The line graph shows the sales figures for bananas imported to 4 countries from 1996 to 2004.

The graph illustrates the cost of bananas that came from abroad in Japan, France, German, USA between 1996 and 2004.
Overall, there was an increase in the cost of bananas in German and USA, while a remaining cost of bananas was seen in Japan and France. In addition, In 3 countries except for the USA, the cost of bananas was a dramatic fluctuation in 9 years.
The prices of Japan started at 2 USD per kg in 1996, after which it experienced a significant rise to 3 USD in 1998. It continued fluctuation between 2 USD per kg and 2.5 USD per kg in 4 years from 1999 to 2002, meanwhile it reach a low of 1.5 USD per kg in 2003 and ending the period at 2 USD per kg. The prices of bananas in France was at 2 USD per kg in 1996, followed by a remain in 3 years to 1998, with a sharp fluctuation from 1998 to 2003, with respectively figures being 1.5 USD per kg in 1999, 2 USD per kg in 2000, 1.7 USD per kg in 2002 and 2 USD per kg in 2003. This ended and remained at 2 USD per kg in 2004.
Roughly, 1.5 USD was the cost of bananas in German in 1996, with the insignificant decline to 1.25 USD per kg in 1997. The figure saw a sharp increase to 2.7 USD per kg in 1998, after which it fluctuates extremely between bounces and ending at 1.7 USD per kg in 2004. The prices of USA are always lowest in 4 counties, starting at 1 USD per kg in 1996 and remaining in 1997. It witnessed an increase to 1.3 USD per kg in 1998, and it has decreased about 1.1 USD per kg from 2000 to 2003. After 9 years it cost 1.2 USD per kg in 2004.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The graph illustrates the cost of bananas that came from abroad in Japan, France, German, USA between 1996 and 2004." -> "The graph illustrates the cost of bananas imported from Japan, France, Germany, and the USA between 1996 and 2004."
Explanation: Correcting "German" to "Germany" and "USA" to "the USA" addresses geographical and grammatical errors. Adding "imported" clarifies the origin of the bananas, enhancing the accuracy of the description. Using "between" instead of "between" corrects the plural form of "years."
"a remaining cost of bananas was seen in Japan and France" -> "the cost of bananas remained stable in Japan and France"
Explanation: Replacing "a remaining cost of bananas was seen" with "the cost of bananas remained stable" corrects the awkward phrasing and clarifies the meaning, making it more direct and formal.
"In addition, In 3 countries except for the USA, the cost of bananas was a dramatic fluctuation in 9 years." -> "Furthermore, in three countries excluding the USA, the cost of bananas experienced significant fluctuations over nine years."
Explanation: Replacing "In addition, In" with "Furthermore," corrects the grammatical error. Changing "a dramatic fluctuation in 9 years" to "significant fluctuations over nine years" uses more precise language and corrects the numerical reference to "years."
"The prices of Japan started at 2 USD per kg in 1996, after which it experienced a significant rise to 3 USD in 1998." -> "The price of bananas in Japan began at 2 USD per kilogram in 1996, subsequently rising significantly to 3 USD in 1998."
Explanation: Changing "The prices of Japan" to "The price of bananas in Japan" corrects the grammatical structure, and replacing "started" with "began" and "USD per kg" with "USD per kilogram" uses more formal and precise terminology.
"The prices of bananas in France was at 2 USD per kg in 1996, followed by a remain in 3 years to 1998" -> "The price of bananas in France was 2 USD per kilogram in 1996, remaining stable for three years until 1998."
Explanation: Correcting "was at" to "was" and "followed by a remain" to "remaining stable" corrects grammatical errors and improves clarity. Replacing "3 years to 1998" with "for three years until 1998" provides a more precise temporal description.
"Roughly, 1.5 USD was the cost of bananas in German in 1996" -> "Approximately, 1.5 USD was the cost of bananas in Germany in 1996"
Explanation: Correcting "Roughly" to "Approximately" and "German" to "Germany" corrects geographical and adverbial errors, enhancing the formal tone of the text.
"The figure saw a sharp increase to 2.7 USD per kg in 1998, after which it fluctuates extremely between bounces and ending at 1.7 USD per kg in 2004." -> "The figure experienced a significant increase to 2.7 USD per kilogram in 1998, followed by significant fluctuations between 1998 and 2004, ending at 1.7 USD per kilogram."
Explanation: Replacing "saw a sharp increase" with "experienced a significant increase" and "it fluctuates extremely between bounces" with "significant fluctuations between" corrects awkward phrasing and enhances precision. Adding "followed by significant fluctuations between 1998 and 2004" clarifies the timeline and provides a more formal description.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data. Instead, it recounts details mechanically, with no clear overview. The essay also presents, but inadequately covers, key features/bullet points. There is a tendency to focus on details rather than the overall trends.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clear overview of the main trends in the data. For example, the essay could state that the cost of bananas increased in Germany and the USA, while it remained relatively stable in Japan and France. The essay could also highlight the key features of the data, such as the sharp increase in the cost of bananas in Germany in 1998 and the fluctuation in the cost of bananas in Japan and France. The essay should also avoid focusing on details and instead focus on the overall trends in the data.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. While the writer attempts to describe the trends in banana prices across different countries, the flow of information is inconsistent, and the connections between ideas are not always clear. There are instances of inadequate referencing and substitution, leading to some repetition of phrases. Additionally, the paragraphing is not logical; for example, the transitions between countries are abrupt, which disrupts the coherence of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on creating clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using cohesive devices more effectively, such as linking words (e.g., "however," "in contrast," "similarly"), would help clarify relationships between points. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and logically progresses from one idea to the next would improve overall organization. Finally, reducing redundancy and ensuring accurate referencing would contribute to a more cohesive essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the sales figures, the use of vocabulary is repetitive and lacks sophistication. There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as "a remaining cost" and "fluctuation in 9 years," which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Additionally, there are several spelling and grammatical errors, such as "German" instead of "Germany" and "with respectively figures being," which further detract from clarity. Overall, the lexical resource is basic and does not effectively convey precise meanings.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary and expressions. Incorporating less common lexical items and ensuring accurate word choice would help convey more precise meanings. Additionally, paying attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy is crucial. Practicing the use of synonyms and varying sentence structures could also improve the overall quality of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. While there are some accurate sentences, frequent grammatical errors (e.g., "the cost of bananas that came from abroad in Japan, France, German, USA") and punctuation issues are present. These errors occasionally hinder clarity and comprehension, particularly in the description of data trends. The essay lacks the necessary variety and accuracy in sentence structures to achieve a higher band score.

How to improve:

Expand Sentence Variety: Incorporate more complex sentence structures to enhance the grammatical range. For example, use subordinate clauses to provide additional information.
Focus on Accuracy: Review and correct grammatical errors, especially subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., "German" should be "Germany").
Enhance Cohesion: Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas and ensure that the relationships between different data points are clear.
Proofread: Take time to proofread the essay for punctuation errors and overall clarity to ensure that the meaning is conveyed accurately.

Bài sửa mẫu

The graph illustrates the cost of bananas imported to Japan, France, Germany, and the USA between 1996 and 2004. Overall, there was an increase in the cost of bananas in Germany and the USA, while the prices remained relatively stable in Japan and France. Additionally, in three countries, except for the USA, there was significant fluctuation in banana prices over the nine-year period.

The price in Japan started at 2 USD per kg in 1996, after which it experienced a significant rise to 3 USD in 1998. It continued to fluctuate between 2 USD per kg and 2.5 USD per kg from 1999 to 2002, reaching a low of 1.5 USD per kg in 2003 and ending the period at 2 USD per kg. The price of bananas in France was also 2 USD per kg in 1996, remaining stable until 1998. However, it experienced sharp fluctuations from 1998 to 2003, with respective figures of 1.5 USD per kg in 1999, 2 USD per kg in 2000, 1.7 USD per kg in 2002, and 2 USD per kg in 2003. This price remained constant at 2 USD per kg in 2004.

In Germany, the cost of bananas was approximately 1.5 USD in 1996, followed by a slight decline to 1.25 USD per kg in 1997. The figure saw a sharp increase to 2.7 USD per kg in 1998, after which it fluctuated significantly, ending at 1.7 USD per kg in 2004. The prices in the USA were consistently the lowest among the four countries, starting at 1 USD per kg in 1996 and remaining stable in 1997. It witnessed an increase to 1.3 USD per kg in 1998, followed by a decrease to about 1.1 USD per kg from 2000 to 2003. By 2004, the cost was 1.2 USD per kg.