The maps below illustrate how Frenton changed from 1990 to 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The maps below illustrate how Frenton changed from 1990 to 2012.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

The maps illustrate the transformation of Frenton between 1990 and 2012. Overall, the area experienced significant development, with notable changes in residential, commercial, and recreational facilities.
In 1990, the northern section of Frenton featured a bank, a hospital, and a school. By 2012, the bank was replaced by a restaurant, while the hospital and school remained in their original locations. However, a large area with plants and trees to the east of the bank in 1990 was replaced by several blocks of flats by 2012. In the central part, the café and park in 1990 was transformed into a hotel and golf course by 2012. This change expanded the recreational facilities in the town, offering a more modern attraction.
On the western side, the theatre and shops present in 1990 were replaced by a technopark and a cinema by 2012. Additionally, a supermarket emerged in the southwest corner, replacing the original housing area. Meanwhile, High Street remained the central road running diagonally across the town, and the library retained its position along this street in both maps.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "illustrate" -> "depict"
   Explanation: "Depict" is a more formal and precise term that conveys the act of representing or showing something, which is more suitable for an academic context.

2. "significant development" -> "substantial development"
   Explanation: "Substantial" conveys a stronger sense of importance and magnitude than "significant," making it a more precise choice in an academic discussion of development.

3. "notable changes" -> "remarkable changes"
   Explanation: "Remarkable" suggests a higher degree of significance and impact than "notable," enhancing the academic tone of the essay.

4. "featured" -> "included"
   Explanation: "Included" is a more formal term that accurately describes the presence of certain facilities in a specific area, aligning better with academic language.

5. "was replaced by" -> "was substituted with"
   Explanation: "Substituted with" conveys a more formal tone and emphasizes the act of replacing one entity with another, which is more appropriate for academic writing.

6. "remained in their original locations" -> "remained in their initial positions"
   Explanation: "Initial positions" is a more formal phrase that maintains clarity while enhancing the academic tone of the writing.

7. "a large area with plants and trees" -> "a substantial area characterized by vegetation"
   Explanation: "Substantial" emphasizes the size of the area, and "characterized by vegetation" provides a more precise description than simply stating "with plants and trees."

8. "transformed into" -> "converted into"
   Explanation: "Converted into" is a more formal term that accurately describes the change from one type of facility to another, fitting better in an academic context.

9. "expanded the recreational facilities" -> "enhanced the recreational facilities"
   Explanation: "Enhanced" suggests an improvement in quality or value, which is more precise than simply stating "expanded."

10. "emerged" -> "appeared"
    Explanation: "Appeared" is a more straightforward and formal term that indicates the introduction of the supermarket without implying any suddenness or surprise.

11. "original housing area" -> "previous residential area"
    Explanation: "Previous residential area" is more formal and precise, indicating the former use of the space without ambiguity.

12. "retained its position" -> "maintained its location"
    Explanation: "Maintained its location" is a more formal expression that clearly conveys that the library’s placement did not change, aligning better with academic standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main changes in Frenton between 1990 and 2012. It accurately identifies and describes the key features of the maps, including the development of residential, commercial, and recreational facilities. The essay also makes relevant comparisons between the two maps, highlighting the changes that have occurred.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes that have occurred. For example, the essay could mention the exact number of blocks of flats that were built in the northern section of Frenton. Additionally, the essay could provide more analysis of the changes, such as discussing the possible reasons for the development of the technopark and the supermarket.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating a clear progression throughout. The writer effectively presents the main features of the maps and makes relevant comparisons between the two time periods. Each paragraph focuses on specific areas of Frenton, maintaining a clear central topic. However, while cohesive devices are used appropriately, there are instances where their use could be improved to enhance the flow of ideas. For example, transitions between some sentences could be smoother to avoid any mechanical feel. Overall, the paragraphing is adequate, but there could be slight improvements in clarity and coherence in some sections.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the use of cohesive devices to ensure a more natural flow of ideas. This could involve varying the types of cohesive devices used and ensuring that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are seamless. Additionally, refining the paragraph structure to ensure that each paragraph not only presents a clear topic but also connects more fluidly to the overall argument would strengthen coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying the changes in Frenton. The use of terms like "transformation," "recreational facilities," and "blocks of flats" indicates an awareness of less common lexical items. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "the café and park in 1990 was transformed into a hotel and golf course," where "were" would be more appropriate to match the plural subject. Additionally, while the vocabulary is generally appropriate, it lacks the sophistication and variety that would elevate it to a higher band.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary and more precise word choices. Additionally, minimizing grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement, would enhance the overall lexical resource. Using more varied sentence structures and integrating uncommon lexical items more skillfully would also contribute to a stronger performance in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few minor errors present. For example, the phrase "the café and park in 1990 was transformed" should use "were" instead of "was" to agree with the plural subject. Overall, the grammatical range is adequate, but there are instances where errors may slightly detract from clarity.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy by ensuring subject-verb agreement and minimizing errors in complex sentences. Additionally, incorporating a wider range of sentence structures, such as more varied subordinate clauses, could further demonstrate flexibility and sophistication in grammar usage.

Bài sửa mẫu

The maps illustrate the transformation of Frenton between 1990 and 2012. Overall, the area underwent significant development, with notable changes in residential, commercial, and recreational facilities.

In 1990, the northern section of Frenton featured a bank, a hospital, and a school. By 2012, the bank had been replaced by a restaurant, while the hospital and school remained in their original locations. However, a large area with plants and trees to the east of the bank in 1990 was transformed into several blocks of flats by 2012. In the central part, the café and park present in 1990 were converted into a hotel and golf course by 2012. This change expanded the recreational facilities in the town, providing a more modern attraction.

On the western side, the theatre and shops that existed in 1990 were replaced by a technopark and a cinema by 2012. Additionally, a supermarket emerged in the southwest corner, taking the place of the original housing area. Meanwhile, High Street continued to serve as the central road running diagonally across the town, and the library maintained its position along this street in both maps.