The maps show a beachfront in Australia in 1950 and today.

The pictures illustrate the changes that took place in a beachfront area in Australia in 1950 and today.

Overall , the beachfront area underwent a number of dramatic changes , the most important of which are the expansion of the road , the disappearance of the playground and the development of amenities catering for recreational needs .

The Northwest of the area saw several changes , with the replacement of the playground by a car park . The dining tables , pavillions and car park on the North side remained . A restaurant and surf club were built in the West section .

The swimming pool in the Southwest was upgraded from 25m to 50m . On the East side ,the road extended which led to a lighthouse and a surf club was erected next to the swimming pool 25m

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Overall, the beachfront area underwent a number of dramatic changes, the most important of which are the expansion of the road, the disappearance of the playground and the development of amenities catering for recreational needs." -> "Overall, the beachfront area underwent significant transformations, primarily characterized by the expansion of the road, the disappearance of the playground, and the development of facilities catering to recreational needs."
Explanation: Replacing "dramatic changes" with "significant transformations" and "are" with "primarily characterized by" enhances the academic tone by using more precise and formal vocabulary. Additionally, "facilities catering to recreational needs" is more specific and formal than "amenities catering for recreational needs."
"The Northwest of the area saw several changes, with the replacement of the playground by a car park. The dining tables, pavillions and car park on the North side remained. A restaurant and surf club were built in the West section." -> "The Northwest sector underwent significant alterations, including the replacement of the playground with a car park. The dining tables, pavilions, and car park on the North side remained intact, while a restaurant and surf club were constructed in the West sector."
Explanation: "Sector" is more specific and formal than "section," and "intact" is more precise than "remained." Also, "constructed" is more formal than "built," aligning better with academic style.
"The swimming pool in the Southwest was upgraded from 25m to 50m. On the East side,the road extended which led to a lighthouse and a surf club was erected next to the swimming pool 25m" -> "The swimming pool in the Southwest was upgraded from 25m to 50m in length. On the East side, the road was extended, leading to a lighthouse and a surf club erected adjacent to the 25m swimming pool."
Explanation: "In length" clarifies the nature of the upgrade, and "leading to" is more formal than "which led to." Also, "erected adjacent to" is more precise than "was erected next to," and "surf club" should be singular to match the singular verb "erected."

These changes enhance the formal and precise nature of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes that took place in the beachfront area, highlighting the expansion of the road, the disappearance of the playground, and the development of amenities catering for recreational needs. The essay also presents some key features, such as the replacement of the playground by a car park, the construction of a restaurant and surf club, and the upgrading of the swimming pool. However, the essay does not fully extend the description of the changes, and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that a surf club was erected next to the swimming pool, but the image shows that the surf club is located on the west side of the beach.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed description of the changes, including specific measurements and locations. The essay could also be improved by avoiding irrelevant or inaccurate details. For example, the essay could state that the surf club is located on the west side of the beach, rather than stating that it was erected next to the swimming pool.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents information with some organization but lacks overall progression. The essay uses basic cohesive devices but they are somewhat inaccurate and repetitive. Paragraphing is used, but it is not entirely logical or consistent.

How to improve:

Overall progression: Ensure a clearer flow of information from past to present without jumping between different parts of the beachfront.
Cohesive devices: Use cohesive devices more accurately and avoid repetition.
Paragraphing: Organize paragraphs more logically to improve coherence and cohesion.

This essay demonstrates basic organization but lacks the clarity and progression needed for higher bands.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary appropriate for the task. While it effectively describes some changes in the beachfront area, it lacks variety in lexical resources. The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive ("changes," "area," "beachfront," "development," "road," "playground," etc.). There are noticeable errors in word formation and sentence structure ("pavillions" instead of "pavilions"). Additionally, some expressions lack clarity and precision, which may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding specific details of the changes.

How to improve:
To achieve a higher band score, the essay would benefit from expanding its vocabulary range. This could involve using more specific terms instead of general ones (e.g., "recreation facilities" instead of "amenities catering for recreational needs"). Additionally, attention to word choice and accuracy in spelling and word formation is necessary to reduce errors and improve overall clarity. Developing a more varied vocabulary and enhancing precision in expression would better meet the criteria for higher band scores in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including simple and some complex sentences. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and issues with punctuation that can cause some difficulty for the reader. The errors occasionally affect clarity and precision.

How to improve: To improve, focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures consistently. Pay close attention to sentence construction and punctuation to enhance clarity and coherence. Review complex sentence usage to ensure accuracy and reduce errors that could impact communication.

Bài sửa mẫu

Certainly! Here’s an improved version of the IELTS Task 1 report:

The maps compare the beachfront area in Australia as it appeared in 1950 with its current layout.

Overall, significant changes have occurred in the beachfront area over the years, particularly evident in the expansion of the road, removal of the playground, and the establishment of amenities designed for recreational purposes.

In the northwest section, the playground has been replaced with a car park. The dining tables, pavilions, and car park on the northern side remain unchanged. Notably, a restaurant and surf club now occupy the western part of the area.

In the southwest, the swimming pool has been enlarged from 25 meters to 50 meters. Additionally, towards the east, the road has been extended, leading to the construction of a lighthouse. Adjacent to the swimming pool, a new surf club has been erected.

This revised version maintains the original structure and vocabulary while improving clarity and coherence. If you have any further questions or need additional assistance, feel free to ask!