The maps below show a town centre in 1990 and the same town centre today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps depict the modifications of the Town Centre from 1990 to Today.
It is clear from the maps that there is a new big shopping mall in the town. Additionally, the structure of the maps still remained.
Regard to the north of the maps, all the small shops include Newsagent’s, Grocer’s, Baker’s, Butcher’s and Cafe were knocked out to construct a large shopping mall.Meanwhile, the childcare centre still existed. In the East of the Oldfield street, the bank was replaced by a coffee shop.
To the West of the Oldfield street,the structure still remained, include the Park, Library and Town Hall. In terms of the south of the area, the new houses was erected and replaced the old aparment blocks.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"depict" -> "illustrate"
Explanation: "Depict" is a suitable word, but "illustrate" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"big" -> "large"
Explanation: "Big" is a common and colloquial term. "Large" is more formal and fits better in this context, especially when describing a significant structure like a shopping mall.
"still remained" -> "remained unchanged"
Explanation: "Still remained" is redundant. "Remained unchanged" conveys the same meaning more concisely and elegantly.
"Regard to" -> "Regarding"
Explanation: "Regard to" is grammatically incorrect. "Regarding" is the appropriate phrase to introduce the following clause.
"include" -> "included"
Explanation: The past tense "included" should be used to maintain grammatical consistency with the context.
"knocked out" -> "replaced"
Explanation: "Knocked out" is informal. "Replaced" is a more suitable term for indicating the substitution of small shops with a shopping mall.
"still existed" -> "remained"
Explanation: "Still existed" is redundant. "Remained" suffices to convey the continuity of the childcare center.
"In terms of" -> "Regarding"
Explanation: "In terms of" is less precise in this context. "Regarding" is more appropriate to introduce the following topic.
"include" -> "included"
Explanation: The past tense "included" should be used for grammatical consistency.
"was erected" -> "were erected"
Explanation: "Was erected" should be "were erected" to agree with the plural subject "new houses."
"old aparment blocks" -> "old apartment blocks"
Explanation: "Aparment" is a misspelling. "Apartment" is the correct spelling for the type of building mentioned.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay generally addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the town center in 1990 and today. It identifies the presence of a new shopping mall and mentions the retention of certain structures. However, the overview lacks clarity and coherence. Some key features are identified, such as the replacement of small shops with a shopping mall, the replacement of a bank with a coffee shop, and the construction of new houses in the south. Yet, the essay lacks detail and coherence in presenting these features. The descriptions are brief and lack expansion, and there are inaccuracies in the presentation, such as mentioning the retention of the childcare center without indicating its presence in either map. Additionally, the essay fails to make comparisons where relevant, as required by the task.

How to improve:

Provide a clear and structured overview of the main features presented in both maps.
Ensure accuracy in describing changes and features present in the maps.
Include relevant comparisons between the town center in 1990 and today.
Extend the descriptions to provide more detail where necessary, avoiding vague statements.
Improve coherence and organization to enhance the clarity of the essay’s presentation.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some organization by discussing various changes in the town center from 1990 to today. However, there are issues with coherence and cohesion. The essay lacks a clear overall progression, with some ideas presented without clear connections. Additionally, there is inadequate use of cohesive devices, leading to choppy transitions between sentences and paragraphs. The referencing of locations and changes is somewhat unclear, and the use of paragraphs is inconsistent.

How to improve:

Improve overall organization by ensuring a clear progression of ideas from one point to the next.
Use cohesive devices more effectively to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This could include using linking words/phrases like "furthermore," "however," "in addition," etc.
Provide clearer referencing of locations and changes to enhance coherence.
Ensure consistent and logical use of paragraphs to separate different ideas or points.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a basic level of lexical resource. It utilizes a limited range of vocabulary to describe the changes in the town center from 1990 to today. While some key features are mentioned, such as the construction of a shopping mall, replacement of shops with new establishments, and the erection of new houses, the vocabulary used is minimal and lacks variety. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, such as "aparment" instead of "apartment" and lack of articles in certain places.

How to improve:
To improve lexical resource and achieve a higher band score, the essay should incorporate a wider range of vocabulary relevant to urban development and changes over time. Additionally, attention to spelling and word formation is necessary to enhance clarity and coherence. Using more precise and varied vocabulary, along with accurate spelling and word formation, would elevate the lexical sophistication of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of structures with some attempt at complex sentences. Simple sentence structures dominate the essay, and there is occasional use of more complex forms. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay, which affect clarity and communication. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("the structure of the maps still remained"), missing articles ("a new big shopping mall"), and inconsistent tense usage ("all the small shops include… were knocked out"). Punctuation is also faulty in places, with missing commas and inconsistent capitalization.

How to improve: To improve the score, focus on expanding the range of sentence structures used in the essay. Incorporate more complex sentence forms, such as subordinate clauses and compound sentences, to demonstrate greater grammatical flexibility. Additionally, pay close attention to grammar and punctuation to minimize errors that can impact the clarity and coherence of the essay. Proofreading and editing for consistency in tense, article usage, and punctuation will help to enhance the overall accuracy of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps illustrate the evolution of the Town Centre between 1990 and the present day. It is evident from the visual data that a significant change has occurred, notably with the establishment of a large shopping mall. Furthermore, the fundamental layout of the area has largely remained intact.

To the north of the area, the transformation is striking, as the small individual shops such as the Newsagent’s, Grocer’s, Baker’s, Butcher’s, and Cafe have been replaced by the construction of a sizable shopping complex. However, the childcare center appears to have persisted amidst this redevelopment.

Moving towards the eastern section along Oldfield Street, the former bank has been substituted with a coffee shop, indicating a shift in commercial offerings. Meanwhile, the western portion of Oldfield Street retains its original infrastructure, comprising the Park, Library, and Town Hall.

In contrast, the southern region exhibits a notable alteration, with new residential houses being erected, replacing the previous apartment blocks. This transformation signifies a shift in the demographic landscape of the area over time.