The maps below show the changes in the art gallery ground floor in 2005 and the present day. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparisons.

The given pictures illustrate how the layout of an art gallery has changed over the past 5 years.
Overall, while the right side of the building has remained intact, notable changes have been seen in other areas to make the gallery more convenient and disability-friendly. Key changes involve the introduction of several facilities and the rearrangement of some features.
Looking at the pictures in more detail, we can see that over the span of 5 years, the left side of the gallery has witnessed noticeable modifications. In 2005, the exhibition room 4 was situated in the lower-left corner; however, it has since been converted into two separate rooms, with the lower one being specifically designed for children while the upper one being utilized for temporary exhibitions. Just above that, there was a gallery office, but it has been demolished, making way for the addition of a vending machine to cater for the refreshment needs of visitors. The upper-left corner also witnessed the conversion of a café into a new gallery shop.
Regarding the central area, visitors can still enter the library via an entrance located to the south of the building, next to which a ramp for wheelchairs has now been introduced, facilitating the access of disable people. Roughly in the middle of the library was an entrance hall, and while this feature remains unchanged, the former receptionist, previously located adjacent to the old gallery, has been moved closer to the entrance hall. Another noticeable change involve the reduction in size of the stairs, located at the rear of the building, to make space for a new lift.
Finally, on the right, no changes have been made to the exhibition rooms 1, 2, and 3.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The given pictures illustrate" -> "The provided images depict"
Explanation: Replacing "illustrate" with "depict" provides a more precise verb choice, as "depict" is commonly used in academic writing to describe visual representations, enhancing the formal tone of the sentence.
"notable changes have been seen" -> "significant alterations have been implemented"
Explanation: "Significant alterations have been implemented" is more formal and specific than "notable changes have been seen," which sounds somewhat vague and informal.
"Key changes involve the introduction of several facilities and the rearrangement of some features." -> "The key modifications include the introduction of several facilities and the reconfiguration of certain features."
Explanation: "Key modifications include" is more specific and formal than "Key changes involve," and "reconfiguration" is a more precise term than "rearrangement" in the context of intentional changes to a layout.
"we can see that" -> "it is evident that"
Explanation: "It is evident that" is more formal and academically appropriate than "we can see that," which is somewhat conversational.
"the exhibition room 4 was situated" -> "exhibition room 4 was located"
Explanation: "Located" is a more precise term in this context than "situated," which can be less specific in formal writing.
"has been converted into two separate rooms" -> "has been reconfigured into two distinct spaces"
Explanation: "Reconfigured into two distinct spaces" is more precise and formal than "converted into two separate rooms," which is somewhat colloquial.
"the lower one being specifically designed for children" -> "the lower space designed specifically for children"
Explanation: "The lower space designed specifically for children" is more concise and maintains a formal tone, avoiding the redundancy of "the lower one being."
"the upper one being utilized for temporary exhibitions" -> "the upper space utilized for temporary exhibitions"
Explanation: Similar to the previous suggestion, "the upper space utilized" is more concise and formal than "the upper one being utilized."
"making way for the addition of a vending machine" -> "to accommodate the installation of a vending machine"
Explanation: "To accommodate the installation of a vending machine" is more formal and precise, replacing the less formal "making way for."
"facilitating the access of disable people" -> "facilitating access for people with disabilities"
Explanation: "Facilitating access for people with disabilities" is more respectful and formally appropriate than "the access of disable people," which is grammatically incorrect and insensitive.
"Another noticeable change involve" -> "Another notable change involves"
Explanation: Correcting the verb agreement from "involve" to "involves" aligns with subject-verb agreement rules in English grammar.
"to make space for a new lift" -> "to create space for a new elevator"
Explanation: "Elevator" is the correct term for the device described, not "lift," which is more commonly used in British English but less formal in this context.

These changes enhance the formal tone, precision, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay covers all the requirements of the task and presents a clear overview of the main changes. It also clearly presents and highlights key features/bullet points, but could be more fully extended. For example, the essay could have provided more detail about the changes to the left side of the gallery, such as the size of the new children’s area or the type of vending machine that was added.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detail about the changes to the gallery. For example, the essay could have provided more detail about the size of the new children’s area or the type of vending machine that was added. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language. For example, instead of saying "the left side of the gallery has witnessed noticeable modifications," the essay could have said "the left side of the gallery has undergone significant changes."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating clear progression throughout. It effectively presents a central topic within each paragraph, making it easy for the reader to follow the changes in the art gallery. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are instances where the cohesion could be improved, such as in the transitions between some sentences. Overall, while the essay meets the criteria for Band 7, there are minor issues with the use of cohesive devices that prevent it from achieving a higher score.

How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer could work on varying the cohesive devices used and ensuring that transitions between ideas are smoother. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus and that ideas flow logically from one to the next would help in achieving a higher band score. More explicit referencing and substitution could also reduce repetition and improve clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying the changes in the art gallery. The writer uses less common lexical items, such as "disability-friendly," "vending machine," and "facilitating," which shows an awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and phrasing, such as "the addition of a vending machine to cater for the refreshment needs of visitors," which could be expressed more succinctly. Additionally, there are minor issues with spelling and word formation, but these do not impede communication.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary further and using more sophisticated lexical items with greater precision. They should also aim to minimize errors in word choice and ensure that all phrases are natural and appropriate for the context. Practicing the use of varied sentence structures and refining their understanding of collocations would also enhance the overall lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few minor errors present. The overall clarity of the essay is maintained, and the main features of the maps are effectively summarized and compared. However, there are some instances of awkward phrasing and minor grammatical inaccuracies that prevent a higher score.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the complexity and variety of sentence structures while ensuring that all sentences are error-free. Additionally, refining awkward phrases and ensuring precision in language use will contribute to improved grammatical accuracy. Regular practice with complex structures and seeking feedback on written work can also help in achieving greater fluency and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given pictures illustrate how the layout of an art gallery has changed over the past five years. Overall, while the right side of the building has remained intact, notable changes have been made in other areas to enhance the gallery’s convenience and accessibility for individuals with disabilities. Key modifications include the introduction of several facilities and the rearrangement of certain features.

Looking at the pictures in more detail, we can see that over the span of five years, the left side of the gallery has undergone significant transformations. In 2005, exhibition room 4 was situated in the lower-left corner; however, it has since been converted into two separate rooms, with the lower room specifically designed for children and the upper room designated for temporary exhibitions. Just above that, there was a gallery office, but it has been demolished to make way for the addition of a vending machine to cater to the refreshment needs of visitors. The upper-left corner also saw the conversion of a café into a new gallery shop.

Regarding the central area, visitors can still enter the library via an entrance located to the south of the building, next to which a ramp for wheelchairs has now been introduced, facilitating access for individuals with disabilities. Roughly in the middle of the library was an entrance hall, and while this feature remains unchanged, the former receptionist’s desk, previously located adjacent to the old gallery, has been moved closer to the entrance hall. Another noticeable change involves the reduction in the size of the stairs located at the rear of the building, creating space for a new lift.

Finally, on the right side, no changes have been made to exhibition rooms 1, 2, and 3.