could also be improved by making comparisons between the two charts. For example, the essay could compare the amount of exports to China in 2020 to the amount of exports to other countries. The essay could also be improved by removing irrelevant details.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents a coherent overview of the data, with a clear overall progression from the introduction to the analysis of the line graph and the bar chart. However, while the information is arranged in a generally logical manner, there are instances where the cohesion between sentences could be improved. The use of cohesive devices is evident but at times appears mechanical, leading to some awkward phrasing. Additionally, the paragraphing is somewhat logical but could be better structured to enhance clarity and flow.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the use of cohesive devices to create smoother transitions between ideas. This could involve varying the types of cohesive devices used and ensuring that they are applied appropriately. Improving paragraphing by clearly separating distinct ideas or themes into separate paragraphs would also help in presenting a clearer structure. Lastly, ensuring that all numerical data is presented accurately and consistently would strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with some attempts to use less common vocabulary. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the line dropped down at a certain time" and "the number of sales was around 4 million USD." Additionally, there are errors in spelling and word formation, such as "VietNam," "popuplar," "millions," and "benign." While these errors do not completely impede communication, they do detract from the overall clarity and precision of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision and accuracy. This includes avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring correct spelling and word formation. Additionally, incorporating more sophisticated lexical items and varying sentence structures could improve the fluency and flexibility of the vocabulary used. Finally, careful proofreading to eliminate minor errors would contribute to a more polished and professional presentation.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. While there are some attempts at complex structures, they are not consistently accurate. The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as "the line dropped down at a certain time" and "the sales continued to grow back later," which can lead to confusion. Additionally, there are issues with punctuation and word choice, such as "the best country for Vietnam to export their textile products that Vietnam received over 8 millions dollars," which affects clarity. However, the errors do not significantly impede communication, aligning with the Band 6 descriptor.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on improving grammatical accuracy and expanding their range of sentence structures. This can be done by practicing complex sentences and ensuring that they are grammatically correct. Additionally, paying attention to punctuation and word choice will enhance clarity. Regularly reviewing and editing the essay for errors before submission can also help in achieving a more polished final product.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided line graph depicts the volume of exported clothing products from Vietnam from 2000 to 2020. Accompanying this is a bar chart that illustrates the five most significant export markets for Vietnam’s clothing in 2020.

Overall, the line graph demonstrates an upward trend in exports over the two decades. Although there was a decline at one point, the sales rebounded subsequently. In the bar chart, China emerged as the largest export market for Vietnam, while Turkey represented the smallest client.

In 2000, the value of clothing exports was approximately 4 million USD, which increased to 8 million USD after five years. However, the figure dropped to around 5 million USD in 2010. Despite some fluctuations at the beginning, exports grew again five years later, ultimately reaching their peak by the end of the period represented in the graph.

In the overseas market, China stands out as the primary destination for Vietnam’s textile products, generating over 8 million USD in sales. The second-largest market is the USA, with exports exceeding 6 million USD, followed by Thailand with nearly 2 million USD, Sweden with 1.5 million USD, and Turkey, which accounted for a modest 1 million USD in 2020.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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