The maps below show the changes that occurred to a town named Willington in 1780, 1860, and 2000.

The maps below show the changes that occurred to a town named Willington in 1780, 1860,
and 2000.

The three maps illustrate the obvious and mild changes in Willington over the years 1780, 1860, and 2000. Overall, the town underwent significant modernization with more facilities.
Between 1780 and 1860, a bridge was constructed across the river in the West corner of the map, and a new road was built to connect with the river. In the central area, the number of farms was reduced by half. In addition, in the North sector of Willington, more houses were erected to provide accommodation for the growing population. To the south of this area, woodlands were cleared to make way for residential development.
From 1860 to 2000, further transformations took place. A wetland was created to the South of the river to support birdlife, and new shops were established along the riverbank for local residents. Moreover, the number of houses increased, with 200 homes added compared to the 500 homes in the North part of the town. In the South region, sports fields were developed on land previously covered by woods. These houses and sports fields were connected by a secondary road.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The three maps illustrate the obvious and mild changes" -> "The three maps depict the significant and gradual changes"
Explanation: Replacing "obvious and mild" with "significant and gradual" enhances the academic tone by using more precise adjectives that accurately describe the extent of the changes depicted in the maps, which is more suitable for formal writing.
"Overall, the town underwent significant modernization with more facilities."
-> "Overall, the town underwent substantial modernization, with the addition of various facilities."
Explanation: Changing "significant modernization with more facilities" to "substantial modernization, with the addition of various facilities" clarifies and specifies the extent of the changes, and uses "various" to emphasize the diversity of facilities added, which is more precise and formal.
"a bridge was constructed" -> "a bridge was built"
Explanation: "Built" is a more commonly used verb in formal writing when referring to the construction of structures, making it more natural and precise in this context.
"a new road was built to connect with the river" -> "a new road was constructed to connect with the river"
Explanation: "Constructed" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "built" when referring to the creation of infrastructure.
"the number of farms was reduced by half" -> "the number of farms decreased by half"
Explanation: "Decreased" is more specific and formal than "reduced" in this context, which is more suitable for academic descriptions of quantitative changes.
"more houses were erected" -> "additional housing was constructed"
Explanation: "Additional housing was constructed" is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial tone of "more houses were erected."
"woodlands were cleared to make way for residential development" -> "woodlands were cleared to accommodate residential development"
Explanation: "To accommodate" is a more formal and precise phrase than "to make way for," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"further transformations took place" -> "further developments occurred"
Explanation: "Developments occurred" is a more formal and precise way to describe changes over time in an academic context.
"A wetland was created to the South of the river" -> "A wetland was established to the south of the river"
Explanation: "Established" is a more formal term than "created" when referring to the creation of natural environments like wetlands.
"new shops were established along the riverbank" -> "new commercial establishments were opened along the riverbank"
Explanation: "Commercial establishments" is a more formal term than "shops," and "opened" is more specific than "established" in this context, providing clarity about the nature of the businesses.
"the number of houses increased, with 200 homes added" -> "the number of dwellings increased by 200"
Explanation: "Dwellings" is a more formal term than "houses," and "increased by 200" is more precise than "increased, with 200 homes added," which is redundant.
"sports fields were developed on land previously covered by woods" -> "sports facilities were developed on land previously wooded"
Explanation: "Sports facilities" is a more formal term than "sports fields," and "previously wooded" is a more precise and formal way to describe the former use of the land.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the changes in Willington between 1780, 1860, and 2000. It presents information appropriately selected, highlighting key features such as the construction of a bridge, the reduction of farms, the increase in houses, and the development of sports fields. However, some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the statement that "the number of houses increased, with 200 homes added compared to the 500 homes in the North part of the town" is inaccurate, as the map shows that there were 500 homes in 2000, not 200.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by focusing on the most significant changes and providing more accurate data. For example, instead of stating that the number of farms was reduced by half, the essay could state that there were four farms in 1780 and two farms in 1860. Additionally, the essay could be more concise and avoid unnecessary repetition. For example, the sentence "These houses and sports fields were connected by a secondary road" could be omitted as it is already implied in the previous sentence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating clear progression throughout the description of changes in Willington. Each paragraph presents a central topic, such as the changes between specific years, which helps maintain coherence. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are instances where the connections between ideas could be more fluid, indicating some under- or over-use. Overall, the essay meets the requirements for a Band 7, as it effectively presents the information while maintaining a clear structure.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from a more varied use of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next would improve overall coherence. More explicit referencing and substitution could also help reduce repetition and enhance clarity in the connections between different points.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for flexibility and precision in describing the changes in Willington over the years. The use of terms such as "modernization," "erected," and "transformation" shows an awareness of less common lexical items. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "woodlands were cleared" which could be more precisely stated as "woodland areas were cleared." Additionally, while the vocabulary is adequate, it lacks the sophistication and variety that would elevate it to a higher band.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on incorporating a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring precise word choices throughout the essay. This could involve using more varied synonyms and phrases to avoid repetition and enhance the overall lexical richness. Furthermore, paying attention to collocations and ensuring that less common vocabulary is used accurately will help improve the score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences, which aligns well with the criteria for Band 7. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, although there are a few minor errors present. The use of cohesive devices is effective, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay. However, some sentences could be more varied in structure to enhance the overall grammatical range.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of grammatical structures, including more complex sentences and varied sentence beginnings. Additionally, minimizing any remaining errors and ensuring that all sentences are error-free will enhance the overall accuracy. Practicing the use of advanced grammatical forms and ensuring clarity in complex structures will also contribute to a higher score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The three maps illustrate the significant and subtle changes that occurred in Willington over the years 1780, 1860, and 2000. Overall, the town underwent considerable modernization, resulting in the addition of various facilities.

Between 1780 and 1860, a bridge was constructed across the river in the western corner of the map, and a new road was built to connect to the river. In the central area, the number of farms was reduced by half. Additionally, in the northern sector of Willington, more houses were erected to accommodate the growing population. To the south of this area, woodlands were cleared to make way for residential development.

From 1860 to 2000, further transformations took place. A wetland was created to the south of the river to support birdlife, and new shops were established along the riverbank for local residents. Moreover, the number of houses increased, with 200 homes added compared to the 500 homes in the northern part of the town. In the southern region, sports fields were developed on land that was previously covered by woods. These houses and sports fields were connected by a secondary road.