The maps below shows the changes of Huntingdon now and in the futre. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The maps below shows the changes of Huntingdon now and in the futre. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,
and make comparisons where relevant
The two maps compare the layout of the town of Huntingdon as it is now and the proposed changes for its future development.
Overall, the most notable changes are the replacement of the airfield with an industrial estate and the expansion of the road network. These modifications aim to improve connectivity and cater to the anticipated growth in traffic, supporting the town’s shift towards industrial development while maintaining the core areas intact.
In the picture of current Huntingdon, it features an airfield in the northern part of the town, along with a railway station situated near Brampton Road. The town is connected by major roads, such as the A14 and the Ring Road, which provide access around the built-up areas, including residential zones, shops, and the town center.
In the proposed future development, the airfield will be replaced by an industrial estate, indicating a shift towards industrial expansion. In addition to this, significant changes in the town’s road infrastructure will be made. A new roundabout is planned near Brampton Road, and the roads will be improved to facilitate better connections, particularly in the northern parts of the town. This expansion will help accommodate the expected increase in traffic due to the industrial estate. Despite these changes, key landmarks such as the railway station and the town center will remain in place, but with enhanced accessibility through the new and extended roads.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The two maps compare" -> "The maps depict"
Explanation: "Depict" is a more precise and formal term than "compare," which is more commonly used in academic writing to describe the presentation of visual information. -
"the town of Huntingdon as it is now and the proposed changes for its future development" -> "the current town of Huntingdon and the proposed future developments"
Explanation: Using "the current town" and "the proposed future developments" clarifies the distinction between the present and the planned changes, enhancing the formal tone and precision of the description. -
"the replacement of the airfield with an industrial estate" -> "the conversion of the airfield to an industrial estate"
Explanation: "Conversion" is more specific and formal than "replacement," which implies a complete removal, which may not be the case in this context. -
"expand the road network" -> "enhance the road network"
Explanation: "Enhance" suggests a more detailed and thorough improvement, which is more suitable for an academic context than the more general "expand." -
"cater to the anticipated growth in traffic" -> "address the anticipated increase in traffic"
Explanation: "Address" is a more formal and precise verb than "cater to," which can sound somewhat informal and vague in this context. -
"supporting the town’s shift towards industrial development" -> "facilitating the town’s transition to industrial development"
Explanation: "Facilitating" is more specific and formal than "supporting," and "transition" is a more precise term than "shift," which can be vague. -
"the picture of current Huntingdon" -> "the current layout of Huntingdon"
Explanation: "Layout" is a more precise term than "picture," which is less formal and can be misleading in this context. -
"along with a railway station situated near Brampton Road" -> "accompanied by a railway station located near Brampton Road"
Explanation: "Accompanied by" is a more formal phrase than "along with," and "located" is more precise than "situated" in describing the position of the railway station. -
"major roads, such as the A14 and the Ring Road" -> "principal roads, including the A14 and the Ring Road"
Explanation: "Principal" is a more formal synonym for "major," and "including" is more precise than "such as" in listing specific examples. -
"indicating a shift towards industrial expansion" -> "marking a shift towards industrial expansion"
Explanation: "Marking" is a more formal and precise verb than "indicating," and it better conveys the idea of a clear change. -
"significant changes in the town’s road infrastructure" -> "substantial modifications to the town’s road infrastructure"
Explanation: "Substantial modifications" is a more precise and formal way to describe the extent and nature of the changes. -
"will be improved to facilitate better connections" -> "will be enhanced to improve connectivity"
Explanation: "Enhanced" and "connectivity" are more formal and precise terms than "improved" and "connections," which are somewhat vague and informal. -
"key landmarks such as the railway station and the town center" -> "key landmarks, including the railway station and the town center"
Explanation: Using "including" instead of "such as" provides a clearer indication of the exhaustive nature of the list, which is more appropriate in formal writing.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7
Explanation: The essay covers all the requirements of the task and presents a clear overview of the main changes. It clearly presents and highlights the key features of the maps, such as the replacement of the airfield with an industrial estate and the expansion of the road network. However, the essay could be more fully extended by providing more specific details about the changes to the road network, such as the exact location of the new roundabout and the specific improvements made to the roads.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes to the road network. For example, the essay could state that the new roundabout is located near Brampton Road and that the roads will be widened and improved to facilitate better connections, particularly in the northern parts of the town. The essay could also provide more specific details about the expected increase in traffic due to the industrial estate. For example, the essay could state that the industrial estate is expected to create 1,000 new jobs and that this will lead to an increase in traffic of 10%.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation:
The essay logically organizes information and ideas with a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, and the use of cohesive devices is appropriate, though there may be some instances of under- or over-use. The essay effectively uses paragraphing to separate different aspects of the current and future layouts of Huntingdon, making it easy to follow the changes described.
How to improve:
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Enhance Cohesion: While the essay uses cohesive devices, there is room for improvement in making transitions between sentences and paragraphs smoother. For example, using more varied linking words and phrases could help in this regard.
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Refine Paragraphing: Although the essay uses paragraphing effectively, ensuring that each paragraph is fully developed with supporting details can enhance clarity. For instance, the paragraph describing the current layout could include more specific details about the residential zones and shops to provide a fuller picture.
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Avoid Repetition: The essay occasionally repeats information, such as the changes in the road network. Ensuring that each point is made once and then elaborated upon can improve coherence.
By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve a higher band score for Coherence and Cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for flexibility and precision in conveying the main features of the maps. The use of terms such as "industrial estate," "road network," and "connectivity" indicates an awareness of less common lexical items. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as the phrase "the picture of current Huntingdon," which could be more precisely expressed. Additionally, while the essay is generally clear, there are minor errors in phrasing that detract from overall fluency.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of advanced vocabulary and ensuring precise word choice throughout the essay. Incorporating more sophisticated phrases and reducing any awkward constructions will enhance clarity and demonstrate a higher level of lexical control. Additionally, proofreading for minor errors in spelling and word formation can further improve the overall quality of the writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and includes frequent error-free sentences. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few minor errors that do not significantly impede understanding. The use of a mix of simple and complex sentence forms is evident, contributing to a clear and coherent presentation of the information. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied, and some grammatical inaccuracies could be addressed for a higher score.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on increasing the variety of sentence structures, particularly by incorporating more complex clauses and varied punctuation. Additionally, proofreading for minor grammatical errors and ensuring that all sentences are error-free would enhance the overall accuracy and flexibility of the language used. Engaging with more sophisticated vocabulary and complex ideas could also elevate the essay’s quality.
Bài sửa mẫu
The two maps compare the layout of the town of Huntingdon as it currently exists and the proposed changes for its future development. Overall, the most notable changes include the replacement of the airfield with an industrial estate and the expansion of the road network. These modifications aim to enhance connectivity and accommodate the anticipated growth in traffic, supporting the town’s transition towards industrial development while keeping the core areas intact.
In the current depiction of Huntingdon, there is an airfield located in the northern part of the town, alongside a railway station situated near Brampton Road. The town is connected by major roads, such as the A14 and the Ring Road, which provide access around the built-up areas, including residential zones, shops, and the town center.
In the proposed future development, the airfield will be replaced by an industrial estate, indicating a shift towards industrial expansion. Additionally, significant changes to the town’s road infrastructure are planned. A new roundabout is proposed near Brampton Road, and the roads will be improved to facilitate better connections, particularly in the northern parts of the town. This expansion will help accommodate the expected increase in traffic due to the industrial estate. Despite these changes, key landmarks such as the railway station and the town center will remain in place, but with enhanced accessibility through the new and extended roads.
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