the map below shows a town centre in 1990 and the same town centre today

The two maps illustrate the change of a town centre in the year 1990 and today.Overall, this town center has been witnessed dramatical development with the disappearance of shops and improvement of facilities. Among those changes, the most noticeable one is the development of houses into apartment blocks.In detail, the chain of shops in the north of the town centre which included: Newsagent’s, Grocer’s, Baker’s, Butcher’s and Cafe, has merged and replaced by a shopping mall. Moreover, the Smith Street, which has used for cars’ movement, has blocked two sides and converted into a walking street. In particular, the centre area, which consisted of park, library and town hall, has remained unchanged from 1990 to nowadays. Likewise, a bank which located in the northeast of town centre, has stayed unchanged.Furthermore, there was a bank in the east side of this town that have transformed in a cafe which is linked to center area by a crossing. In the southeast of town centre, accommodations have converted into apartment blocks. In addition, there is a chain of apartment blocks that was a wide range of houses in 1990.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"witnessed dramatical development" -> "experienced significant development"
Explanation: "Dramatical" is not a standard English word. "Significant" is a more precise and formal term to describe substantial changes.
"development of houses into apartment blocks" -> "conversion of residential structures into apartment complexes"
Explanation: "Development" may imply construction of new buildings, while "conversion" accurately depicts the transformation of existing structures. "Apartment complexes" is a more specific term than "apartment blocks."
"has merged and replaced by" -> "have merged and been replaced by"
Explanation: Correct subject-verb agreement. "Merged" and "replaced" should agree with "shops," the plural subject.
"which has used for cars’ movement" -> "which was used for vehicular traffic"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect. "Vehicular traffic" is a more formal and precise term than "cars’ movement."
"walking street" -> "pedestrian zone"
Explanation: "Pedestrian zone" is a more formal and widely used term to describe an area closed to vehicular traffic.
"remained unchanged from 1990 to nowadays" -> "remained unchanged from 1990 to the present"
Explanation: "Nowadays" is informal; "present" is a more formal alternative.
"which located in the northeast" -> "located in the northeast"
Explanation: Remove "which" for smoother sentence structure.
"there was a bank" -> "there used to be a bank"
Explanation: "There used to be" is a more appropriate phrase to denote past existence.
"have transformed in a cafe" -> "has been transformed into a cafe"
Explanation: Correct tense agreement; "has been transformed" matches the past tense of the sentence.
"accommodations have converted into apartment blocks" -> "residential accommodations have been converted into apartment complexes"
Explanation: "Residential accommodations" is a more formal term than "accommodations." "Apartment complexes" is a more specific term than "apartment blocks."
"there is a chain of apartment blocks that was a wide range of houses" -> "there is a chain of apartment complexes that previously consisted of a variety of houses"
Explanation: Clarify the transition from houses to apartment complexes. "Consisted of" is more precise than "was a wide range of."

These suggestions aim to enhance clarity, precision, and formality in the essay’s vocabulary usage.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main changes in the town center from 1990 to the present day. It clearly presents and highlights key features, such as the disappearance of shops, the conversion of streets into pedestrian areas, and the development of apartment blocks. The essay also mentions unchanged elements, like the park, library, and town hall. However, some details lack clarity and precision, and there are minor grammatical errors that could affect the overall coherence.

How to improve: To enhance clarity and coherence, ensure that each sentence is grammatically correct and that the details provided are accurate and relevant. Additionally, strive for a more varied vocabulary and sentence structure to make the essay more engaging.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information about the changes in the town center from 1990 to the present. It generally organizes the information coherently, with a clear introduction and descriptions of various changes in different parts of the town center. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices, such as transition words like "Moreover" and "Likewise," to connect ideas. However, there are instances of faulty cohesion within and between sentences. For instance, some sentences lack clear connections to the preceding or following sentences, leading to a somewhat disjointed flow of ideas. Additionally, the essay lacks consistency in paragraphing, with some paragraphs being longer than necessary and others being too short.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring that each sentence logically follows from the previous one and leads smoothly into the next. Use a variety of cohesive devices consistently and appropriately throughout the essay to enhance the overall coherence. Additionally, aim for more consistent and logical paragraphing, grouping related ideas together and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, often repeating basic words and phrases. While some specific terms related to the town center are used (e.g., shops, park, library), there is a lack of varied and precise vocabulary to describe the changes. Additionally, there are noticeable errors in word choice and word formation throughout the essay (e.g., "dramatical" instead of "dramatic," "has merged and replaced" is awkwardly phrased). The essay also lacks sophistication in expression, with simple and repetitive language.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, the writer should aim to expand their vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to describe the changes in the town center. They should also focus on using correct word forms and avoid repetitive phrasing. Additionally, proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors would enhance clarity and coherence in the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. It attempts to use a variety of structures, including descriptive phrases and clauses, though not always with full accuracy. There are instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout the essay, but they do not significantly impede communication. The essay shows an attempt to vary sentence structure and use descriptive language to convey changes in the town center.

How to improve: To improve, the essay could benefit from more precise and accurate use of grammar and punctuation. Ensuring consistency in verb tense usage and subject-verb agreement would enhance clarity. Additionally, incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures with greater accuracy would elevate the complexity of the writing. Finally, careful proofreading to correct errors and refine expression would enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps compare the layout of a town center in 1990 with its current configuration. Overall, significant transformations have occurred, marked by the disappearance of individual shops and the emergence of enhanced amenities. The most prominent alteration involves the conversion of residential houses into apartment complexes.

Specifically, a cluster of shops located to the north of the town center, comprising a Newsagent’s, Grocer’s, Baker’s, Butcher’s, and Cafe, has been amalgamated and replaced by a shopping mall. Additionally, Smith Street, previously designated for vehicular traffic, has been pedestrianized, with vehicular access restricted, transforming it into a promenade. Notably, the central area, encompassing a park, library, and town hall, has remained unaltered from 1990 to the present. Similarly, a bank situated in the northeastern quadrant of the town center has maintained its original configuration.

Furthermore, a bank situated in the eastern sector of the town has been repurposed into a cafe, now connected to the central area by a crosswalk. In the southeastern region of the town center, residential accommodations have been converted into apartment complexes. Additionally, a series of apartment blocks now occupy the area that previously featured a variety of houses in 1990.