The maps below show a town center in 1990 and the same town center today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The illustration indicates how a town center has changed over the period of 24 years from 1990.
Overall, as can be seen from the map, there have been numerous significant alterations in the town center. Although the layout remains unchanged, the main change is that the roads are now more pedestrian-friendly.
On the Northwest corner, the little stores have been replaced by a large commercial area, while the nearby children’s center is still there. Regarding the town center, the town hall, the library and the park are still located in the same spots.
In terms of changes in the southern, on Green street, where new apartment buildings have replaced a row of houses. Additionally, Oldfied street has a house on the southwest corner that is being swapped out with a block of apartments. Furthermore, the placement of pedestrian crossing on various streets is another noteworthy modification that has improved pedestrian traffic in the town center and given it a more eco-friendly vibe.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the illustration indicates" -> "the illustration illustrates"
Explanation: The verb "illustrates" is more precise and appropriate in an academic context, as it directly conveys the action of depicting or showing information.
"numerous significant alterations" -> "several significant alterations"
Explanation: "Several" is more precise than "numerous," which can be vague. It suggests a specific, manageable number of changes, enhancing clarity.
"the main change is that the roads are now more pedestrian-friendly" -> "the primary change is that the roads have become more pedestrian-friendly"
Explanation: "Primary" is a more formal alternative to "main," and "have become" indicates a transition over time, aligning better with the context of change.
"the little stores" -> "the small retail establishments"
Explanation: "Small retail establishments" is a more formal and precise term that fits the academic tone better than the informal "little stores."
"is still there" -> "remains"
Explanation: "Remains" is a more concise and formal way to express that something continues to exist in its original form.
"the town hall, the library and the park are still located in the same spots" -> "the town hall, library, and park remain situated in their original locations"
Explanation: "Remain situated" is more formal and precise than "are still located," and "original locations" provides clarity about the unchanged nature of these sites.
"In terms of changes in the southern" -> "Regarding changes in the southern"
Explanation: "Regarding" is more formal and appropriate than "In terms of," which can be seen as overly casual in academic writing.
"where new apartment buildings have replaced a row of houses" -> "where new apartment buildings have supplanted a row of houses"
Explanation: "Supplanted" is a more precise term that conveys the idea of one thing being replaced by another, enhancing the academic tone.
"has a house on the southwest corner that is being swapped out with a block of apartments" -> "contains a house on the southwest corner that is being replaced by a block of apartments"
Explanation: "Contains" is a more formal term than "has," and "replaced by" is clearer and more precise than "swapped out with."
"the placement of pedestrian crossing on various streets" -> "the installation of pedestrian crossings on various streets"
Explanation: "Installation" is a more formal and precise term than "placement," and "crossings" should be plural to accurately reflect multiple locations.
"has improved pedestrian traffic in the town center and given it a more eco-friendly vibe" -> "has enhanced pedestrian traffic in the town center and contributed to a more environmentally friendly atmosphere"
Explanation: "Enhanced" is a more formal alternative to "improved," and "contributed to a more environmentally friendly atmosphere" is clearer and more precise than "given it a more eco-friendly vibe."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the changes in the town center. It identifies the main features and makes comparisons where relevant. However, the essay lacks some detail and clarity. For example, the essay states that the roads are now more pedestrian-friendly, but it does not provide specific examples of how this is the case. Additionally, the essay could be more concise and focused.

How to improve:

Provide more specific details about the changes in the town center. For example, instead of saying that the roads are more pedestrian-friendly, the essay could mention the addition of pedestrian crossings, wider sidewalks, or the removal of parking spaces.
Focus on the most significant changes in the town center. The essay could be more concise by focusing on the key changes, such as the development of the commercial area and the replacement of houses with apartment buildings.
Use more precise language. The essay could be more accurate by using more specific vocabulary, such as "shopping mall" instead of "commercial area" and "apartment block" instead of "block of apartments."
Organize the essay more clearly. The essay could be more readable by using clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the introduction to the description of changes in the town center. However, while it uses cohesive devices effectively, there are instances where cohesion between sentences could be improved, leading to a somewhat mechanical flow. The paragraphing is present but could be more logically structured, particularly in separating distinct ideas or changes. Overall, the essay meets the criteria for Band 6 by arranging information coherently and demonstrating a clear progression, but it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher score.

How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer could focus on improving the logical flow between sentences and using a wider variety of cohesive devices. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph clearly presents a single central topic and includes supporting details would strengthen the overall structure. Finally, refining the use of referencing and substitution could help avoid repetition and enhance clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, with some attempts to use less common vocabulary. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and some awkward phrasing, such as "the little stores have been replaced by a large commercial area" which could be more precisely articulated. There are also minor errors in spelling and word formation, such as "Oldfied" instead of "Oldfield." While these errors do not impede overall communication, they do detract from the overall lexical resource.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range and using more precise and varied word choices. Additionally, they should pay attention to spelling and ensure that all terms are correctly formed. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and demonstrating a greater flexibility in language use would also enhance the essay’s lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "the little stores have been replaced by a large commercial area" and "the placement of pedestrian crossing on various streets is another noteworthy modification." While these errors do not significantly hinder communication, they indicate a lack of control over grammatical structures. Additionally, the essay lacks a wider range of complex structures and contains some punctuation issues, such as missing commas, which further supports the Band 6 score.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on increasing the variety and complexity of sentence structures used in the essay. This could involve incorporating more subordinate clauses and ensuring that complex sentences are grammatically accurate. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical and punctuation errors can enhance clarity and coherence. Expanding vocabulary and using more precise language would also contribute to a more sophisticated writing style.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the northwest corner, the small stores have been replaced by a large commercial area, while the nearby children’s center remains in its original location. Regarding the town center, the town hall, the library, and the park are still situated in the same spots.

In terms of changes in the south, on Green Street, new apartment buildings have replaced a row of houses. Additionally, on Oldfield Street, a house on the southwest corner has been swapped out for a block of apartments. Furthermore, the introduction of pedestrian crossings on various streets is another noteworthy modification that has improved pedestrian traffic in the town center and given it a more eco-friendly vibe.