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The Map Below shows the changes that occurred to a town named Willington in 1780, 1860 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The Map Below shows the changes that occurred to a town named Willington in 1780, 1860 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs illustrate how the Willington town has changed from 1780 to 2000. Overall, it went through many drastic changes, the most important of which were the building of new roadways, cutting down of trees, expansion of residential areas, and establishment of amenities catering to the growing needs of the town’s inhabitants.

In 1780, there used to be four large farms to the west of the river and 100 private homes in the north-western part of the town. In addition, a large vast green area was located in the southwest.

Turning to the year 1890, a bridge had been constructed in the northwest to give residents access to other regions. To its south, two farms had been removed, and the two remaining ones had been relocated to the town’s center to give way to the construction of a new road in the North. Significant changes were also made to the west wing, where 100 new homes had been built and the forest had been diminished in size.

Moving to 2000, a row of shops had been opened along the river, accompanied by the appearance of a Westland for birds in the southwest. The number of private houses in the north-west increased to 500 households. To the south of the residential area, a new road had been built to connect this area to schools and sports fields, which had been erected at the expense of the woodlands.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "went through many drastic changes" -> "underwent numerous profound transformations"
    Explanation: Replacing "went through many drastic changes" with "underwent numerous profound transformations" introduces a more formal and precise expression, emphasizing the significant nature of the alterations.

  2. "building of new roadways" -> "construction of new thoroughfares"
    Explanation: Substituting "building of new roadways" with "construction of new thoroughfares" employs a more sophisticated term, conveying the idea of infrastructure development in a more refined manner.

  3. "cutting down of trees" -> "deforestation"
    Explanation: Replacing "cutting down of trees" with "deforestation" not only condenses the expression but also uses a specialized term to describe the action, enhancing the clarity and specificity of the statement.

  4. "expansion of residential areas" -> "residential area expansion"
    Explanation: Changing "expansion of residential areas" to "residential area expansion" maintains clarity while presenting the information in a more streamlined and formal manner.

  5. "establishment of amenities catering to the growing needs" -> "creation of facilities addressing the evolving requirements"
    Explanation: Substituting "establishment of amenities catering to the growing needs" with "creation of facilities addressing the evolving requirements" uses more precise and nuanced language to describe the purpose of the amenities in relation to the town’s inhabitants.

  6. "there used to be four large farms" -> "four extensive farms existed"
    Explanation: Replacing "there used to be" with "existed" and "four large farms" with "four extensive farms" contributes to a more concise and direct expression, eliminating unnecessary words.

  7. "Turning to the year 1890" -> "Transitioning to 1890"
    Explanation: Changing "Turning to the year 1890" to "Transitioning to 1890" imparts a more fluid and succinct transition between time periods.

  8. "had been removed" -> "were dismantled"
    Explanation: Substituting "had been removed" with "were dismantled" introduces a more active and dynamic verb, enhancing the clarity of the sentence.

  9. "the forest had been diminished in size" -> "the forest had been reduced in size"
    Explanation: Replacing "the forest had been diminished in size" with "the forest had been reduced in size" uses a more straightforward term while maintaining the intended meaning.

  10. "a row of shops had been opened" -> "a line of shops had been established"
    Explanation: Changing "a row of shops had been opened" to "a line of shops had been established" employs a more formal and descriptive term, providing a clearer picture of the commercial development along the river.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by presenting a clear overview of the main changes that occurred in Willington from 1780 to 2000. It highlights key features such as the building of roadways, the expansion of residential areas, the removal of farms, the establishment of amenities, and the reduction in the size of the forest. The progression of changes over time is chronologically presented, providing a coherent understanding of the transformations that took place.

How to improve:
To enhance the essay and potentially achieve a higher band score, consider providing more detailed descriptions or explanations of the significance of the changes. While the key features are mentioned, extending these points further with additional relevant details could strengthen the response. Additionally, ensuring a more seamless transition between the different time periods and changes would contribute to a smoother flow of information.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas with a clear progression throughout. The introduction sets the stage by summarizing the key changes in Willington from 1780 to 2000. Each paragraph is focused on a specific time period, providing a chronological and coherent flow of information. The use of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, contributes to the overall coherence. Additionally, there is a consistent presentation of a central topic within each paragraph, aiding in clarity.

While the essay generally uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, there are instances where more variety could enhance cohesion further. For example, a greater use of pronouns and synonyms could reduce repetition, especially in phrases like "to the south" and "in the southwest." Overall, the essay achieves a Band 7 due to its effective organization, logical progression, and appropriate use of cohesive devices.

How to improve:
To elevate the coherence and cohesion to a Band 8 level, consider diversifying the use of cohesive devices further. Introduce a wider range of synonyms and pronouns to avoid repetition, creating a smoother and more varied flow. Additionally, pay attention to the balance of information within paragraphs, ensuring that each idea is logically connected to the preceding and following sentences. This will contribute to a more seamless presentation of information.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, covering various aspects of the changes in the town. It attempts to describe the alterations, such as the construction of roadways, changes in residential areas, and the establishment of amenities. While it uses vocabulary suitable for the task, there are opportunities to incorporate more varied and precise lexical items to enhance the description of the changes.

The essay tries to introduce diversity in vocabulary, discussing farms, residential areas, forests, and amenities, but the use of language lacks sophistication. For instance, instead of repeatedly mentioning "new roadways" or "residential areas," utilizing synonyms or more varied descriptors could elevate the lexical resource.

There are minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, which slightly affect the fluency and precision of conveying the information. The essay sometimes lacks the precision needed to vividly capture the changes in the town, which could be improved by refining the choice of words and expressions.

How to improve:
To improve the Lexical Resource score, focus on diversifying the vocabulary further. Incorporate synonyms, use more precise and contextually fitting terms, and aim for a higher level of sophistication in expression. Consider enhancing word choice to better convey the specific changes observed in the town over the mentioned periods, ensuring accuracy in collocation and expression. This can be achieved by exploring a wider range of vocabulary and refining the use of less common lexical items.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and punctuation, utilizing a variety of complex structures. The overall structure of the essay is clear and well-organized, providing a chronological overview of the changes in Willington from 1780 to 2000. The sentences are generally error-free, with only a few minor errors that do not significantly impede communication. The use of diverse sentence structures, such as compound and complex sentences, contributes to the fluency and coherence of the essay. However, there are some instances where sentence structure could be improved for enhanced clarity.

How to improve:
To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, consider refining certain sentence structures for greater precision. For example, in the second paragraph, the phrase "the forest had been diminished in size" could be replaced with a more specific description, such as "the forest had significantly reduced in size." Additionally, ensure that subject-verb agreement is consistently maintained throughout the essay. While the essay generally avoids major grammatical errors, a careful review can help identify and rectify any lingering minor errors or awkward phrasings. Overall, maintain the current level of complexity but focus on fine-tuning sentence structures for greater accuracy and clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided map delineates the transformations that transpired in Willington town during the years 1780, 1860, and 2000. In summary, the town underwent significant alterations, notably the establishment of new thoroughfares, deforestation, expansion of residential zones, and the introduction of amenities to meet the burgeoning needs of its populace.

Commencing with the year 1780, four expansive farms existed on the western side of the river, while the north-western region housed 100 private residences. Additionally, a considerable verdant expanse adorned the southwestern quadrant.

Advancing to 1860, a bridge materialized in the northwest, providing residents with access to adjacent areas. Concurrently, two farms were dismantled in the south, with the remaining pair relocated to the town’s center to facilitate the construction of a new northern road. Noteworthy alterations also transpired in the western sector, witnessing the construction of 100 new homes and a reduction in the size of the adjacent forest.

Fast-forwarding to 2000, a line of commercial establishments emerged along the riverbanks, coexisting with the establishment of a Westland for avian inhabitants in the southwest. The number of private residences in the north-west surged to 500 households. Southward of the residential precinct, a novel roadway materialized, linking the area to schools and sports fields, displacing woodlands in the process.

In summary, the metamorphosis of Willington town over the centuries reveals a dynamic interplay between urbanization, infrastructure development, and environmental changes. The juxtaposition of these key elements illustrates the town’s evolution while maintaining a delicate balance between progress and preservation.

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